Speaker 1: 0:04

well, hello friends, it's been ages in a day. Welcome back to the artist within podcast. I am your host, adela hitel, and today's episode. I'm super excited to have somebody on uh that I had just before I came back, or I had the accident and went to la and did all the good stuff. So I'm really, really excited to have our William Cook, william P Cook, our director, back on to talk to us about not only this trip that we just took to LA and what our mental health day turned into, because we decided we needed just a moment to you know what express, have a good time and let go of everything.

Speaker 1: 0:46

And we only had a certain amount of hours, a certain amount of time, a certain amount of everything, and we're like, what can we do? And then we did, and then what did it turn into? I can't wait to share with you. And then we're going to be talking to you about the documentary and I cannot wait for you to hear about that too. So so many things are up in the works and, as always, welcome to the podcast. I'm really excited to have you guys here. Let's bring him in, william. Welcome back.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Yo.

Speaker 1: 1:14

Yo.

Speaker 2: 1:14

What's up, adela, yo, what's up.

Speaker 1: 1:17

I mean, I'm here, right, like I'm alive. I'm here, we're breathing, I'm breathing, and what else.

Speaker 2: 1:23

Yeah, you survived a car wreck.

Speaker 1: 1:26

I did, I did, I survived a car wreck. Now I got to survive another wreck. It was scary. But you know what, though God, I swear to you, he said are you ready? And I was like, and I said whatever blessing you have for me next, better be good. That was when it happened.

Speaker 2: 1:50

That's what I said and he said are you ready? Are you ready to advocate and do your job? And I was like sure, and now I am. We never know what can come in, what can come from the mishaps, but typically it's always something it's always something and how you take it and how you move forward to it.

Speaker 1: 1:57

it's all about that and sometimes you have to pause and you have to shift everything and you have to like redo your whole life, and that's okay. That doesn't mean everything stops completely, but some things have to stop and prioritize and, as I always say, that 40 inches your home, where you are with your faith and where you are with God and where you are with yourself, is so important to be able to navigate the world.

Speaker 1: 2:17

because it's really heavy and it's really really ugly in so many places, spaces and times that can reach us at any given second. So how do we navigate it? And I love that we do that through our art and through what we do as it is, and so I'm really, really, really, really, really excited to share all the stuff on there. So, welcome back to the podcast. How about you share a little bit of an update about you and and then we'll get into, and then let's talk about coming out to la. Tell me, tell me your perspective. You know me coming out to la, let's start gotcha.

Speaker 2: 2:51

So you came out in march and we had a wonderful blast. We, we knew we were going to do desert, but past that, like it was just you and me doing what we don't really do, it's just like we're just gonna, we're just gonna wing it, you know, and uh, did I can't remember? Did we decide we were going to do magazines after the fact?

Speaker 1: 3:12

so we yeah, we didn't decide to do anything. I, when I was, when we were there last time, or when I was there in july of last year, I remember talking about how I just wanted to have a creative day while I was here because it was so inspired and I wanted to make a few pieces and then that right and so, and then no, and then when we actually did the shoot, uh, and we got through here when we were doing the shoot, it was like we both needed to just shoot.

Speaker 1: 3:36

I was like we weren't prepared that way, like we were not prepared, you guys, we, we, we were not prepared. We didn't like the pdf file Adela normally has. There was no PDFs here. There was not a single PDF that was done on this one, and so we decided to just get somebody from locally, from LA, right there who could help us out and she was so gracious to show up Angel Marie Strong and she showed up and she you know our model and then we did it and we saw the pictures and I remember the first shots we saw and it was that it was that back shot, the back shot.

Speaker 1: 4:12

It was the back shot. That was the shot that decided we were like we did something that's got to be the back of a magazine cover.

Speaker 2: 4:18

And lo and behold, then we.

Speaker 1: 4:20

A couple hours later, we shot the front cover of a magazine and then we were like, oh my gosh, we have the front and back cover of a magazine like, what if it could be a magazine?

Speaker 1: 4:30

What if, like? And we were thinking about that because I've made magazines for project human before, will has submitted for his work in process before, and we just couldn't help ourselves sitting there going, oh my god, this looks so good, this looks so great. And we then went for it and then when we shot the big piece that I was like I'm gonna push myself as an artist, I'm gonna push myself as a creator, because all my pieces have always been fast and not as, not as oh, excuse me detail, informed in the way I wanted to, but all practice and skills. And that's when I really pushed the limit. I was like, let me try it, let me try. And when we did it and we did the shots and all the fabric and the life, we looked at each other. We're like this is another magazine, this is it, this is it how do we do this?

Speaker 1: 5:16

and and then we did it, and then we submitted, and we crossed our fingers, and then what happened?

Speaker 2: 5:22

then what happened? Well, we got, we got accepted into two different ones pump magazine and kazard magazine from ukraine. Um, and what was really cool too, is each look really had their own unique style, even though they're in the same location, very deserty feeling um, they had their very own aesthetic to it, and so it was very fitting that we did two different magazines. I feel like, um, I love the cover of pump and we're pulling it up right now, you guys.

Speaker 1: 5:57

So here's okay. So here's our pump right now. So our pump shot is this shot right here? For those of you who are watching, who are looking right now, it is. It is stunning.

Speaker 1: 6:08

Um, they did a really great job and you know, what's cool is that I really liked how did both. Both magazines are so different in their style and in their format and the way that they um reach their viewers and and share their stories, and so it's cool to see how they would take our, our work. And again, how cool was it that we did all of these looks and this shot and this like flower coming through, um, this tough background, this like rigid space, but yet so crazy, um, and how long, which even tied to the name that we gave it. Um, and it's really exciting because our, uh, now my, the name, just, I need to go back and look at the name, because the name just what was it? The? Well, yes, the metamorphosis of the whole piece of the video. Oh, the video, you guys, we can't wait to share that with you.

Speaker 1: 7:04

But for this one, it was the delicate vixen, because the idea of a being growing into a self, and especially for women, like my clothes or I design for women's bodies. I love women. I really really love the shape of them. I love how soft they are and then how they contour in different places and just the build that they can provide as a structure for something. And so I think it's just so unique the way that we're made no offense to you, men, but like the way we're made. So when I and the way we move right and the way we move and the way we move is so much different, and when we understand the shape of our body or the, the essence of ourselves, it really, when we put those clothes on or we put these pieces on of art or whatever we do, no matter where we're at, it just adds and amplifies that. And so one of these pieces for that and with with miss angel here, she did all that like in there and through clothes, it all of these moments like just made me also who I am, and so they I really want to give pump magazine a huge shout out on that, because they really wrote an awesome little narrative on us. So for those of you who are in here, I'm going to read just a piece of that, because I didn't write this. This was that.

Speaker 1: 8:23

And Adela, we were asked questions and I answered the questions and that was great. And then they were like self-made, stitch by stitch, and like I was like what? That's awesome, but weaving art, advocacy and emotional truth into a new kind of fashion narrative from this statement is where runway to resilience really like took a full-on turn as why we do what we do. Um, but from this photo shoot and from these magazine submission is where we were like, well, let's now do a fundraiser for project human and create and involve the community and give everybody an opportunity to kind of participate in this experience that we had and will. Will you tell them how long it took us for this shoot, like what we did in the day? Like because most of the times when you're, when you're like setting up a production for a shoot, for magazine submission or for anything, you're taking hours and hours and so much preparation and then so much on set and so much. All that like really quick, tell them about what we did. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 9:36

Yeah, I just want to echo she did such a fantastic job working with us and being so adaptable to all your and not even just all my beautiful gowns, but also all your, uh, because we shot so much and then, and then, my insane of I don't like that move this this way not just the gowns, but like all of Adela. So shout out to you, angel, for really putting up for that. And we, yeah, because we got those sons of shots, yeah, this, this last son to shot, mm-hmm. Okay, and for those of you who are listening, right now I'm showing on the screen and thank you. Thank you for those of you who are watching, by the way, subscribe if you haven't subscribed, but for those of you who are listening, uh, right now we have it on the image, the actual shot of where she looks so like delicate and calm and standing still.

Speaker 1: 11:44

It was like the end piece to the interview and all those clouds around that like that. That was so cold and so cold, you guys. But she did such an amazing job in these moments and captured literally the essence of what I wanted this whole thing to feel, of being growing through just like the most sometimes unbearable, unimaginable situations, and the way that they, that they can flourish and turn into something so beautiful despite the conditions. It like it. She really captured it in this, in this piece, um with the fabrics, in this piece with the fabrics you know, just uncontrollable shaking.

Speaker 2: 12:38

It's not her fault. I need me to go freezing out there, you know, back and arms.

Speaker 1: 12:45

And yeah, she was a real trooper to push through that well, I just realized that for the last couple minutes on the back end of like are my guests seen to. You guys, I have to put in some extra audio because I forgot to unmute you again, because there's four things. I need a producer. You guys, it was just on the ending of the vaccine. I know, welcome to my life, it's okay.

Speaker 2: 13:03

I didn't say anything interesting, it's okay.

Speaker 1: 13:06

No, but I have it on the main screen one, so that's fine, I can just do the audio part of that. That's fine. I have your audio talking over it. I just forgot to unmute that screen because, again, I'm not.

