Speaker 1: 0:07

hello friends. Welcome to the artist within podcast. I'm your host, adela hitel. This podcast is produced and sponsored by project human think, a new way to think about mental and emotional health. Our whole mission is to bridge that gap between your mind and your whole being of emotions and make you understand that well. Hopefully, you'll understand that you are a being and your whole being of emotions, and make you understand that well. Hopefully, you'll understand that you are a being and your primary function in this world is to be and exist, however that may mean for you. I have, first of all, happy new year. Happy new year. Happy new year. It's 2025. Sorry for my singing, but I've been taking some lessons on my own. It's 2025.

Speaker 1: 0:52

I have been trying to record this episode for four days now because it was supposed to be a whole ending of 2024. What can you do in 2025? And where you go? The whole nine yards. But God has different plans for me. That's one of the things I've learned. He has absolutely different plans for me and every time I have sat down to record this episode, I have been called.

Speaker 1: 1:18

I have been called and when my phone rings, I answer, literally. When my phone rings, I answer. If it's people I know, if it's people who are in my network, if I know your number, I will absolutely answer. And if I have told you and given you my number and you say, hey, I need you, I will answer. I also have realized that I have extreme PTSD from that, because every phone call I have gotten in the last three to five years has been of an emergency of some kind. My phone calls are not of let's go to work and let's talk and let's chit chat, let's hash things out. Here and there they are counseling, in a way of guidance and coaching and holding space for those that need it the most, and this seems like the intro into 2025 is going to be no different, but the volume of it might be heavier than I anticipated, meaning that those closest to me now are going through some of the hardest moments in their lives. Those closest to me have to navigate everything that I have navigated in the past and potentially will have to navigate everything that I have navigated in the past and potentially will have to navigate again. But I have navigated in the past and in some shapes and forms I have some answers, but in others I don't. I have no answers. Also, my answers aren't going to be very helpful when you're going through a tsunami, right, when you're going through this, this, this epic proportion in your life, that something's happening. I'm just not to have many answers or be of good use or be of anything other than to hold space, and so, for those who needed me to hold space, I hope I have been able to do that for you in 2024.

Speaker 1: 2:55

I've also learned the capacity that I have for that, which has been fantastic because, as a human being, we are trained to believe that the physical form of us is our capacity and how far we can push our mind, or our mind and our bodies, to a level of either intellect or physicality. Right, and what level of highest medal can we achieve with our bodies and highest trophy or, you know, award can we achieve with our bodies and highest trophy or, you know, award can we achieve with our intellect? Well, the other part of the capacity in the education that we're not very fond of or very aware of or very even involved in our own selves, is the emotional part, is the emotional structure, is the regulation of yourself and this last two. I've had to take the time completely and really study my triggers. I'm finding them every day. I mean, I was just the other side the other day, out with my family to dinner and the trigger that I realized the tick that I have is an instant need to accommodate. Instant need to accommodate, not a pause and reflect and then act upon it, not a PSA at all, but it is an absolute instant, like knee-jerk reaction, to be helpful, to assist, to be there. And I mean this way because, literally in a span of five minutes, three things happen.

Speaker 1: 4:26

We saw someone we knew. I went straight to them. I was like hello, just because I was. I mean, that's who I am, that's what we do, not even reading the situation. Somebody dropped their pen next to me and I was like, oh, let me jump up and let me get that pen for you, when it wasn't even had anything to do with me. The other person was like can we have your chair? And I'm oh, let me get up and give you the chair. And my husband had to stop me in all those instances and was like stop, stop, stop, you're too attentive. Like you're too helpful, you're too, it has nothing to do with you. And it made me realize that I jump at the first gun for humans. When the moment they say something, the moment they ask for something, request has been made, I am the first to jump at it.

Speaker 1: 5:09

That was very sobering, because I don't want to be that. I don't want to be a beck and call girl and jump at your whim and at your service, because that's how I'm programmed to, not because that of you. It has nothing to do with you or anyone or any of those situations. It has to do with me. It's nothing personal to you, it's personal with me and so, personally, it's not who I want to be. I don't want to. I want to assist. I want to be here and I want to be served. But I want to serve God. I want to assist God in his word. I want to be of service to humanity.

Speaker 1: 5:50

That is required and needed the most. Not to pick up the pen, not to move the chair, not to make your functionality your process, because I'm really great at it and and that's what I do and I'm programmed to do like a robot. It's not my job. Boy, was that a big? You know, hit for me. It's not my job. It's not my job and I preach that right. I literally preach that to people. You're not responsible for others, you're not responsible for them. You're blah, blah, blah. And yet I am in without even a thought, without even a it's, it's, it's such a programmed physical response to someone in need and it doesn't matter the level of need, right, like doesn't matter. I also had to take time and think about that and reflect upon my life and say, well, I have made it so that everyone's need is a life or death need. Right, I've made their baseline be my baseline, which is death. My baseline. Life is death, like literally death. I'm not dead today, I am alive and that's fucking great. My baseline.

