Welcome And Project Human (PHInc.)

Speaker 3 0:08

Hello, my friends. It's your favorite human in the whole world. It's Adela. Welcome to the Artists Within podcast, presented by Project Human Fink, where we explore where we explore the human experience through honest conversation, creative expression, and the stories that shape who we are becoming. I'm your horse, your horse. I'm not your horse. I'm not. I am your host, Adela Hittel, and founder of Project Human Fink, a new way to think about the human experience. We advocate and inform and educate. And we are also the creators, and I am the producer and director of the Define the Narrative documentary project, which is coming out to you shortly in the next year. So please be on the lookout for that. Go support us in that. We would appreciate it. This podcast was created from the belief that every human carries a story. And then when we are given the opportunity and space to speak openly, listen deeply, and move beyond titles, roles, and expectations, we begin to recognize the humanity within one another. In season two of Reflections, we're looking back at the experiences, relationship, challenges, and turning points that have shaped us. And we're also looking at the moments and experiences that experiences that are actually shaping us right now. Together, we reflect on what life has taught us, what we have had to unlearn, what continues to ground us, and how our stories influence the way we show up in the world today. These conversations are not about having all the answers. They're about creating space for truth, vulnerability, wisdom, and the artistry that lives within every human being. I'm really excited about today's guest because I have the opportunity to meet her uh through one of our volunteers and program uh assistant uh creators, uh, Jennifer. And Jen, you guys know her. She does all of our MCCs. And I had the opportunity with her because she said, Hey, I have a friend, Tanya, who is a Zumba instructor. She is also hosted an event. Fink would be great for it. Um, would you love, would you like to go? I was like, of course. I'll show up, I'll do that. And I did, and it was great. And then I get to learn a little bit about her, about what she does and the humans around her and meet some amazing humans who have served our country and who continue to serve it through what they do today and how we interact and how we see human beings and our experiences. And since then, I've you know thought about her. And when we started the resil the run-rate resilience show and what we were gonna do at the end, I was like, who could I ask to, you know, who would I want and hope to be part of the casting call? And you guys know me, I shoot so high for everything that I do that when I get and land where I'm at, I'm landed exactly where I'm supposed to be because, well, it's God's will, not my way. Uh although Adela has a highway that she likes to really write fast. So I land exactly where I'm supposed to be with the humans and creating exactly the will of what it's supposed to be. And that happened to be with Tanya. And she came on and and she submitted and showed up for our casting call, our virtual casting call. I interviewed her, we had a great conversation, and she just inspires me so much. Inspires me as a human being, inspires me as a as a creative in how she processes the world and how she sees movement and dance and her faith and and who she is for those around her and and the pillar of strength that she is. So I'm really, really excited to share space with her today and really honored to know her and again to know humans who are shaping um not just the realities of those around us, but shaping mind every day through a conversation. And so today I am so honored to introduce to you. Let me make sure I get all my stuff, Tanya Jackson. I am gonna bring her on and then I'll give a short intro and bio uh of her, and then we'll get her to say hi to you guys.

Meet Tanya Jackson The Dance Doctor

Speaker 3 4:05

All right, so welcome, Tanya. Uh, this is Tanya Jackson, known as the Dance Doctor. She is a U.S. Navy veteran, dance fitness instructor, fitness trainer, health coach, mother, and an advocate for living confidently with Vitiligo. I say that always wrong. I said it right the first time. I hope I said that right now, too. Her journey has been shaped by military service, family, faith, movement, and the experience of navigating a visible skin condition that changed how the world saw her, and perhaps how she learned to see herself. Through Dance Fitness, Tanya creates spaces where movement becomes more than exercise. It becomes joy, connection, confidence, and a way of returning to oneself. Grounded by meditation, her church community, meaningful relationships, and steadfast faith in God, she approaches life with humility and belief that even difficult experiences can carry purpose. And I definitely vouch for that today for her with especially. Tanya first connected with Project Human through Jen, as I mentioned, um, and then later answered a call for the casting call for Define the Narrative Runway to Resilience, which we're so excited. Also, adding to that, we have the human experience. Shout out to the experience, uh, our venue for that. And today she brings her story to the podcast. So um I'm really excited to for you guys to learn um about the woman and the human who has learned to move visibly, faithfully, and unapologetically herself through the world. Um, so before we get uh get going, uh, is there anything I missed on that introduction? And would you like to add and elaborate on any of that before I ask some deep dive personal questions?

Speaker 5:44

Um, I'm also a fiance. So, but everything else, thank you so much for that lovely introduction.

Speaker 3 5:54

Fiancé, you guys, we have to give her an amazing congratulations because that is so exciting. Union of two humans, a partnership, and the ability to celebrate and create a future for for yourselves and for two people to be in love that way. It's amazing. So, congratulations, my love. I am so so happy for you on that. Can I ask when the date is?

Speaker 6:14

November 9th.