Speaker 2: 13:19

I repeat myself a lot. They're going to get it, that's okay.

Speaker 1: 13:21

You guys will get it in there, they'll re-get it, but you heard it all.

Speaker 1: 13:23

You heard it all. Anyway, for those of you who are listening and those of you who are watching, you'll see it in there too. But yeah, we're really, really, it's really exciting that we got to Pump Magazine this way. So our cover shot was one of the things that we were really excited to shoot with. That like uh, so now the magazine, the kaz magazine, was uh, when we shot the this is our, so I have up right now. I'm pulling this up right now. We have our there, we go and you're unmuted and and we have our. I just have to check you guys now I'm so. It's been two months. I've had a rough month. Two months it's been insane. I'm it's back.

Speaker 2: 14:07

You've been going through a lot Back, but we're back. You're also doing the podcast and you're producing it yourself over there, so it's a lot. You're good. You're good.

Speaker 1: 14:15

It's good, but look at our cast, you guys, our back shot. Tell me when we captured that back shot with the wind and the stillness of it all. This was our first shot. Okay, I was not going to shoot this so really quick, I made this for your film festival in July when I came up for your premiere and this was my 24-hour challenge dress to myself and I was like you know what?

Speaker 1: 14:40

I'm going to make something? I'm going to show up like I own the place and I'm going to show up like Adela does. And I did. And then I brought it and I was like I'm not going to shoot it, I'm not going to shoot it. And it was the first dress we shot and it was our cover, front and back. Tell me about it.

Speaker 2: 14:55

I wish we had some of that. Oh sorry, well, just before we get into that, I wish we had some of those shots from the LA Festival. I was wearing, like the big orange suit you were. You were actually. Yeah, you looked great in that.

Speaker 1: 15:06

Yes, you were. We do somewhere and I think on our other podcast you guys go back and listen to one and I'll put the link or something in there, but I do have of us there at that in this particular dress right now.

Speaker 2: 15:25

that's featured in that dress and that we did that. So that's so exciting. So tell, when we get so the back shot, the that whole dress was super interesting because that was our first dress of the day and, uh, I've done fashion work in photography for you know, know, quite a few years, but now I've had a gap in my, you know, doing it. So this was really like the first thing getting right back into it and I could feel all the gears rusty and moving and turning of my head and then I was like working out of them and everything. And then I was like finally starting to get it. I was like, okay, it's coming back, it's coming back. And then we got that shot and I was like, okay, it's back. And you know, I was like I still had so much more that I wanted to do with it and then we ended up getting the front one.

Speaker 2: 16:11

But I love that shot so much. It's also just it's so funny to me that that was like kind of like my first foray back into fashion and it's on a magazine. You know that's, that's nice. But everything about that dress was so perfect, for the desert too, because, you know, we had the background of the cactuses and there's so much great texture within that dress. That just helps it pop and stand out, but also, you know, help, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Um, it also complements the textures of the desert, so, but because it's all white, it really pops against the greens and the browns yeah, the.

Speaker 1: 16:54

So this was supposed to be a wedding dress for somebody, uh, that I was making a wedding dress for and unfortunately, some things happen. It didn't happen and me being me, I can't like go, things go to waste. And I was like, well, what am I gonna do with this fabric right now? I so, for me, once I select the fabric for the being, we go through a process of that, like that is your fabric and to rip that fabric away from that. Like there's a emotional story and process to it and there's like so much that has gone into this already, like that's why, like, stitch by stitch in the fabric of life, like those things have a much, much deeper meaning to me, because they're woman words and they they create a picture like we just did out of nowhere and the one I have on right now is the is the movement one where she's just on the side and it's so simple and the wind is blowing in the dress and it's my favorite shot of all the shots.

Speaker 1: 17:43

I did it like because it's so simple and, like you said, the simplicity of that and the fact the tones of it complement so much the deserts and again, not planned at all, this like nothing just pulled it. I was like let's just do it and like in my and in my head I was like it'll be our test shot, it'll be our, it'll be our ones that we go through and just kind of throw away if we don't like it. Because whatever, we're both getting back into this, I haven't been in front or back of the camera or on a set like this in three years almost now too, so I'm rusty. I hadn't done a lot of this too. I think the last time I picked up the camera again was when I was with you in July.

Speaker 1: 18:20

So, like I'm rusty too, so it was a lot of rust going on on both end of that and the fact that it's all fitting in there and we did all of this really in those couple of hours of just like let's go movement and the way she moved and the simplicity again in these pieces was just so like there's feeling to it and I was just so like there's feeling to it and I love that and again, that's with life, right, like, think about life. Life is full of feeling and full of experience and full of so many ups and downs and navigations and the fact that your environment and your surroundings and everything else around you may be so hard or desolate or feel so insanely like it was cold as shit and it was rough and I couldn't breathe, y'all okay. Well, tell them about my huffing and puffing.

Speaker 2: 19:09

You're not used to that. You're not used to this california climbing adela so I thought I was in shape.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Okay, this is adela going. I'm in shape. I got this 15 feet y'all okay, 15 feet carrying two bags. I was like, and he's like, are you okay, I'm like dry I'm making it happen literally, and I wasn't giving up.

Speaker 1: 19:31

But it's so dry and like the elevation is so high, so there's so much to it, and again we push through through it all. So, even though all of those moments and and and again we're talking in through creation, right like there's real life moments that people are going through and struggling, even both of us are right now too, on levels we may not show, but we both are- and on different levels too, and then people have that.

Speaker 1: 19:57

The struggle is real for everyone. But how do you move forward? How do you create? How do you build a flower, how do you turn something that into this and like again, we did this with, not without, a thought of like anything after. Just, let's just create, let's see what we can do with a photo and a video and, oh, I want to do verticals. I want to do this, I'm going to take this go will go will go. Have fun. I want to do this, I want to do this. And we didn't even share, like my images and our video stuff.

Speaker 2: 20:21

We've done I was gonna say do you have your photos? Do you have your photos over there? I?

Speaker 1: 20:26

have my photos, yes, um, and, and I will be pulling them up, I will be pulling them up, I will be pulling them up. We have my photos too. But we did so good, and then we shot another outfit in here too, like, um, the one that you guys have seen me wear already a bunch of times, because, again, I promote myself if I really really like it and it's really cool, because we didn't. I didn't expect all the little elements of the purse to work with the flower dress outfit and the movement and everything in there, um, but you know what? Let me ask you what is spirited angel? When we were coming up with these names, spirited angel and, like, um, the delicate vixen, what I know, what we had, we, in the back end of our conversations, but what did they mean to you?

Speaker 2: 21:10

so there was such a sense of softness and elegance about the dresses and the outfits, but angel brings such a strong feminine energy to the images that I love, and so you know, I feel like when we were coming up with the names, we wanted to show case both of that.

Speaker 2: 21:33

You know, a vixen is definitely something that's a bit more um on the edge and a bit more fierce and powerful um, but we said delicate, you know. So it's like showing both of them. You know sides of that and yeah, like I said, and even in her posing, it's just it's very strong, it's very empowering and how she, you know, would just really take ownership of the ground and the space around her. We're having her up on rocks and all this kind of stuff, but even on a rock, where it's difficult to balance and there's wind and she's kind of getting blown around, she's holding a purse and everything, she'd just ground into it and then strike a very fierce pose, but in a dress that was elegant and flowy and, you know, very beautiful. So I think that with the names for me that's what definitely kind of came through was showcasing both sides of that area, you know, and the aesthetic that we were kind of seeing.

Speaker 1: 22:36

I think you and I both saw it, even there on set, as soon as she got on there and on set it was and turned it on, it was, it was on and I both saw it even there on set. As soon as she got on there and on set, it was and turned it on, it was, it was on and I knew it. And what's cool about about it too, is this was her first like intro into a fashion shoot. As far as the big end of that, she does a lot of video work and a lot of work on the front end with music and things like that and she's done other things. But like, really, adela weighs a fashion Let with music and things like that and she's done other things. But like, really, adela, ways of fashion, let's go do this and we're gonna push through all the way and it she delivered like no one's business.

Speaker 1: 23:10

Um, she I mean like looking at the one right now with the black dress, um from pump magazine where our self self-made stitch by stitch, going back to that, um, the weaving author, like that right there with the whole delicacy and the, the delicacy and the vixen of it's like why, as women, there is a fine line of being very overtly like vixen. Is that edge right? It's that edge. There's a fine line of crossing that edge and like staying so demure that you're there's not even reaching the edge, um, I think that our society, for us women this is my personal opinion, but I think we've just jumped off the ledge and like forgot, uh, that we have parachutes and we have other things that we could like stay on the ledge and we can create our way into being that exactly sexiness and class and appeal and mystery and again not just be drop off the ledge real quick like walk off, like a factory made ledge.

Speaker 2: 24:09

So I just I've always, I've, I've always been so of the opinion this sex appeal is has nothing to do with the amount of skin shown at all. It's. It's definitely more so in the energy that you're portraying. And it's kind of funny I feel like so many people don't know how to portray that image, imagery, or portray that confidence. So they resolve to the more just basic, you know, baseline, mundane form of exposure I call it cheating.