Speaker 1: 6:56

Every reason I would be triggered for anything is because I thought I would die if it didn't happen. My complex trauma stems from that, because my life was bred like that. It was that if I did not obey, if I did not do, if I was not accommodating, I would die. Literally I would die. So of course now my whole base for everything is is death, and I am going to find a way to assist even the smallest, because I don't want that to be in the same space with me.

Speaker 1: 7:35

And I didn't realize how much I was enabling humans around me by doing that. I didn't realize how much I was enabling their behavior, enabling their actions, enabling them the things that I don't maybe necessarily like or agree with. But I was enabling because I could not see, I had blinders on and I was just helping people, always helping helping. There's a difference between being true help and assistance, and being there for a being, versus picking up people's pens when they drop it and I'm not saying don't do that, that's not a kind thing to do. But if you go around picking up every pen that's dropped, you'll never pick up your own space because everybody's dropping pens all the time and that made me like everybody's asking for a chair all the time. And if you go around accommodating all everybody's chair, the big things that you have to do to accommodate for yourself and you never get to Like those are such small, small moments of my time and my life that I thought were not important, but they're pennies in my accounting of my time.

Speaker 1: 8:42

They're pennies, a counting of my time, the pennies and it it forced me to start counting my pennies in every way. So when the urge starts to get and I start to feel myself go into an action of active movement, I stop now and I pause and I go. Is this something that's absolutely necessary for me to be involved in? Is it something that it's it will be a life or death situation if I am involved in? No, it's not. It has nothing to do with you, adela. Sit down, shut up and observe, and that's been. That's my lesson for 2025.

Speaker 1: 9:13

For myself even more, and I've sat down and shut up for a while, but now it's even more observed, it's even more shut up, it's even more sit down, it's even more pause, shift and then act. I am in my shifting perspective, shifting of my PSA, in the actual moving around my whole reality. Right, because my reality is not the same as your reality. It's not the same as my husband's, it's not the same as my friend's, it's not the same as anybody's. Your reality is your reality, it's what you create, and so, for me, I've created a reality of literal life and death in every angle of my life, at every constant which I'm, I'm in, triggered by anything and I'm on edge or anxiety or distress, in every single aspect of my life, and it's unnecessary, it's really, really unnecessary, and all because I have decided to do so, right, and I?

Speaker 1: 10:10

Another thing that I I have mentioned this in the past. Um, I have, I have a teacher, sadhguru and uh, sadhguru Darshan, and he is somebody who I have been listening to and studying for the last three years in my own way, and I hope, I really hope, one day to achieve the level of enlightenment, the level of peace, the level of joy, the level of exuberance and wonderfulness that he has. That he has and maybe I have in some shape or form now, a little sliver of it that I'm building and that I'm working towards, because I can't seem to now shift my mind from the wonderfulness of life, regardless of how the situations or what situation I'm in, or how terrible or how devastating or how like I can't shift my mind from still the beauty of life now and the gift that it is so coming into this 2025, I wanted it to be as clean and as peaceful, joyful and as beautiful and as wonderful as it could potentially be. Because I feel that, I do feel that, and despite the tragedies around me and despite the tsunamis around me and I'm going to use the word reference tsunamis now because I just finished watching the 2004 tsunami disaster that happened in Indonesia and Thailand and all the Pacific and it just oh, maybe I'm wrong now in the Indian Ocean. Don't get me, I'm not good at geography, I just know that. Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, that happened.

Speaker 1: 12:01

And when you think of your life as me just now, like sitting here and and we're having this conversation and out of no way, everything is just gone, gone. What stress, what were like gone, it's gone. It's just wiped, evaporated. Same thing that's happening in all the wars that are going on gone, evaporated. Your small worries, your inability, your anxiety, your stress gone. All of this stuff is gone because your reality has absolutely been obliterated.

Speaker 1: 12:41

And what else do you have left after that? What do you have left you? What do you have left? You have hope, you have faith. Those are not things you can hold on to like physically. Your house is gone, your family's gone, your everything you've ever known gone, wiped gone. And you're still here and know when you're going through it. It's of no consolation, it's of no help at all.

Speaker 1: 13:16

I know when you're going through it. It's of no help, but I also know that we're going through the things because we're designed to go through our life and our realities. We're designed through the things because we're designed to go through our life and our realities. We're designed for the resilience. We're designed for the afterwards. We're designed for the after the disaster. That's what we're designed for. The thing I'm learning is that the disasters and the tragedies that I've had to go through and I'm going to continue to go through because that's life I'm designed for the after them, not for them, but after them. I'm designed to learn through the resilience. Through them, learn strength. Through them, learn, reflect through them, review them and refocus and reshift and reorganize and the whole nine yards of through them, so that I could be on the other end of it.