Speaker 3 6:16

Ah, okay, okay. Oh, I'm so excited. We'll have to do a post-podcast on how the wedding was and all that, because my my uh my hair and makeup artist side of me is like, yes, tell me, tell me, you know, tell me, yes.

Growing Up Navy And Always Moving

Speaker 3 6:30

Um, so let me ask you uh before you became a navy veteran, a mother, and a fitness professional and all these amazing things, and now the dance doctor, who was Tanya before, before all of that? Um, and how did movement get introduced to you as a child?

Speaker 6:50

Before before the dance doctor, the veteran, before the pharmacist, before so um I I guess who I was was a military dependent. So I was a military child. So um I my dad was in the Navy, both of my parents were in the Navy. They met in um while they were in the Navy. My mom got up very shortly, and my dad retired, but we moved um throughout my early school years, and um so I feel like that's something that certainly shaped me. It was different. I only have one sister, and it was different for it had a different impact on her than it had on me. Um, once she realized that she wasn't going to have the same friends after a move, then she just stopped making friends and she became more introverted. And although I would be so upset that I was going to lose my friends, um, I just every time we moved, I landed in in the middle of getting more friends, just just getting more friends. And that was really um how the dependent lifestyle um impacted me. And um, I also said that I would never ever go in the military because um that that experience of moving so much and everything, but that's why you never say never. Never say never while I was in college, while I was in pharmacy school, I I found a commissioning program, and it really was something that I gravitated toward because I do I actually do appreciate the order and discipline, and I actually appreciate the moving, the ability to see new things, meet new people, and all that. So it it really, I think that's one of the things that shaped me. And um yeah, I have wonderful parents that are thankfully still living, and a wonderful sister, we're tight um nuclear family, and um we still remain that way even though we're six hours apart each way. Oh wow in the triangle, but we're still very close emotionally.

Speaker 3 9:08

Yeah. Can I ask a question following up on the relationship? You you mentioned something about how you and your sister had two different perspectives of the experiences on the moves and and then grow up. You found it more um easy to make the friends and easier to integrate socially, where she kind of um went in word. How and I assume that you were both raised the same way, you know, not the same, same way, but the same way and the same principles, same beliefs and same values. Um, have you guys had a conversation about that different perspective? Um, and and and what would what what is your view about that perspective? Or what do you think is the difference that she found or you found um in that? And I ask because in my own, now that I'm older and talking to, you know, my siblings and and the way we grew up, and when you look back in so many studies is people can grow in the same household but not experience the same life, right? Or relate even in the same conversation you and I have, um, we'll experience it differently. But in that sibling way, what have you guys had that conversation or thought about that?

Speaker 10:23

Yeah, we kind of do. Um and from my perspective, and you know, from my experiences that shape my perspective, I think it's you know, multifactorial for one, or one, you know, even having children of my own, you real you recognize very readily that every person is a different person and they experience things differently. And um, and there are different influences for how you experience a thing. One, my sister is eight years older than I am, and so she experienced being an only child, and um, and when she moved, going inward was fine because my she had my parents' attention and she enjoyed, you know, it became that she enjoyed reading and she and she drew she draws energy from within, and she's carried that on throughout her life, and and she's very I I find that she's very self-confident and um and effective at decisions, and you know, she she has an appreciation for life from that perspective, and um, and then I came along, and she also was so she was quiet and she liked being quiet, but I came along and I was very different in that. So that's a same thing for my parents. They experienced raising a child quite differently. For one, they had the assistance of my sister, whether reluctant or not at times, but yeah, because she was being eight years older than I am and very mature for her age. Um, and and then I just I kind of demanded more attention than she ever did, and um, I like to eat more than she ever did, and it just gave them a whole different experience on on raising a girl.

Speaker 1 12:20

So I love that.

Speaker 12:22

Yeah. So and then and then and then so that's kind of how I see um I I would say so. If if you're looking, I um do a lot of um personality inventories and all of that. If you're looking at and and for teams for as a leader, I tend to um look toward the group. I want to obtain consensus, and whenever there's a decision to be made, it would be um most ideal for me if if all the um constituents had a say in what the decision is, whereas my sister would prefer to just make the decision and then have people execute.

Speaker 3 13:11

I mean your sister have that same like I try so hard to be the like, let's all make a decision, let's all do that, let's all do that. Um, and then I'm the impatient type because I'm like, well, let's just make a decision and get it done with. And then whenever you figure it out that I was right, let's just move on. And so, like, and nothing personal.

Speaker 13:32

Imagine I know where you would fall in the um disk assessment.

Speaker 2 13:36

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 13:37

100, 100, 100. I love that. And I and I love that you share that perspective on how you have two different personalities of beings growing up um in a household in the same value system, again, same that way, but the two personalities are so different in how they approach their life, how and where they gravitate and and what they do, and um and how those both of them are such a beautiful influence, right? And and even though one might be a little bit more in her, I'm right, strict way, let's move it, it's not that way. She still gets informed and she still finds the difference. She takes the time. It's just she does it in her more private way or her internal way. And whereas you go, okay, well, let's all talk about it. And I try to do that too. I'm like, well, I'm and I'm like, let's all talk about it. And then I lose patience very quickly and I'm like, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm like, let's let's I want to go back and get the decisions and I already talked to four people who already like we figured it out. Like, where is all this? So it's it's beautiful to see that, but like, because that's a that's the dynamic of humanity. Like, we we have that, and how you know, some people might look at it as Discord because well, it's one interpersonal and one extra extrovert, and it's like, no, how about awesomely?