Speaker 2: 24:39

Exposure itself I call it cheating. Yeah, I think that you know sexiness and you know is a great term and it is empower, empowering but it's, it's more of a mindset. It really is more of a mindset about how you carry yourself with confidence and how grounded you are as a human I get more compliments when I'm fully dressed than I do when I'm half naked, like I've learned that as growing up.

Speaker 1: 25:01

I'm going into my 40s now and not that far into my 40s, I'm going into 38. I know I have two years, but like those, two years are still grinding well, the way I say this, they're still grinding. Mine works, or they're this way. 40s are harvest years, so I'm going into my harvest years and those harvest years and they're like, in those 40 years I've learned.

Speaker 1: 25:16

I really have learned the, especially these last couple years, to the understanding of what he means to make yourself right, and this is like what our project human is about what we do in there and, um, it's not just a conversation again about, like, the style and what you wear and how you wear. It goes so much deeper into the root of who you are and why your representation of that is what the confidence confidence is in there. And I also do hair. So I just did hair for somebody the other day and she's a young girl, she's in her 20s, she's about 25 or 24, 25, something like that, you know. And young girl did her hair gorgeous. We got her into that and she's very used to again the revelation of her body, the way she works and what she does, and that's what our 25 year olds are and I I'm not that way anymore and you see, how I had to like.

Speaker 1: 26:04

I had to pause for a second or rethink. I was like I'm not that way anymore. I'm not anymore. But I had my experience with that. But it never was comfortable for me either, like I always was. And even though I can make sexy clothes and I can make these pieces that are in there again the idea of how you style them, how you wear them and why you wear these pieces that are in there Again the idea of how you style them, how you wear them and why you wear these pieces the way you do. I pulled out a sweater for her and I was like I have a sweater. This is as low neck as it gets. I was like as low cut as it gets, and you should have seen her spine stand up straight so quick. When she put that on and saw herself and saw this, there was a new sexiness to her. There was a new appeal to her.

Speaker 1: 26:43

There was a new feel to her and she felt it. I felt it like, and I even pointed out, I was like your back is straighter, your, your, your whole being is straighter and you don't need to reveal everything to feel all of this Like do you see how simple and no makeup on nothing, just we, just blue job. But I also am very good at blowing hair and glad we recorded that part.

Speaker 2: 27:15

Well, I had to pause and make sure it was gonna be a good clip, so and uh anyway, but sexy is definitely, almost it's more so what you don't show.

Speaker 1: 27:22

Yes.

Speaker 2: 27:23

Like that's the way I've always thought of it and I know that, really, you know like, fully revealing and everything.

Speaker 2: 27:29

And you know, like, even like with nude photography, like the art form of the actual body. That's its own little art form in and of itself, and I very much appreciate that, that form, because the human body is gorgeous and you know, like we were saying about the female form, there's so much beauty in it with the, just the way y'all shaped differently than dudes, you know, and it's just so much more appealing to everybody and um, but that's its own thing as far as just like, I wouldn't even call that sexy, though no, like that's not what I when I think of sexy, you know, or sensual even, I feel like it's a more proper term, is it again?

Speaker 2: 28:10

yeah, it's, it's what you're not showing, because that really reveals the inner self of that person, and I definitely feel like, as humans, um, you know, on the base level, you may be attracted to the body form of everything, but on the deeper level, all humans are more attracted to the energy that that person is putting out.

Speaker 1: 28:32

That's what makes people appealing exactly, exactly, and I was gonna say, when it comes to art, I've had and I've had this conversation with plenty of models and women in in the industry too about, like, the appeal of naked, oh well, the women's body, and the body is art and absolutely, as we've just said, however, karma on that too, the time and space and how you display that. Also, there's the levels to that too. Nudity is art, like being on that space.

Speaker 1: 28:57

That's fine, it's art, but again, time and space and place for what you did is and what you're doing and displayed in the environments on there.

Speaker 1: 29:02

Just like with everything else, um, and I think that that's what the conversations we don't have when we come to terms of, like mental health, the self, like health in general of the human being, um, and the reason why I want to say that too is because in when pump wrote this little piece about us, you guys I didn't understand, like I I know why we did what we did, like what I do and when will, and I create together and I'm saying and speaking on behalf of him, so you can correct me, but when we create together, it really is a lifeline for the both of us in so many different ways, because when we get together, we do not have to speak, like, literally, we haven't created in five, six years together at the level that we just did, and we showed up on set, didn't speak like a word about anything, we just knew what to do, where to go, how to do it, and it was so flawless, so effortless, so just being in existence of creation, that it it takes away from the weight of actual life and that's what, like, we have the power as human beings to do um right and and like that's what I I think I could, I can speak for you on this, because I know we've even talked about this before.

Speaker 2: 30:09

As far as, like, we love this whole process because it's kind of like what we work for is those four hours you get on set. You know, like that, that's like that's the dopamine hit is like when you're there doing it, like the in-between that. That's like that's the dopamine hit is like when you're there doing it, like the in-between stuff. It's like that's like the work and everything. Yes, like because people go like oh, is this that? That looks like a you know hard day. It's like, no, that was the fun. Like that was the best part, like the, the worst parts, the build up to it the pdf files.

Speaker 1: 30:39

Like no offense, like this is great, we got, we got, like all of that, that's great. We got. Like you know, we got our, we got our submission, we got feature, we're out there, that's great. Yeah, yeah, but our dopamine was the set, it was the desert sets.

Speaker 2: 30:52

There's so much more of a hit, like I'm so happy we got the magazines and everything, but I just, I mean that day in of itself I'm gonna remember so much more. You know, because I don't know like I do agree with you yeah, we don't have to talk on set. It was like we shot last week even though we hadn't worked together in five years, but you know, it didn't even feel like that. But and yeah, we just, we have this great working chemistry of just, I think, style and taste of we know what each other like and don't like and that translates to how we work.

Speaker 2: 31:25

Some of my favorite people to work with, like, um, you know, my one of my best friends, uh, um, antonio josh. He, uh, he worked with me on my film blood money and I actually made the observation recently. I told him I, I said, dude, you realize, I said, over the three days that we worked on that set, I said you and I talked for maybe three minutes on set and I said and you were like my most invaluable person. And I said it's just because, like you and I have that chemistry and the connection of knowing how a film set, and especially with scripted narrative films.

Speaker 2: 31:58

You know, antonio is just so perfect for that and he's so passionate about it and he loves film with all his heart, as much as I do, and he and I have very similar taste styles and we just even though we also have our own different styles, we are in tune with each other's and I noticed that I was I talked to more people on set throughout the day than him, but he was like my most invaluable person on set and that was such an interesting dynamic to me, because it's like it's tough to find that you know that's a very difficult thing to get with certain people and so when you find that you don't want to let it go, you really don't know how I feel exactly now you know how.

Speaker 2: 32:40

I feel about you.

Speaker 1: 32:41

I'm like no, y'all I got that. The number of those people are like on this hand yes sometimes the, the numbers go down but you know, like there's at least a top two or three top three, top two top three, top three, 100.

Speaker 2: 32:57

You know, um, I think that that's such an important aspect about the creative process is the people that you are working with. Um, I mean, I've had opportunities to work with incredibly talented people in an industry, but you don't feel the chemistry yeah, you know, and so it changes the whole dynamic and you may appreciate them and their art and everything, but it's like if y'all don't really link on the same wavelength, it's just kind of like, hey, yeah, I mean great working with them. You know it was fun and all, but it's like I like my people.

Speaker 1: 33:32

I like my kind, let me be clear. And for whoever is going to take that out of context, take it out of context. But the creative kind. For whoever's going to take that out of context, take it out of context. But the creative kind.

Speaker 1: 33:42

But I like my kind of human beings who are, who are not afraid to push the envelope on places and, um, one of the things you and I learned that from our very first day on set, like when you climbed under the underpass, because you're like I see this, I'm gonna push her vision past what she sees and I'm gonna push the envelope myself and then you took the initiative and I was like, damn, that's somebody that's going to go far because he's willing to like and not to make it so, like metaphorically, like he's willing to climb the ridge, but like you were willing to climb literally and underpass to get a shot, while I had people down there who were like I didn't even read your pdf, I didn't even look at it, um, I don't want to do this like I'm not gonna take the shot and I'm a photographer like so many, or I'm not gonna model.

Speaker 1: 34:24

Because I'm a model, like the amount of things that can go wrong on a set on any second, having those humans around or having the team that understands that level of it and goes, uh, that's fine, I can play any role without any silence. You won't even have to know like we didn't feel when we and I mean this is from any kind of work that we've done since then, at least in my perspective and I just love because we also can tell each other when it's not each other's jobs and I need like or you can tell me when I need to step back and he's like it's not your job, go away. And I'm like yes, they're fine. And I love that because we both have this need to also make sure, because we've we've had and had the experiences of not having that dependency of people and knowing that things need to get done and they need to be moved forward and um, and the creative process is also like just as as as fluid in it's like hey, we're just creating and it's fun and expressive does not mean that it does not have a structure right Doesn't have a commitment or a balance to it, there doesn't have a point to it, and even though this was our mental health and we were like, let's go on a nether, let's go do this.