Speaker 1: 14:11

And so, whatever you're going through right now whether that is a loss of a loved one, whether that is a loss of a job, of a job, a divorce or your own just you're alone and you're trying to navigate and you really haven't lost anything, but you feel like you're losing everything, like something doesn't have to happen for you to feel the way you feel. What if for 2025? What if for 2025? What if for 2025,? You are giving an opportunity to restructure, reorganize, refocus, redesign your whole reality into what you desire, what you want. So all the things that might be happening right before the end of this year, what if they are to give you more life, more blessings.

Speaker 1: 15:16

Of course it's terrible right now. Of course it feels like you are drowning and being slapped by everything and being gut punched by sharp objects, and maybe by a beam, if you will, and the water just never, ever stops and you are absolutely just swirling in this, in this trap where it feels like you can't get out. The waters eventually subside the the, the tornadoes eventually stop spinning, the ground eventually stops shaking, the debris that's left afterwards. That's you and how you pick it up and what you do and what reality you create from. That is going to be a whole new one, has to be a new one. It can't be an old one. There's no way it can be an old one.

Speaker 1: 16:08

So I'm encouraging you to be honest with yourself and to listen to yourself and to understand that you have the position, you have the ability to change everything that you want within within seconds of how you feel, how you function, how to do that. Again, this is coming from adela, who spent her whole life having a tantrum. I have spent my whole life having a tantrum and you can't change how you feel and blah, blah, blah. You absolutely can. I've been, I've been wrong about everything in my life, everything. I knew nothing. I know nothing. I don't know what I've been feeding you, but it ain't been the right thing.

Speaker 1: 16:42

So you may not want to listen now, but if you listening, hopefully you'll gain a little bit of insight and understanding that you, your being itself, is the most important and the gift in this world. And even though that being is being weighed down by a ton of bricks, eventually, I promise you, you gain the strength to get out of it and eventually your foundation of who you are becomes so solid and so strong, then nothing can shake it no tornado, no tsunami, even an earthquake, even an earthquake. Well, maybe an earthquake could swallow you in, but you know, if you're not on the fault line, even an earthquake should not. An earthquake could swallow you in, but you know, if you're not on the fault line, even an earthquake should not be able to shake your foundation. If you've said it right, if you've done a really, really good job in your foundation.

Speaker 1: 17:37

So I want to share with you, uh, something that caught me by surprise, and all of this that I'm talking to you about fighting the tsunami, going through this has been because I've literally have been having to talk to human beings this last couple of days nonstop. Like I said, I've been trying to record this episode for four days now, straight, four days straight. And every time I've gotten on to the phone, call has rang and I pick up the phone. I am the when the phone rings. I pick it up because I know that I don't get a call unless I am needed. Right, I'm really needed as my being and my being's presence to be there for you is needed. I don't get other calls and that's okay. I just have to learn how not to have PTSD when I answer the phone calls now, because either someone's dead, something's happened and I'm just. You know, my anxiety gets out of the out of wax for a little bit. But I'm working on that and one of the ways I'm working on that is, like I said, I have a teacher called Saguru and he has been, he's been phenomenal.

Speaker 1: 18:38

If you haven't listened to his teachings, his books on inner engineering is phenomenal. It's in our books to read and I'll share that with you guys in a second again, I'll share that screen so you can look it up. But he said something yesterday. It was really profound to me and I'm gonna share a part of what he said with you in just a second um, but he said something that was really profound to me.

Speaker 1: 19:02

I stopped celebrating new year's as a new year, uh, about two years ago, three years ago now. Like I just go to sleep and wake up and it's groundhog's day for me. Just same day, different number. And the thing he said yesterday and I was wondering why I stopped celebrating, why I wasn't so keen on happy new year.

Speaker 1: 19:25

It's because the realization for me has come that celebrating new year means that I am celebrating a loss, another year of my life gone. I'm not ready to celebrate that. I am not ready to celebrate that, and so I want to drink the elixir of life, and the elixir of life is water and air, and those are the purest well, as pure and as clean as we can in our time, in ancient day. It is purest and cleanest as it can be. And, just applying to myself, and this thing I want to share with you is you can watch it on YouTube and you can listen to it for yourself, but I really want to share like a minute of something with you, less than that of what he said about being honest with yourself and how I've become honest. Now I'll come to terms of where I'm at today and where I'm going and what I'm doing, and the whole nine yards is. He said this, and so if you take anything away, I want you to take this. Let's see.