Speaker 1: 35:31

I want to play with my cameras, I want to do this. I want to get back into photography of you know fashion. I want to get back into fashion. I want to do this. Okay, great, let's go. You were like I also want to learn how this is going to look this way.

Speaker 1: 35:44

I also want to learn what this lens is going to do when I do this shot this way. I want to learn what the fabric is going to do when I throw it at this or when it catches, and how much of a harsh weather it's going to be, when I'm like, hey, you can take this to the desert and mess it up and it'll be fine. It wasn't that.

Speaker 1: 35:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you learn, but like you go and learn and you have like. It isn't just about I'm going to go create today. I think that's what I love about what we do, too, is it isn't nothing we've ever created, no matter how small it is, whether it's on an individual level or our own together level, like it's ever been. Not a learning lesson no, not at all.

Speaker 2: 36:23

In every, every process you think there is no perfection in art. You, you're never going to be the epitome of perfection, even if you have all the fame and success and money in the world. If you're a true artist, you know that that means absolutely nothing. The whole point of art is that it will never be perfect. And so you know, you find the things that the marks that you missed along the way, and then you, you know, relearn from that and then move into the next project. And, in my opinion, the quicker you do that, the more rapidly you'll improve as an artist and in your own craft and developing your taste and style. And it's so important for us as artists of any kind Like I don't care if you're like an actual artist in front of the camera or you're the PA in the back, it doesn't matter if you're working within this form, it doesn't matter if you're working within this form understanding the vision of what's happening on a set, on a photo shoot, whatever, of just getting in tune with it. That's our obligation as artists, of diving fully, 100%, mentally, into what that vision is. That's why it's so cool working with people. That's like I already know how to be in sync with them. So I understand the vision.

Speaker 2: 37:44

We've talked about it for 10 minutes, so we already got there and that helps the process so much more, because then you're just moving forward with it. You don't have to keep discussing about vision and style, because now you're just still hanging around here and then you still got to do the production and everything. If you style because now you're just still hanging around here and then you still got to do the production, everything if you can talk about vision, structure and the final, what the final look even is going to feel like, and you know, uh, exude, um. You can move so much further into then the other aspects of everything you know it's like. Okay, well, we already know what the vision's like, so let's start talking about.

Speaker 2: 38:18

You know everything else, the details, what kind of poses are we gonna want to hit? You know like there's so many aspects of any type of art form, whether you're painting to you know photos, fashion, designing, clothing, making a film. There's so many different aspects. So the quicker that you can mentally get into that vision, the more quickly you can start developing all the other aspects of it. But I definitely feel like that's a huge thing that's lost nowadays too, uh, people not fully losing themselves within the creative process. They just show up, they're like very basic.

Speaker 2: 38:54

Oh, it's like this, yeah what can I get for the gram? It's's like oh, is this good enough for the photo, for the? You know internet? Did we shoot it vertical enough to that way? You know there's so much of the art is lost in that and I understand that's the day and age that we live in and we have to adapt to that. But if you really care about your art, you know like, don't just do it for the don't, don't don't just do it for instagram you know, yeah, and make something that is you'll be proud of looking back on, you know, 30 years from now.

Speaker 2: 39:29

You know something that you can look back on, something that might even, you know, still be there and be relevant, because if you, you know, instagram may not be there, you know, 30 years from now. So having your own that's why I love physical forms so much. I have photos hanging up that have done printouts of things, tangible objects. I think that that's an invaluable source of art. I think that's also why art in general is still so valuable.

Speaker 1: 39:59

I think I was going to I'm gonna pinpoint back to you saying, to understanding the vision. I think that when what I've learned from our experiences, understanding the vision is one of the most important parts, because it allows you to adapt to the changes of the process of everything you do like stuff is gonna fall through according to whatever else is in control versus you yeah and you will not have control over it.

Speaker 1: 40:22

You need to be able to adapt and change the vision but still get the same result that you're looking for. Right and like. What does she mean by change the vision but get the same result you're looking for?

Speaker 1: 40:32

because it's not the same right the feeling is the same, like the process of how you're like hey, I want to ensure that the end of this. I don't care for checkmate, for example. We had to change location two hours or two days before shoot. You were flying in or whatever. I called you. I said can we do this? You said yes and you said it won't be the same. I said that's fine, but can we get the heart and the feeling the same? Oh no, we can do that.

Speaker 1: 40:55

Great were there so many mistakes in that, even when we look at it, what we've seen it like the amount of detail, the bags, the same like the amount of things you're like oh the sandbags there, oh the outlet there, oh these little things there. But guess what happened? We did that and we got it done and changed the vision of like or or the process of it, but never changed the heart of what we wanted.

Speaker 1: 41:18

So now when we look back on it, no matter how many years down on it, we're very proud of the process and we're proud of everything that's gone through it, no matter what the challenges were. When we look at that work, we go that was some of our best work at the time. Space place that we could have done with what we had and we pushed the limits and boundaries that most people were willing to do. Wow, okay, kudos to us. What can we do?

Speaker 2: 41:40

now. So some of my favorite, some of my favorite photos and videos and things that I've taken over the years are terrible like on paper, but I know it's funny because I look at them and I go, well, I know that was the absolute best, that I gave my 110% in that moment and I was. I understand it and you can look at it fondly now of you know, because everybody can look at their own work and just go like, ah, this is crap and everything. Of course it is, it should be.

Speaker 1: 42:13

Even just what we just did. What we just did, and I'm like, ah yeah, even what we just did, yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:18

We're like we, we're all you know. You should look at your past work and go, oh, that's crap. You really should, because that just shows you're growing. Then you know if you're. If you're looking back on work and going, yeah, from five years ago, I'm going like, oh, this is so good you haven't moved on much. You haven't moved on, you haven't grown, you haven't pushed yourself. You know like I'm getting to the point, to where it's like when I finished a project. You know, two months after I'm like I'm itching I'm like listen two days after I'm like.

Speaker 2: 42:47

This is yeah, what was?

Speaker 1: 42:48

I thinking, oh okay, how could I make this better? And it's great because, like, listen, some of the work we're just about to release to you guys in the next couple months, what we did for the fashion fundraiser and the involvement and we did like these shots are just some like even some of my best work, to be honest. But I'm like, okay, we can do way better like literally looking at some of my best work, and even will some of his best work and going.

Speaker 1: 43:13

We're both looking at it, going like this is like and our feedback, the feedback we get, is, oh my god, so great, so fantastic. But as an artist and as an individual, we're going to look at each other's work and go. We did great Will. How are we going to make it better?

Speaker 2: 43:27

Yeah, oh, I didn't like this. I didn't like the way I did this, you know, but that's why it's so important. Who was, I can't remember for the life. I wish I knew so I could credit that. But like there was a uh, I want to say it may have been spielberg or something, but it was uh. Basically, uh, film your first film as quickly as possible, because it's going to be your worst. Yep, so just get it out of the way. And there's so much truth in that statement as far as just anything just go and start and finish, like everybody always says.

Speaker 2: 44:04

Just start, like just go ahead and start doing it. But I think more importantly today is just finish too, like get it done and then restart. Just start that, get that mad cycle going of start, finish, start, finish. Because like, the more you keep doing that, the more you keep growing. If you just start and it takes you forever to finish, you're gonna get stuck creatively because, like there's gonna be things at the very beginning of the start that you're gonna forget about, that you wish you had changed and everything. And by the time you get to finish, that's all gonna be a memory and you've grown your life, everything, your philosophies, the way you view things, like it's all going to be a memory and a blur.

Speaker 1: 44:38

And you've changed, you've grown your life, everything your philosophies, the way you view things. It's all changed.

Speaker 1: 44:43

It's not how it started, and, speaking of how long it, takes like our documentary, which we're about to get to, but which, speaking of videos too, I want to see if I can do this right and share with you guys on our website so you can go take a look at it. So you can go take a look at it. Make sure that I'm doing this right and we're going to go to the website, go to the right scene, the right stuff and get out of there you guys Go to our YouTube website Well, not our website, but go to the YouTube page of Project Human and go subscribe.

Speaker 1: 45:16

Thank you to 164 subscribers who are there, who are following, who are loving what we're doing. I appreciate you again because we are here for a long haul. This is our mission, this is my mission forever, and I'm advocating for the arts because it's extremely important. We know that it saves lives, but understanding why art is important, the process of it, is one of the things that we are going to teach you and show you and hopefully be able to impact and change the ways that we view it and, as technology is coming into really relief, relieve I'd like to think of it that way a lot of our hard burdens of work and the things that we have to do. So how do we become more creative in this life and, as a human being, connect to the emotion, which is what we were talking about how that's part of the art that's gone and we're here in the renaissance of bringing it back.

Speaker 1: 45:56

So go to our website, go take a look at it and let me see if I can do this right for those of you who are watching, uh and oh, it might be right. I don't know if you can hear it, but here is let's see if this will do this. Exit full screen. That might not do it that way, um, because it's youtube and doing that, but, uh, I'm going to share with you guys. We did this. This is all the. I think it's sharing and doing that and, if not, you guys, I'm sorry. Oh, you can't hear me now.

Speaker 2: 46:23

Okay, I see now, because now I can't, now I got you.

Speaker 1: 46:26

That's why, okay, all right, because of the of the youtube music thing, anyway, we won't be able to share the whole thing with you guys, but what I want you to do is I want you to go to the youtube channel, because it's youtube, and I want you to go and click and like and watch and do all that share your thoughts on this, because we really did a hard. Okay, will? I didn't do. I mean, I did a hard job, angel did a. Angel did a much harder job.

Speaker 2: 46:47

All I did was in the back fluff and flow, and then we had to ai edit, meow um and oh, oh, the amount of shots we have of the, the desert shot, which is like, uh, you know with the floyd. The amount of shots I have of adela in left frame going like doing a tom cruise run here, like trying to bolt out of the frame in time. It's so hilarious. There was one where you tried hiding behind her, but it's so funny you could just see like your face in between, like the, the. We laughed so hard at some of those.

Speaker 1: 47:21

I'm impossible to hide you, it's the red hair. I try so hard and I try so hard and well, yeah, it definitely is the red hair, but it's also talk about the energy. It just penetrates through everything and, like you can't.

Speaker 1: 47:32

You're like something's there, something like my eye can't get off from that one section. Oh, it's adela, that's what's there. Yes, um, but please go take a, take a look at it, watch the video. We did a uh premiere with it, but this is what we did as our own like little. We wanted to, like I said, have a moment of creation, get back into a space where we both felt something. We've both been struggling in our own lives in different ways, in different spaces and in navigating things in different spaces and in navigating things and understanding things and a lot of that can remove a lot of emotion, a lot of things. So, having humans around you who are willing to show up, do something, create and have that moment, but also create something that feels. Once we saw this it like, and he also, again, as he mentioned, we know each other very well, we really are attuned to each other and the music he chose for this and all the little details, like in the way he did it, that's what makes, like people feel, and that's what makes me feel, that's what makes humans feel, and so I want you to feel we really did do a good job of this.

Speaker 1: 48:36

I'm so proud of it and Angel did a great job job of this. I'm so proud of it, and Angel did a great job and everything is flowing and it's about the. You know it's about it's. It's just about the being. I'm actually I'm actually going to try to play this, but it might mute. You will, so it'll play this, so we're going to pause and see you guys and then, if not, well, there's that, and then we, you know we're going to do that, but I'm going to play this for a second. I want you to see this for like three seconds because it's awesome if it yeah, go ahead and play okay, that's all you're gonna get.

Speaker 1: 49:23

That's all you're gonna get, you guys go watch it.

Speaker 1: 49:25

Go watch it, go like it, go see it. Do you see that back shot that we saw? That's where we got the back shot. That's and the back shot came from that shot. It all has a shot to a shot and it's a shot and we didn't even talk about that. We didn't even talk about it. We were like let's create. So we, we were like let's create.

Speaker 1: 49:41

So we really would appreciate the support if you guys liking that it's some of our best work in again, in the short span, without even thinking we were going to do it, without even thinking we're going to release it, without even thinking we're going to put it together.

Speaker 1: 49:52

And then now we're making it even bigger by involving the community in our local Jacksonville community for creating a fashion fundraiser where we're going to invite our local artists to come and participate, be a part of it as well as our models and just the community members. And if you're a model and you're like, hey, I want to try modeling never been modeled, believe you me, I'm not your Fashion New York Fashion Week at at all. So if you have an interesting look and you have a personality and you want to try it and you have a passion and feel for art. It's going to be as simple as submitting and then I'll let you know, but I'm really really excited about that. So, all because of again somebody having faith in even my vision or wanting to indulge me and entertain me, and will has done that for quite quite a few years now going on, you know, 10 years now almost. Oh, my God, I can't believe it's almost been a decade dude Close.

Speaker 2: 50:46

Yeah, I'm 30 now.

Speaker 1: 50:47

Yeah, we're close to a decade and that's insane. But, speaking of how long art takes and how long it move on, some things you can't move on from and you can't necessarily be like, and you can't necessarily be like it's done and finish it, but you have to be able to be adaptable and change to it, like our documentary. So Will, I'm going to let you take over because, okay, first of all, you guys, that was the whole reason why I was in LA, for Because we are finishing up the documentary this year. It is done and we're very, very excited because it's been years.

Speaker 2: 51:19

We need one more interview, we need one more interview, we need one more interview.

Speaker 1: 51:21

Right, but the whole thing but we're done, we have one more interview.

Speaker 2: 51:24

But we're done. We're in basic post-process, Moving forward. We have like over, well over, 24 hours of footage. You know we're trying to cut down to a 40-minute documentary.

Speaker 2: 51:40

Over the course of we filmed our first film thing, which this is, before we even knew it was going to be a full documentary and this was technically just kind of like a bit of a biography you know project it was a school project, it was back in 2018, um, but once we filmed it like our first initial interview, for that was about an hour, a little over an hour long, and there was so much to unpack within that interview. In fact, actually, on my recent trip to florida, I ended up re-watching that entire interview again on the plane. It was so funny, it was hysterical. I was cracking up, um at how stupid you and I are, um the amount of we were abs. We were absolute idiots. It's kind of funny. I was like watching it and I was like I was like we've changed so much, but we also haven't in so many ways, like you have a great perspective to be able to see us from that growth over the last couple years where we've changed so much so however, not at all our humor.

Speaker 2: 52:49

Our sense of humor has not changed like at all. I'm like we still make that those jokes to this day, like some of the the moments in there, like in between the questions and everything are just so funny. But the doc that was uh, it was originally just an eight minute doc and you know, we realized that there was something more there because of where you were at now and where you were heading, because of your past, and I kind of knew and I could see that like I caught you at like an interesting stage as far as you were just now kind of coming out of this. You you were just you were starting to have this awakening. Yeah, basically, and I was kind of like right there at the time to see this process which was super cool, and we'd done the first initial doc which had gotten all the history and gotten us caught up to a lot of it. And now there was more of the exploratory element of Adela Hittel and going on this journey of trying to figure out about the past, what the future holds and your purpose.

Speaker 2: 54:03

We filmed so many different things and a lot of our creative projects all tie into that because they show so much about where you are artistically and I love that. That's like such a big element of think, you know, expressing one's emotions and feelings through art and it's like, well, yeah, duh, but therapeutically that's. You know, art is therapeutic if you do it right, you really dive into it, and you are, if you're somebody that's really working through something difficult within your life and you just dive into absolutely anything, especially within an art form though music, photography, filmmaking, art, clothing design I always feel like I can do something with your hands. Doing something with your hands, it could be woodworking.

Speaker 1: 54:53

It could be, you know, it could be anything. Literally washing your car is an art form.

Speaker 2: 54:58

Yeah, the act of doing something with your hands. There is something about grabbing something tactile and actually manipulating it and forming it and creating something. It transfers your brain down to here and you get such a sense of pride of going. I did that. I did that by myself and if you start thinking and you know the questions to ask yourself, that will translate. It will translate 100% through here.

Speaker 2: 55:27

And if you're working and it may not be pretty. No, and that may be the point, that may be the point. It's not pretty, like it may be ugly, and let that ugly come out within it, and that's something that you've taught me over the years of you know, it's okay if it's not good, it's okay if it's not pretty, it's okay if it's not pretty, it's okay if it's scary. Even Some of the most beautiful art is scary. It's terrifying Because you can see it was so genuine and you know that artist, you know, felt that amount of pain.

Speaker 2: 56:03

You know Van Gogh cut his own ear off, you know, but his paintings wouldn't really showcase that in a way, and you know he translated his pain and everything differently. I love this aspect of think because I think that art has been lost so much within, especially the United States. It's been taken out of schools, music has not been promoted as much as it needs to be, even sports anymore, and sports in of itself are an art form. I used to do fencing and that is such an art form in of itself I've out.

Speaker 1: 56:38

You've done so much work with fencing and creating fencing like videos and things like that, too, to life is art.

Speaker 2: 56:42

Yeah but it only is if you actually get in it and you get deep within it. And you know, because I I used to coach for fencing a lot and I used to tell my students all the time I said, you know, I show them a video of them fencing and I go like, does this look good? And they'd be like I mean, no, not really. I go good, fencing looks good. And it's so true, and that's just a blanket statement across anything you know, like especially with sports, though you know, you see, like some of the the highest athletes within their fields, they look good doing it. It looks good doing it. It doesn't look sloppy. There's no sport that's at the highest level that looks like it's sloppy it doesn't look like it's very good.

Speaker 1: 57:36

You don't want to do it no it hurts, like fun really about it during the process, unless you know which, unless you love it, because then that's whole. All three of those are fun for you, like it is for us. Yeah, so, but that's the part of the game of sport and like the game of what you do is that none of those things are what you want to do. They hurt they're not, but they look good doing it and we look good doing and making all our mistakes.

Speaker 2: 58:04

That's right. Sorry, I didn't mean to get on the tangent of that, but that is a huge essence of the documentary that we are. That I'm definitely fixated on. Yeah, I almost feel like almost more so than you, because I've gotten to watch this within you now and how you're definitely the outsider looking in, and I also rewatched interview session that we had with your mom and then also aftermath footage of that interview, which is so interesting. The documentary has its own unique form right now, and so I knew it's puzzle pieces that have not been painted yet, which is that's your typical documentary is. You have a bunch of puzzle pieces but there was no picture, so you have to build the puzzle and you have to already know what the picture is going to be without ever knowing what the information is all blank that's right, and then you have to paint it after the puzzle is already built.