Speaker 2: 20:32

Thank you. See, if you do something, at least you don't have to tell lies to yourself. You want to drink poison, like Shiva, you know has he turned blue, he drank poison. You want to drink poison like Shiva, you know has he turned blue, he drank poison. And if you want to drink poison, you drink. It's your choice. After all, it's your life. But don't tell yourself when you're drinking poison. You don't tell yourself I'm drinking amrita or the elixir of life. At least you tell yourself you're drinking poison. And still you want to drink your choice. What can anybody do?

Speaker 1: 21:19

okay, okay, right, listen, drinking poison, drinking things into your life, drinking whatever it is that you're drinking, whether it's me you're taking me in this conversation right now if I'm making you feel negative, or if it's poison, if it's whatever, then you shouldn't be drinking me. I'm not. I'm poison. Right, if you're listening to songs that are creating things that you don't want or the reality that you want and you think that they are the good for you, but it's really not. If you don't, if you listen to the words, or if you're listening to the and the mood isn't what you want it to be, the reality isn't shifting. You're drinking poison. You're lying to yourself. If you are reading books and they're not changing your reality, you are just drinking poison and lying to yourself. And that was what hit me yesterday. It hit me that in the celebrations of New Year's, in the celebrations of new, new, new, new, new, it is all for me. Personally, the way I took it is that it's all poison for me. I've been lying to myself. There's nothing new in a new year, because none of my habits have changed about me, has ever? I have been lying to myself and I have been so gung-ho about you know Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life, and I think rule number eight or three, I don't remember which way they in order that they go, but it was do not lie to lie, do not lie even a little. Do not lie. But I made it do not lie to yourself, because you have to first not lie to yourself before you could ever not be a liar to someone else. And so what? At what level, a minuscule level, are you lying to yourself that you're taking in these things and saying this is good for me, this is good for me, this is good for me, and pretending it is good for you? And yesterday, when I heard that, the thought that came over me was water is the elixir of life, which means that I have to be. I have to drink more water and stop drinking all my other stuff like sweet tea and the coffee is the uptick amount of coffee that I still intake. And um, and the other part was that I have been.

Speaker 1: 23:22

I have my medical card, I have my medical marijuana card. I have had that for a couple years now. It has been my medication and helping me treat my complex ptsd, my anxiety, my depression, my everything right. I don't promote and talk about the medication or in any shape or form that way, on any of my socials or in any of my conversations, unless, like, it's really deemed necessary for me to have a conversation about you with it. But I don't because it's a medication and the way I do and I am trained is I keep my medication to myself and I see if it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't, I change it, and I, you know and do that.

Speaker 1: 23:54

And yesterday, when he said that I remember taking my vape and I was hitting it and I was just walking around the house as I was doing stuff and I was agitated about something, I had to hit it. And he said that right at the time as I was hitting, and he goes. You know, if you want to lie to yourself, poison is poison and if you want that, it's still your choice, adela. And it was like he was talking to me and I've been wanting to wean off my medications for a long time now, just because I don't necessarily need them anymore, which has been great. And it has become more of a habit now and it's become more of, you know, recreational, which fine, I have no problem with that, but I'm also one of those human beings that I'm really, really like.

Speaker 1: 24:34

I am truly striving for the um, the highest level of my conscious existence I can reach. Okay, like I am really striving to be the human that reaches her highest conscious level in this existence, in this physical space and time and form that I have. I am trying so hard to not trying. I am working because I am working. There's no try. It's you either are or aren't working hard to ensure that my body is at its ideal and peak level, because we have mistreated our bodies. I have mistreated my body left and right.

Speaker 1: 25:11

It's never too late, because how amazing is this instrument, this tool of a body that we have? That was one of his teachings is like really getting attuned to your body and understanding what this tool does. And once I recognize that my body is a vessel, it is a tool, and it's got all these little engineering things in them, right, all these panels that go together and work. And there's the lung panel and there's the you know kidney panel and there's the because they talk about all the panels of tests that you know at your doctor's office anyway. So there's all these little panels and they all do something different and they all function different and they're all supposed to work together cohesively to make this big giant machine run.

Speaker 1: 25:54

And once I recognized that and I learned that this is all I had this is it really? This is all I have this physical body became the most important part of my whole structure, whole foundation, because fixing my physical body meant fixing my internal mind, my mind, which is dependent on this body. If I don't have this body, my mind can't act out. If I don't have this body, my mind can't it, it's it just there. And so this body became extremely important. And what we put into it, right, what we intake, how we listen, what we do within that and how we react with it, whether when we're having a moment, are we beating our body down completely to the pulp because we're so frustrated or we're so angry with ourselves or with the situation, or it's like inevitable, like what is happening within us, that we're not being our captain in our own ship, right, we're not controlling it. And I again learning the priority my body was first fix the body, fix the mind, fix the emotion and everything else just flowed. So him reminding me again yesterday that there was nothing new and please listen to the whole of it, because I didn't save the other part of it. I would recommend at least at least listen to some of it.