Speaker 2: 59:07

It's like it's deconstructing a puzzle. That's what I call documentaries for the most part. But I knew I was going to need a certain list of questions answered and now was like the time to ask them, you know, because I knew we were getting close to the end of this documentary. I can see where you're at, you're, you've come into this next phase within your life. That is definitely closing the chapters that we've opened within the beginning of it. So now is the best time to ask you and that was one of my biggest reasons for my uh trip to florida was for us to have a second to last interview, because I know that there's going to need to be one more, but I wanted to you know, for filmmaking reasons showcase it in two different areas. But I'm so happy with how it's looking because just the I mean just the changes in your hair throughout the years I mean that alone is. You know that's a we talk about.

Speaker 1: 1:00:10

Listen when we talk about multiple personalities and bipolar and like the episodes of like, every like, that is adela in a nutshell of going like sure you can and I say that with all due respect to all the medical professionals who've tried to diagnose me with that but going, I'm just trying to figure out where I am and what I'm going and what I'm doing home navigating. And maybe I want to shave my head, maybe I want to have split hair, maybe I want to have two different eyebrows maybe that's been, that's been.

Speaker 2: 1:00:42

The best part for me is thank you for doing this, by the way, because it's been so easy for me to figure out what year stuff is, because I'm like, oh, this is blue hair, adele, there's like 2018, and then I'm like, oh, bald, adele, we're at 2021.

Speaker 1: 1:00:59

I mean, hey, at least I can help in in some spot.

Speaker 1: 1:01:02

Now I can't help with the continuity, I can't help with making anything like feet Like again, you guys are about to take a roller coaster, which is going to be what's going to be great and fun and exciting, and and that's what I'm really excited about, and what's really great about is that we've this documentary.

Speaker 1: 1:01:20

Sure, showcases me and my triumphs and all that. But the other part of that is that I my whole hope with the documentary and I hope that again I'm speaking on behalf of Will too but our hope is that you get to see the heart of a human and the experience of humanity and the navigations through art with it. And we wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be here with none of this if it wasn't for the community support that we had to put in, like from our gaffers, from our PAs, from the people coming in to actually be my subjects and my test cases, because I'm like I'm trying to figure this out and I don't know what I'm doing and I want to host a huge interview to do a group interview on mental health like no idea what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 1: 1:01:59

and they show up from locations to giving us and donating their locations, um, or even cutting us a discount to be like here. Here you go, let me help you out To food sponsors, to you know people, not even just locally but across the state, like down in Daytona, and you know Iron Horse who like gave us this awesome. We're like, hey, we're going to start a fashion project and a fashion. That's like that's how it started. Fashion documentary and I've got this idea. I had no idea what I'm doing. And fashion documentary and I've got this idea. I have no idea what I'm doing. And here we are now ending it with another fashion piece.

Speaker 1: 1:02:32

but it goes to show you that you're made stitch by stitch and and it's sometimes the stitches can go a little sideways, sometimes they can get a little bit matted out, but you can always un-stitch it and you can always put it back into where. When you look at the place where you were, like I know the good place, I can go back to, like I know where the last good one was, I know where the last good stitch was, I know where the last good solid point is. So let me unravel and you have to unravel in order to be fixed again and we don't look at art that way, we don't.

Speaker 1: 1:02:59

We just look at it like, oh, you made a mistake, now go to hell and die, and you're like no or you made a mistake. You made a mistake. Let's get you medicated, because there's something mentally wrong with you and you're just you can't think for yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:03:10

No, it just we. And I'm not saying there are not those cases, but I'm also saying that part of you, a majority of us, are lost in the idea of where we're at and we hope that this documentary will kind of help navigate you, that you're allowed to take the time and you're allowed to take the process, you're allowed to experience and figure yourself out until you get to a place where you're more strong and stable and understand yourself. And art was that for me, art. It will always be that for me, in whatever form it is. I mean, I told you about, like, how I want the documentary open, like with that one statement of just like I like if I can't create, I can't. Like I'm not living, I'm not breathing, like yeah, yeah and that from the, it's literally my life statement.

Speaker 1: 1:03:49

But yeah, I also believe that god, like, if we think about again or not, I'm a spiritual, I'm, I'm, I'm a believer, I'm, I'm, you know, and so like, if you, whoever those for you or where you're at, I don't care if that's you, but for me that's literally the ultimate gift of christ and of god to be able to have the ability to create something, uh, with a light, with the preciousness of this, like light within us that we get to decide on, that, we get to push through, that, we get to fight that we

Speaker 2: 1:04:15

get to be like I'm better and stronger and more, more valuable than the thought of not and well and I love showing the the you know respect to the therapy realm, but the term therapy has just I'm sorry, in recent years in my opinion it's so turned into just a such one dimensional form of trying to work on yourself and with prescription drugs and I feel like also just validating a lot of people's feelings. There's, I think, of the term therapy. Now, this whole idea of think shows that therapy can be multiple different things and I think that art is definitely a million times more better about it, because it will push you to hurt. It will push you then to be proud of yourself, it will push you to strive against things, it will show you your insecurities and it will show you how to grow past those insecurities if you're willing to take the accountability and actually work on it. If you don't and I feel like a lot of modern therapy there's not a lot of accountability taken and it's more validation as opposed to accountability and people stay stagnant within that and they don't end up working on themselves.

Speaker 2: 1:05:39

And art forces you to work on yourself. It forces you to get better, because you don't want to make something that you don't like. You want to make something that you do like, and what better way to do that than if you keep improving yourself. You want to make something that you do like, and what better way to do that than if you keep improving yourself and you keep soul searching and you keep diving into and that can be, you know, for anybody. I'm, you know, like you, I'm a Christian and I I I come to it from a more faith based you know aspect, and I think that art can connect people in multiple different ways. It doesn't have to be on the spiritual level. That's my choice, that's my belief and that's what works for me. But I find peace within that and I think that art is a huge part of finding peace within oneself from that. But it has to be genuine.

Speaker 1: 1:06:28

It has to be genuine if you're genuine and you understand the impact of it, art leads you to god. And I say this from personal experience because when I started this whole journey and you, you'll, you know, speak to this I was constantly universe, universe, universe, universe, universe, universe, universe. And it's fine, like that's great. That's where I was at, because I was trying to navigate. I knew, I always knew there was a higher power. I always knew there was more to it than that, but the understanding of what God was. I lost my way, understanding of that path, of that, and literally trying to disprove my own thought and my own and everybody else's and disprove that it isn't that.

Speaker 1: 1:07:01

It proved to me that art is God. Art is in the creation of our existence. God is in the rain. God is in the creation of our existence. God is in the rain, god is in the wind, god is in the green grass. God is in this water and this tea and this mug and this converse.

Speaker 1: 1:07:18

But that's again my personal experience and peace in there, and this is how now I know how to navigate this. This is why I've had the consistency again in the same hair color and the same growth and the same thing you really see when you have some structure and stability, when you're not here searching for it through your own expressive character, and when we are and you going back into talking about therapies, I've been fortunate enough this last year to also be in invited into a room full of certified physicians and therapists, whom you know with all due respect of everything, but they don't understand the actual being of a self, of what's happening within the self. They understand the clinical and having to do it the right way and not to push or not to make it uncomfortable, whereas you have, like we're looking to make it uncomfortable and have that conversation and it forces you to do that and you go, go back to you, brought my mom's interview up like I had no idea when I started this consciously at all.

Speaker 1: 1:08:13

Like now I see it. Like now I see that I know what I was doing without even knowing. But I had no idea that taking that on like I, like I could take it or I should take it I was a 15 year old girl, take in a body of a 33, 34 year old woman, taking on a whole traumatic experience and trying to figure out, navigate and thinking I can understand any process of it. It's insane to look at something, but you you get to see that process of your own growth and then you get to say wow but you, you did the work, but it's so, it's so evident that you embraced the pain of it.

Speaker 2: 1:08:48

You know, and I'm very confident in saying that, you know, I think that finding that spiritual connection with God is the best way and I don't have any problem saying that and I don't mind refuting anybody on it at all because it forces you to admit that there is something greater than you and you need that humility and you need that reality check, and that also removes pride and that removes the fact that you know you don't need to worry about yourself and your own image as much, as opposed to what you're putting out there for, for for others. You know that's within the image of God and that there's a higher power that you need to be more respectful to and you need to carry yourself in a better way, because if you just focus on yourself, then you're just going to become an egotistical person for the most part, and it's important to do that work.

Speaker 1: 1:09:44

It's important to be grounded, yes, and it's important to stay um centered within that ideology of I'm doing this for something greater than just myself, but it's also for those around me and I like to say that, like, I've had plenty of opportunities to take, to do it for the better, like for me personally, like my own, and we've talked about this I've had plenty and you've had plenty of opportunities like, but I've had plenty of opportunities and we've talked about this.