Speaker 1: 27:23

I think some people will find value. Some will not, but I found quite a bit of value because I'm also there, like I'm also in that I'm. I think that if you can't find one piece of value, like one piece of value in someone's words or someone's lecture or in someone's something, you're not, you're not at the level that you're thinking you are. You're lying to yourself, right. You're feeding your body and your mind poison of the word or of anything else, thinking that you are where you are when you're not. So, being really honest about what your capacity is, where you are and what you're trying to achieve out of something and what you're trying to gain, and if conscious awareness isn't where you're at right now and it's just the physical form, then what I'm sending you, or I'm asking you to read, or I'm asking you to be, and it's not going to help you at all because you're, you won't like it won't hit you like it hit me yesterday. It won't hit you that the new year, that the new year is another year of a loss of your life. Why would I celebrate that? Why would I celebrate the loss of my life, another loss of another year? You celebrate I'm 38 and I'm gaining whoa. I am losing another year of my life.

Speaker 1: 28:26

And he said something else. He said that the time moves. The time never stops. Time is the one constant right and we know this, and it's just a reminder. You can either fight against time. You can either ride the time waves right until you ride and come out to the end of them, you can ride them out or you can completely ignore all of it and just do whatever you want to do. And hearing that made me again I've realized why. You know, two, three years ago I stopped celebrating New Year's that way, I stopped going into it. It's New Year, oh me, new me, new me. There's no new, there's nothing new. There's Groundhog's Day with a different number, same day, different number, same day, different number. But the time never stops. Time just keeps rolling on over and rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling until it runs out of gas.

Speaker 1: 29:20

And in this you know instance, you're the car, time is your fuel and you know the, this body that you have right now and what you're feeding it and what you're putting into it and how you work, maintaining. That is going to be like whether you're putting in the regular, you know what your car needs regular fuel or if you're putting in diesel when it's a regular car. You for my car people you know what I'm talking about. Putting in the wrong car, putting in the wrong fuel, will make your this engine just and it will end the time much shorter and I don't want that. I really don't want that. I'm enjoying this life so much and the more joy I have, as he said to, the more joyful you are, the faster your life goes, but the more miserable you are, the longer it is. And I'm like man and it's true. My life seems so long when I was in misery and despair and stress and anxiety compared to my days fly by so fast.

Speaker 1: 30:13

Right now, I am at seven o'clock. Right now, 7.30 pm, trying to get this podcast done. Don't try and doing, that's the word we're removing from our vocabulary this year, 2025. We're moving, trying, I am doing it, I'm getting it done, but it's 730. I have been nonstop today because today I've just been.

Speaker 1: 30:31

Today I'm in the decision to ride the waves, ride the wave of time and then tomorrow I will wake up and get back on that board again and ride it again until the end of that day and then do it again, and do it again, and do it again, accomplish as much as I can in my day, take off as many things as I can Be there for as many humans as I can, do the best that I can, because I am a mere human being who has no control over anything in any of this space and time. And none of this that I'm doing right now even matters. None of it matters, because in a second it could be swept away and gone. It could be demolished in a second and gone, and my life could stop, just completely cease to exist. My life could cease to exist in this second.

Speaker 1: 31:11

And then what? And then what, when the lights go out? Lights are out, but while you still have the lights on, even if it's cold, even if it's bleak, even if it's miserable, even if it's depressing, and you are lonely and alone, you still have your lights on. Are you kidding me? And that in itself makes you realize that you're not alone. You may feel lonely, but you're not alone, because this life that you have with you, the exuberance of it, the beauty of it, the joy of it, the fulfillment of it is so you can't be alone. I used to think that everything that I was doing, I was just doing all my. I was so lonely, I was so lonely. That's the difference. I was so lonely. I was in such need for companionship, no matter who it was, that I was willing to take anything to be by my side, anything to be by my side when it comes to friendships and relationships. I was willing to take anything to be by my side because I was so lonely, so lonely, so lonely yep, that's me.

Speaker 1: 32:40

That was me. Now, all I do is I, the solitude in my alone time, the when. I look forward to that, oh my goodness. I look forward to my alone time, the time with me, the time to look at me, the time to talk to me, the time to reassess myself, the time to stretch and decompress the time to talk to me, the time to reassess myself, the time to stretch and decompress the time to me. How could I have ever thought I could be lonely? Oh my gosh. There's enough of me for everybody, but there's definitely enough of me for me.

Speaker 1: 33:16

You can't be alone when you see you. You can't be alone when you feel you and when you're with you and when you understand you and when you're willing to work on you. You're never alone Because there's always something that you are bettering within you. There's always something that you are providing to yourself. That does not take away from what you provide to others, that does not take away from what you give to your family and friends. I promise you it does not take away what it does. It only adds more to it. You have more energy. You have more compassion. You have more to give. You just have more room for it. You have more capacity for it because you cleaned yourself up, because you took care of you, because you sat down and said Adela, you know what? What's going on today? We're not doing good today.