Speaker 1: 1:10:07

I've had plenty and you've had plenty of opportunities like but I've had plenty of opportunities where we've skyrocketed either my career skyrocketed, thanks, skyrocketed something and what we're doing, however, being true to who I am, like the truth of myself, this process and making this documentary and working through project human and just living here, making it like the human being, is the most complex part of our existence.

Speaker 1: 1:10:33

Just our existence is so complex that we can't even right so how the hell do we think we can fathom god or any of that complexity when we can't even have a conversation within ourselves or with other people to have that?

Speaker 1: 1:10:44

So to know that it humbles you to a level that you have no control or no understanding over anything that goes on over anybody at any given space, anytime you can speculate, you can assume, you can conversate, you can do all of that, but you still have no idea or control over that. But the thing you do have an idea and control over is your being, because you are your being, and if you don't have that, then that part is that's the homework assignment, that's the part of life, that's understanding it, that's what living is, and if you're struggling in that, then of course, everything else is going to be the struggle for you, and you and I have had both places that we have been challenged this year. Boy has the challenge of 2025 come in on that. And not to say that we haven't gone through the other sides of going like f at all. Fuck it all completely to the end of t. However, you can't say that when you know it's not about you, like it's not about you.

Speaker 1: 1:11:40

It's bigger than you. All of this that you're going through all the struggle, all the pain, all the heart. It's not about you, so you either decide to make it about you or decide that you're going to walk through it with absolute strength, confidence and grace and and humility and humbleness, that there are going to be hard days, they're going to be good days, there's going to be great days. There's going to be ups and downs for forever in every ways.

Speaker 1: 1:12:04

But the thing I can control is how I conceive this, how I do this, and when we started this documentary, when we started that like with you, you showed me that when you asked me and again, nobody had ever asked me to say hey, um, I want to do a little piece on you because I find your story a little bit inspiring. And you were a kid at the time and you know I was. I thought I was a grown woman, I was a child myself, but to have somebody even be hey, I just want to share your story a little bit. I was like who's this, who knows me? And they're going to do this and then to see it, to watch it and to then watch this being grow and evolve and literally go from thinking she's the greatest thing on planet Earth to being put on a whole, like I didn't have nothing to do with me and you know that because I was there, so it's it's.

Speaker 2: 1:12:54

I'm so excited to share that process with people and one thing that I love about the documentary as well. That because, like I said, I watched our entire first interview on the plant and so a lot of the questions that I asked you this year were almost they were like part twos to a lot of the questions I asked the first time and I repeated some of them because I was curious to see how you would answer them now and it was so different. It's so much more. There is such a piece about you within this interview and there's so much more of a certainty of conviction within this new footage that you just did not have. If you compare the two interviews, you're confident. In the first one. It was a false confidence.

Speaker 1: 1:13:48

It's a false confidence. It was a false confidence. It's a front. It was a false confidence. It's a false confidence. It's a false confidence. It's a front. It's a full mask. You can feel it. You can feel it. You can feel it.

Speaker 2: 1:13:58

But in this interview you're like that's a person that's reached serenity, they've come the full circle and it doesn't mean they don't have more to go Right, like you've recognized that. But you've come to peace with the pain. You've come to peace with the pain of. I know what I have to work on, I know my shortcomings and I'm fine with them and I'm doing the work to work through them and I'm not just validating myself of living in this one area. I'm going to keep growing. I'm not looking for validation from other people. It's. It's about my relationship with with christ and god and how I can, because if you could focus on yourself and you could focus on that, that just exudes to other people and that's that's just a beautiful side effect of that process because when you're on the other end, it becomes heaven.

Speaker 1: 1:14:50

Listen, it becomes heaven. I made a post the other day. I was like the easy way out is.

Speaker 1: 1:14:57

We may think like the easy way out is hell the hard way is heaven like, because when you get there, when you go through the heart, like you already know the process that you'll never go back the hard way, like you know way, there's no, ever need to go back to the mountains to climb through them. There's no ever need to go back into the hell that you've been into because you know it. But when you're not willing to walk through it, then you're just like I'm gonna take the easy way out. Oh, I see the fire, but you know what? Uh, I'm just gonna go walk around right over this. It's not my fire, even though I said it. I'm just gonna walk around here like you.

Speaker 1: 1:15:29

That's still your like that fire is still cat, it will forever catch on. But if you're like, nah, damn it, I'm this fire, I'm gonna. I consumed it and we've talked about that. Like I have had the capacity to consume everyone around me with my existence because the fire of it, like I am not a nice being, like I am not, I'm kind, I'm not nice, and I understand that. However, what I've also learned is that I again that part is I have the power to consume everything around me, or to consume it within me and be able to internalize it and figure it out, because it's no one else's. No one else should be burned because of my existence no yeah no one.

Speaker 1: 1:16:09

And that part and that part is hard because then it reminds you that you're the problem in everything in your life, no matter what it is the situation is. You are the problem in how you exist in your life because it's how you've decided you feel and how you've decided to let yourself flow. You may not want to take on that responsibility and that accountability to the fullest, however you are, and then when you're in relationships or in your partnerships or in your creative aspects, whatever that may be, you understand that you will always show up at your best, 100%. There's nothing else you have to worry about, and that's walking with Christ in peace, because then you are not in charge of anybody, anything else. And like your life is in heaven, because no matter what you do, you are good and protected. Like your truth is good.

Speaker 1: 1:16:49

You've done the work you push that through and I never, ever wanted to. Someone once told me adela, you don't walk the walk, you talk. And that was like that hit me in a gut because obviously, if I felt it that deep I wasn't so I was. I don't want to ever feel that or have someone say that to me and I can't say that I did not walk that walk, and for me that also meant shut up and do the walk.

Speaker 1: 1:17:14

And so I shut up and I've been doing the walk and I'm glad, well, and you attract what you put out.

Speaker 2: 1:17:20

Yes, it's that simple too. Yes, if you find out that you're surrounded by a bad group of people look at yourself, then it's you, it's you, it's you.

Speaker 1: 1:17:36

If you're surrounded by people around me that I thought and considered friends or I thought were good people, the moment I changed and switched, every one of them fell off and I was like, oh well, it wasn't them. And again I can say and I'm not saying that they didn't do me wrong, I'm not saying that there was, but it wasn't them they found the appeal into my negativity and wanted to be a part of it and I fueled it and we fueled each other's, and that's what that was and they don't all leave.

Speaker 2: 1:17:58

No, sometimes they level up with you. They do. I've noticed. I sometimes I've noticed that they level up with you and then they come along for the ride as well. And you know that that's it. That's not a prideful thing to to feel, but you should feel a sense of um pride in the fact that you are helping that just by your own actions of inner work, inner strength that encourages other people, and that that energy and that authenticity and that actual realness will speak to people, because people also know when it's fake. People also know when you're. People also know when you're you're BSing them and you're not being real and they read.

Speaker 2: 1:18:42

They read right through that and if you're a person that isn't authentic, that's who you're going to attract is other inauthentic people.

Speaker 1: 1:18:51

Absolutely, and we've spoken this a little while ago too, when we started this and I was like you know what? I'm done with this, I'm done with feeling this way, I don't want this. And then again, the things you say have the power. So if you say you want these things and you want that, you'll get what you say, what you say, but you'll also attract what you feel within, because your words have the power to combine with the feeling. And for me, I wanted structure, I wanted stability. I've talked about that forever. I want peace, like I don't want money, I don't want fame, I don't want glory, I don't want no one, I don't care. That has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 2: 1:19:21

There's nothing to do with any of this, but my structure, who I am and all that like.

Speaker 1: 1:19:26

All of that will come from that, because I'm I am just that strong within that. And so how do you build your being that will be strong enough to withstand everything that's going to come with your family, with, with, with all? It starts with you understanding your demons so that when those demons come and go, hey, let's have a drink. Um, adela, you don't drink anymore, I know that. But let's have a drink because you know. And then I'm like I remember how go. Hey, let's have a drink. Um, adela, you don't drink anymore, I know that. But let's have a drink because you know. And then I'm like I remember how it feels. Let's have a drink knowing fully well what that drink leads to.

Speaker 1: 1:19:55

And again, I'm not saying it against anyone. This could be hey, adela, let's you know what. I know you go to bed at 8 pm and you set your boundaries very, very strong. But I'm in town last minute and you should change all your plans for me, for because I wasn't considerate enough to think of you and let you know that I'm flying in, you know, because I know I have to do that. So let me have you change your mind and I go. No, you can be mad at me all you want, but I again I'm not at, we're not at each other's be that and we don't have that.

Speaker 1: 1:20:21

We want the world's attention. We want the stranger's opinion, the stranger's like for them to think we are something that we're not and you said it yourself. That first interview with me on there is exactly the proof of that is that I wanted people to like me, to me for something I was not. I'm not saying that there's not the essence of Adela still there 100% but the full mask of something else was there too, and so I want, I wanted to take the mask off you.