Speaker 1: 34:04

Why were you so triggered by every action that your son said? Why did you snap at him? What was going on today that made the experience of this life of today be what it was? Because it wasn't what you wanted, oh man, because when he says something, it sounds just like an excuse, like he's giving me an excuse, and excuses are not what I like. I don't like excuses. Excuses are nothing but butts, just a bunch of asses showing their faces, and I don't like it. Okay, well, adela, your son wasn't trying to show his ass to you. He was trying to tell you something he doesn't understand, okay, but if he does it all the time he's constantly doing it, constantly doing it it's an excuse.

Speaker 1: 34:44

Now, at this point, it should be no, there should be no should. You see how you have to talk yourself through this process so that you recognize there is no should. He was merely making a statement about something. Whether or not you agree with it, whether or not he needs more information, what it doesn't matter. He was merely making a statement. You didn't like the way he said it. You didn't like that. It wasn't done. You didn't, you did not like. Therefore, when you did not like, you snapped. Therefore, when you did not like, your energy shifted into negativity. Therefore, your energy shifted into anxiety. Therefore, your energy shifted into flight or fight. I didn't even recognize it. That just happened.

Speaker 1: 35:26

The reason I'm saying this because that just happened and I had to come up here and I had to sit down and have my moment, have my time, and I realized that, wow, adela, you have a lot more alone time that you need to spend with, and so hopefully, I will do that. Not, I will be, not, I will not. Hopefully, I will be. I will be doing that more. I will be ensuring that I'm providing that safe space for myself in my alone time, in my solitude, and giving that because it's absolutely necessary. I've also learned that the more people I know and the more people I help, the lonelier I become when I'm around a lot of those people, because it's not for me, it's never for me, it's always for them, which is great, which is fine. That's what I'm designed for, but that's what I'm learning for I'm not. I didn't survive this life. I didn't survive everything I've survived. To come to this point for me to depend on anyone else to help me live. I've had to depend on people to help me survive, because that's what we do as a collective, as a human being. Collective, we survive. As an individual, we live, and individually, I want to live my life with as much cohesion and as much peace and as much joy as I potentially have, and I'm the only one who can control that. So I hope that 2025 is.

Speaker 1: 36:40

You look at your foundation, right. You look at your structure. You see where the concrete is cracking and you may have to uproot the whole of your floor, the whole of your concrete, and lay a whole new foundation. It's not what you want, it's not what you hoped for, it's not what you worked for, but it's what's happening. What are you going to do about it? How are you going to shift it? How are you going to act upon it? That's going to bring you benefit, not any more detriment and any more tragedy and any more tragedy again.

Speaker 1: 37:27

I'm saying this as someone who is who's lived and who's walked through the emotional detriment of existence that that is in a, in being human being, the emotion can either be your biggest strength or your biggest downfall. And when we don't understand how to handle that within us or what's happening within us, it's so easy for us to dissociate and deflect from ourselves. I don't want to do that in my life anymore. I really don't. I've dissociated in my life so much that I've missed so many experiences. I've missed so many beautiful humans and beautiful stories and tragedies. Through it all, like, I've missed wonderful, wonderful, great and terrible things because I dissociated from it, because I searched for them to fill me, not for me to just be there.

Speaker 1: 38:16

And if there's anything you can take away from 2025 is to be honest with yourself, to recognize that the realities that you are creating for yourself are the realities you've created. They're either rose-colored glasses or you take off the rose-colored glasses and shatter it all and look at what the reality is. I can't unsee the world from where I'm at now. I cannot unsee it. I cannot unsee the most wonderful exuberance of this existence. I cannot unsee the plane that I am trying to get to. I cannot unsee the level of energy that is between us, between our worlds, between this exist. I cannot unsee it on, feel it on on. I cannot shut it off anymore and I don't want to. Coming to this other side, I now have this overwhelming feeling of absolutely, absolutely just. Nothing can go wrong, even though everything is wrong, like everything is wrong. Uh, everything around me and around my people that I love so much is falling apart. Everything is wrong. It's not how it's supposed to be. This is not the reality we've all worked for. This is not what we created. It's all wrong. It's all wrong, but at the same time, at the same time, it couldn't feel more fitting and right in the time and place where I'm at.

Speaker 1: 39:46

2025 isn't about taking over and taking the garbage in with you. 2025 is about cleaning out your closet, as Eminem would say, and it's about looking at all your cow webs. It's about taking out all the trash that you don't want. It's about saying goodbye to things that you have such sentimental value towards and have. They have no value to you. It's about removing and decluttering everything in your mind, heart, body and soul that's unnecessary for you, and that includes me too. Right, for those of you who are listening to me, you go.

Speaker 1: 40:20

I'm tired of you, adela, and I don't't mean. I'm not saying this, so you get rid of me. I'm just saying, like I I know that there's quite a few humans and quite a few people who have. Again, I'm I'm very fond of the value that I hold and the worth I hold for some people and how much love that they give me, and as Adela itself. But it has nothing to do with that, has everything to do with you as your being. It has everything to do with who you are, what you want, how much hope and joy you can expire from this experience in life. And if that means getting rid of me because I'm not part of it, okay, cool, adios, see you another time. It's nothing personal to me, but it's personal to you. Take care of you, boo. I love you. I wish you nothing but the best. I'll see you on the other side. Hopefully you get there. Talk to me when you are, call me if you need me. Why would I and I used to, I used to Again, I used to so much.

Speaker 1: 41:22

Now, if I am, if I am cut out, or if my situation is not what I planned on, or if everything falls apart around me? It wasn't meant for me in the first place. I was just meant to learn from it. I was meant to be there up until it all fell apart and I was meant to walk away from it with the biggest lesson with more resources than I had in the past, with more knowledge and with the ability to be a changed human being. That's it. So how has your 2024 ended On a shit note? Okay, and 2025 better begin on a highest note of your life because you made a decision that it's going to be and that's it, okay.

Speaker 1: 42:03

If 2024 has ended on shit, then understand that god does not want you to take that shit into 2025 period. He said flush it. He said get rid of it. He said let it all go. It doesn't mean it's not painful. It doesn't mean it doesn't it, it's, it's not or it's easy. It doesn't mean that it's all going to work out and you want to do. It just means you walk forward. You walk forward and now I think I'm understanding.

Speaker 1: 42:29

Now I think I'm understanding what? When um and I'd have to pull my bible out. So please, my, my, my follower, my fellow, you know, worshipers, please don't get me too hurt. But, um, when in the beginning I'm still in the beginning, but when god was coming in to smite the um, smite the people and and I believe it was a please again, wrong, um, I know nothing. I know nothing, but I believe abraham said you know, would you smite everybody if you found one person? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and um, he told um his wife to run. You know, they told him to never look back don't look back, you'd be turned to dust. And she to look back. She was turned to dust. And again, I'm paraphrasing everything, but that's it, that's what's coming to me right now. That's like that's the word.

Speaker 1: 43:19

That's coming to me right now is that if you're looking at 2024, for you to look back on it, as far as looking back on what you have left, you're going to be dust Instead of reflect upon it, reflect upon all how far you've made it to here, grieve what you need to grieve and then move forward, because if you continue to look back, you're continuously losing more of your life. Because the time moves on and the part of us as human beings, we can't seem to understand how we as humans, some of us can move on so fast and can move past a situation or a tragedy or an event or something like past, something monumental, so fast. It's because time moves so fast, something I had to learn. I didn't realize. I didn't realize until just recently that I've gotten really good at that now. I wasn't good at it before at all. I would harp on things, I would I mean, it would eat at me for days, weeks, months, even years. All the while time has gone and I've done nothing with the time that I had. But I was dust while I was looking back at that.

Speaker 1: 44:40

Now I don't even take a think for a second. I don't look back. I did what it done. It was going to move forward. I did what it was done move forward.

Speaker 1: 44:46

I reflect when I sit down. I pause, I go I'll do this better. I'll do this better. I'll move. I'll improve this. This was fine. I'm not looking back anymore.

Speaker 1: 44:56

I can't control how you feel. I can't control how I make you feel. That's on you. I am responsible for my actions and I will continue to be that. I'm responsible for my word. I need to be held accountable for myself. We should hold each other accountable for when we need to be. But at the end of the day, it's someone's responsibility. Pardon me, I'm tired no one's responsibility.

Speaker 1: 45:20

So anyway, I want to leave you off with that. I really, really do want to leave you off with that. I really really do want to leave you off with that. Be honest with yourself. If you're drinking poison, say it's poison, and if that's what you want to continue to do, so then that's on you. But you can't call it and say it's a new year when it's the same shit you've been doing before. There's nothing new about it, it's not a new life. It's not nothing new, refreshing about it. So water is the elixir of life, air is the elixir of life. Drink more water, breathe more air, give your body more grounding and I promise you, I promise you, simple things like that change so much. I want to leave you off with this.

Speaker 1: 46:05

I need you guys to do me a huge favor. I need you to go to our YouTube channel at Project Human Inc. Think Anybody, think YouTubecom slash Project Human, think. Go on there and subscribe. Why Subscribe? Because, one, I said so, but two, because our podcast is doing really, really good. I have a couple of more episodes that I have not uploaded onto our YouTube channel that are on our streaming platform so you can listen to the audio versions at all, but I've been a little bit behind on the YouTube portion of it. So I will be uploading them in the next couple of days so I'll have plenty of content to watch not just listen, but to watch, so you can see this. So, for those of you who are listening, you can watch this, but go subscribe.