Speaker 2: 1:21:00

You acknowledged, I think, subtly in that first interview that you were it's very subtle, but you do acknowledge, kind of, the fact that you are wearing a mask and, like I said, it's very subtle how you do that and you also acknowledge the fact that you have a lot to learn and that you kind of didn't know how to go about it even and that's like the beauty of it as well, because it again that just shows the authenticity of going. I don't know, I don't have all the answers, but damn it, I'm gonna figure it out, you know, and I'm gonna do the work and I'm actually going to dig deep within myself.

Speaker 1: 1:21:38

I'm not gonna run away from my responsibility in this life and from what I've decided to do and commit myself to, because I don't feel like something, because and we talk about the feeling and the validation. Listen, guys, I'm all. I'm running an organization for mental emotional health. We have a conversation called, you know, artists. Within we talk about, I mean, we're literally all about the mental health and all that. However, comma and every other exclamation point you can think of your feelings are just that. They're feelings that are you are experiencing life in a space and time, in a moment. They are valid for the moment. They are not the truth of your reality that is the difference they are not the truth of your reality.

Speaker 1: 1:22:22

For your moment, if I'm like, hey, I'm overwhelmed, I'm not feeling good and I need to, okay, dude, that's where you're at.

Speaker 1: 1:22:27

You're not feeling good, okay, cool, that's not your reality, though that's your mind taking and creating a reality that doesn't exist, because that is the power of our own existence is that we get to create the realities that we live within shape with. Again those of you who are going to say, what about poor economics? Like, that's fine, you can go, I'm still saying the same thing it does not matter, because you are in charge of how you're going to determine that life and who you're going to impact and what you're going to do. You have that opportunity and, especially if you're in america, there's not a damn thing you can say to me that you can't, that you're like nothing.

Speaker 1: 1:23:01

So yeah that idea that we are willing to run away because we feel overwhelmed. We feel something, we feel, we feel, we feel, we feel. What about? Um, I feel overwhelmed, but here's how I'm going to prevent that from happening again. I'm not going to let you call me at seven o'clock and say adela, I flew into town and I want to spend time with you, so I'm coming over. No, that puts me in an overwhelmed situation. You're not doing that. I love you, but, um, find another time, have a good one. Oh, I'm gonna rule a relationship. Okay, then the relationship was ruined and we weren't friends at all because you don't respect my boundary or have a conversation. Whether that's your again, that's that's. I'm just saying as a friend, because that happened to me recently. But that's still like. Whether that's a friendship, whether that's your husband, whether that's your wife, whether that's a friendship, whether that's your husband, whether that's your wife, whether that's your brother or sister, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 1:23:51

Human beings are not willing to have that conversation, not willing to be there, willing to run away because they feel like whatever. Well, you can feel all you want. But, at the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 1:24:01

Feelings. Feelings are fleeting and if you chase them, your life, your feelings are fleeting. If you chase them, your life, your yeah feelings are fleeting. If you chase them, your life will just meander. And if you, if you constantly, if you're someone that just chases happiness and the feeling of happiness, you're going to be the saddest person because you know you won't find any peace within that.

Speaker 1: 1:24:23

There's a difference between joy, pure joy of existence, that's living in christ and in life and being here and existing in the space and time regardless of the circumstances. The joy of existence that's living in christ and in life and being here and existing in the space and time regardless of the circumstances. The joy of existence and happiness. You and I chased happiness on that moment of the photo shoot and had a great time. We were so happy. But guess what, after that happiness, it fleeted away. Because guess what we had to do? We had to get back to reality, because that reality was that we had to work.

Speaker 1: 1:24:46

We had to put it together, we had to edit, we had to submit, we had to get yelled at we had to go. Also, we had to go submit it to people to give us criticize us because, by the way, we didn't just go look at this and go these are great. We submitted it to people who actually are experts in the business and know some things and go hey, could you please give us an input and tell us no. And then they go your posing sucks. This could be better. This is great great.

Speaker 1: 1:25:06

This is great and we're like, do we still submit? Yes, okay, like I. But then what did we do? The next one, posing better, this better, this better this better.

Speaker 2: 1:25:17

Exactly Level it up, we level it up.

Speaker 1: 1:25:19

So the idea that you don't want to take the conversation and the criticism or the conversation in there just because you're too scared of a feeling that you might get offended or might get hurt or it might not what you want. That's your, literally your own self deciding that you're not worth the growth of your own existence, and that's a shame.

Speaker 1: 1:25:36

That's an absolute shame and that is very, um, that's very sad to me as a human, because you have so much more potential. So for those of you who are feeling that or in that moment I'm calling you out, um, then decide you're worth the effort and go to work on it, because I promise you I'm not saying it's easy Believe you me, you'll see it, but it's worth it. Look at where we're at. Look at where we're at.

Speaker 2: 1:25:56

No, happiness, especially happiness, is not a constant, it's a gift. In my opinion, Most of life isn't about being well. Pretty much all of life isn't about being well. Pretty much all of life isn't about being happy. It's about learning to I don't want to sound dull, but and it's also just not learning to cope, but it's it's learning about just to find joy within whatever is happening around you. And if you really look on the moments that you are feeling happy and just be grateful for them, you know, but know that it's it's not going to last forever, it's not supposed to. It's not supposed to because also, too, you don't learn that much.

Speaker 2: 1:26:35

You really don't you become very yeah, you become very stagnant? And when you are struggling through times of sorrow, that's the time to learn, and if you really have that mindset, you'll feel way better about yourself and you'll feel way more proud of your work and your work ethic, as opposed to just giving in to the depression and giving in to sadness and just know that happiness will come but it will leave as well.

Speaker 1: 1:27:01

And again, at the end of the day, we shouldn't be looking for the happiness. Understand what joy means and I say that with a capital J from from Bible joy, joy, joy. Understand what joy means to you in the depth of joy, because this life is really joyful if you decide and I'm not saying that it is easy, I'm not saying that it is like not a struggle and that you're not going to feel all of those emotions that we'll just mentioned happiness, sadness and all that. But joy is the ability to hold on to a structure and a peace and a sense of compassion and empathy for yourself at the same time as you do for the world.

Speaker 1: 1:27:34

While it's just like a shit show of human, the amount of human like, literally again, complexity and mistakes and sins and whatever you want to call it. It is happening in this world, because that's what we are. We're literally mere human beings and we do not know what we're doing, even though we think we want to play god, and we're not, and so no let's, you know, let's kind of humble ourselves on that and with that we did a really good job. Hey, will, when do you? Um, when can we expect a trailer for the documentary, because that's exciting we should have something in july.

Speaker 2: 1:28:03

Okay, guys, coming up pretty quick, coming up pretty quick, coming up pretty quick. Um, we're looking to shoot anywhere from around 30 to 40 minute mark, but we're gonna have a little bit easier stuff to show you guys in july, and then some other bigger things later in the year. Um, we're gonna be doing a full film festival run on a lot of this. Uh, probably doing our pickup interview stuff, probably around august. I'm I'm thinking right now um, yeah, it's coming along, it's looking great. I'm, it's a beast, it's. I've worked on a documentary before and this one's a whole other animal and uh, like I said, it's, it's deconstructing a puzzle. It's deconstructing a puzzle without a picture or even on it right now.

Speaker 1: 1:28:50

And we didn't even know, and I didn't even have an idea what my identity was. To give you a picture, I just had one puzzle piece and I said I hope that's enough. And we went scouting for more puzzles and pieces and hope that they'll fit.

Speaker 2: 1:29:02

Originally we thought it was just a canvas with a painting, and then we're like, oh wait, zoom out.

Speaker 1: 1:29:10

oh, that's one puzzle piece oh, and there's like 50 more. Oh okay, oh no, I know it's a thousand piece puzzle and now you only have 30 of them.

Speaker 2: 1:29:15

Good luck right, but I'm I'm super excited about the documentary um it it. It has a lot of heart in it and it's not about being uh, so many documentaries nowadays there's. There's so void of soul, I think. You know, it's like the shot, like movies or something, and this one's just got so much heart in it and it's got so much authenticity of it and I think that that's going to come through in a lot of different ways. I'm very excited about it. So be on the lookout for that.

Speaker 1: 1:29:53

Awesome, all right, and where can everybody find you?

Speaker 2: 1:29:56

I am, regrettably, on social media. I am. I haven't been able to use it enough to lose it yet, but I'm working towards that. But I'm on Instagram at William Phillips Cook. Um, if you want to actually look at my actual work and see what I really do, go check out my website willcookmediacom. Um, I have a short film that's going through the film festival circuit right now. No real news on blood money or anything, still waiting to hear back from festivals, but as soon as I know, be announcing some of that stuff pretty soon. And yeah, that's pretty much it.

Speaker 1: 1:30:32

Awesome, I'm so excited. Well, thank you so much and I will be back you guys with a couple more episodes, with the resilience and updating you with so much more. So until then, enjoy this and please don't forget to like, subscribe, do all the other things that you need to do and then check out, will and follow him and do me the biggest favor. Please make sure you understand that you're worth this effort of this life and the thing that you have to do, because it's hard, it is not easy, but it is worth the effort of navigating to get there. And when you get there on the other end as someone who was as cynical as could be for any of that stuff, yet still was positive, I promise being on that other end is one of the greatest things you could potentially do for yourself and for your future and your family. So I wish you nothing but the best and nothing but love. I will touch base with you in very shortly and until then,