Speaker 1: 46:49

I want to reach our subscribers and our listeners. I want to bring that up this year. That's one of my goals for 2025 is to do that and to share us with you more, because I know we're important and I know we're needed. For that, I also want you to go to our website and go and become one of our subscribers Subscribe. So when you pop into our website, it'll say join the Fink community. Put your name, your email and your name and your you know your name in here and we'll get back to you. I promise you I will get back to you. I am one being right now and doing a lot, but we will there. Go, listen to the podcast, see what we've got going on. Become part of our uh think family, because we have a lot of things going on.

Speaker 1: 47:28

I have a lot of plans for 2025. Again, with all god's grace and glory and allowment of the plans that he already has set forth before me and for me. I'm just trying to see where I fit into that and we're going to be making, making big waves, making big announcements. I am very ready for that. I am very, very, very, very, very ready to share that with you and again, to be more in this responsible role as a leader in this community, as a voice, as a face in it. It isn't something I necessarily want to do because I don't want to, but I have a purpose and I have a passion. I can't turn it off and this is my calling. And in order for me to fulfill and be of service, god said this is what I have to do, and so I'm here talking to you. He said sit down, shut up, observe and then talk. So I did that. Now I'm talking and we're doing it. So go like us, go subscribe, go be part of that, go look at our podcast. We're doing really good.

Speaker 1: 48:24

Like I said, you can listen to all of our newest episodes. They're going to be right here. This one will be uploaded right there for you tonight. It'll be available tonight and you can listen to it tonight. First thing tomorrow let's go, and the rest of it is, as we would say, history. So please go listen you you know to the podcast. Go and subscribe to our youtube channel. I want to definitely bring those subscribers up because I know we have a lot of worthy contact and information and a lot of things are happening.

Speaker 1: 48:52

A lot of the foundation of this organization is really important to me. I keep talking about the foundation of the self and the foundation of anything that you want to do outside of yourself cannot sustain itself if you are not strong, if you yourself are not what you need to be. So, whatever goals you have this year, whatever dreams you have this year, I encourage you to work on your being first, work on your foundation, and if you need any help or assistance with that or any kind of, I'm listening. We have plenty of ways to do that. As I mentioned, and I'm going to pop on one more time because I want to show you, define your narrative.

Speaker 1: 49:28

Books for Change are right there Courage to be Dislike, 12 Rules for Life, as I said, self-discipline, extreme Ownership. The Body Keeps the Score. Great books. You can click on any of these. They'll take you straight to our books for change youtube link and you can start now, literally this second. You can start right now, in making a difference in your life right now.

Speaker 1: 49:51

You have to be honest with what you are feeding yourself, what you are drinking, what you are intaking, and just because it's made of the earth does not mean it's good for you. Just because it's made of the earth does not mean it's good for you. Just because it's all been here does not mean it's good for you. Could be it sometimes. Most of the time you are already well, not most of the time, but you already are designed as perfect as you were supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 50:17

We just don't know how to use our instrument that we have. We don't know how to use this tool. We don't know how to use this body. We don't know how to use this tool. We don't know how to use this body. We don't know how to use this mind and we don't know how to use these emotions that we have. We don't know how to do that. So let us help you. Let me help you. I'm here.

Speaker 1: 50:29

Anyway, many, many blessings to you this year, many joys that I hope you gain, but the biggest thing, I hope that you get in this new year of life, in this added year of your life, because you just lost a year of life and you've added another year of life. At least, that's how I think about new years. I'm going to be 38 this year. I've just added a new year of life and I've lost my other one. And if there's one thing I want you to do is, in this new year of your life, in this added year of your life, take the time to make sure that the foundation of your home and I'm talking about your physical body, that is, your home is solid. You are solid, whatever that means for you, however that may mean for you.

Speaker 1: 51:17

You have to figure that out, because I don't know what resources you want to use to lay your foundation. I want concrete and I want steel bars and I want the best of the best. I want no natural disaster to come get me. I want no disaster to come get me because I'm that strong, I'm that resilient, I'm that foolproof. Right Doesn't mean I don't cry Doesn't mean I don't waver Doesn't mean I don't wean Doesn't mean, but I am strong.

Speaker 1: 51:44

So I encourage you to look at your foundation, look at yourself, be honest with it, find all the cracks, start working on them, start working on yourself. It is so worth the effort. You are worth the effort. You're worth the effort and you're worth the time that you have left on this earth to make the reality of your life be exactly as you deem it to be. I hope that that's what 2025 is for you. Thank you all for listening. Thank you for making me a success as much as you have so far and continue to help me grow. Thank you for helping all of us grow here and thank you for being a good human being. Until next time, my friends.