Speaker 14:51

Because this one gets to bring it's harmony, it's harmony, harmony, it's not it's reaching something that's beautiful without striking the same note.

Speaker 3 15:00

So it exam, you know, as I was just seeing, I was just used to the harmony. I was like, I was just seeing that quieter Christian, you know, quieter tempo to that nice beat in there. Like, yes, I love it. I love it. So from there, you you guys grew up. How did you where was the last point you guys landed where you were like, I want to go in the navy, like I want to go into the service, I want to do this. Where was that kind of where what was that point that happened?

Speaker 15:27

Well,

Choosing Pharmacy And Joining The Navy

Speaker 15:28

my dad retired in Pensacola, so that's where um I went to high school. So once that that was the longest I'd lived anywhere when um we got there, I was actually in eighth grade, and so I went to high school, finished middle school, went to high school in Pensacola, and um at the time, so when I was in tenth grade um or no eighth grade. When I was in eighth grade, I went to a a football game, a classic football game between Florida AM and Bethune Cookman. And um, I had just started playing the flute at that point. Well, in seventh grade, I started playing flute and um I saw the band and they were dancing, and it was just amazing to see. It was just something to see, to see the hundred, the Family Marching Band, the Hundred. And I was like, I have to go where they're doing that. I'm just it's just so I decided in eighth grade that I wanted to go to Florida AM, and um, that was just really I never wanted anything else, you know, as far as school. And and then in 10th grade, um, I did not know what I wanted to be. I went to be a teacher, uh computer systems analyst, uh you know, you name it. I wanted to be an astronomer, and I um my parents put me in a program called Mentor in Medicine. Nothing medical though. I never wanted to do anything medical. My mom was a nurse, and I kind of knew I didn't want to do that.

Speaker 3 17:04

Listen, shout out to all our nurses and the nurses who do what they do. Like, listen, this is that's resilience too. Like, that is right there, yes.

Speaker 17:13

On a daily basis, yes, and uh so but I in the program I um shadowed a pharmacist, and so I went to she worked at what's then Eckert, I think CDS bought Eckerd, but then Eckerd. I spent a day with her, and people were going to her, asking her for things and um asking her about medical conditions, things that I thought only people talked to their physicians about, and she was able to help them. And I was I was like, that's what I want to do. I want to be able to help people. I want people to come to me and I want to be able to help people like that. That's amazing. And so from then on I wanted to be a pharmacist. And um, and I did do both of those things. Uh, went to FAMU, even though I had to apply, my parents had I had I had to apply other schools. I never ever intended to go anywhere else.

Speaker 2 18:06

She's like, I'll do what you need me to do, but I know where I'm going.

Speaker 18:09

Like so, but I did. I went to I went into FamU, um, became a pharmacist, and and I had a I had a full scholarship that covered all of my undergraduate tuition and room and board and all of that, but it ran, it would run out when the the classes we took began to be graduate classes. So when they when they became um after after undergraduate, this scholarship didn't cover that. So I was looking for pay ways to finish paying for the rest of my education, and I found that um health services collegiate program that I was in. Um, and it was a it was a competitive program, you had to apply, um and I did get that. And um my job was to finish school, so I enlisted in the in the military, but my job was to finish school, and but I had all the benefits, so I would and got paid as an enlisted person. And then as soon as I graduated, I I was commissioned, and and then I had I only had three years of obligation, but I I stayed a total of um six more years.

Speaker 3 19:25

Um so you did a full nine years of duty.

Speaker 19:28

It total total eight because I had my two of uh the two while I was in school counted toward that. So then I had six after I was commissioned.

Speaker 3 19:38

Okay, okay. Well, thank you so much. First of all, um I said this to you before, and um continuously loudly and proudly say it again. Thank you for your service. Um, thank you for the humans um that you know that serve too, because uh my sister's serving too, and she's serving now, and so is so many of other other humans that we know, and and that is that is a journey, and that is a life that those who sign up for and a sacrifice uh only literally do out of the goodness of genuine goodness of their heart. And I know that some go in because of like they go, oh, you know, they go in because of the financial and all that, like that's yes, we have problems that we go in, but to knowingly go in to know that you are giving up your mind, body, soul to an agency to do at will um for a period of time, for whatever it is, you know, that right there is has to there has to be true goodness of intention of going. Like I know that I'm doing it not just for my own stuff, but like hopefully helping a human being. And um, and and so I thank you. I thank you for that because I don't have the guts to do that. Not that I wouldn't do it, not that I wouldn't on the street right here to what needed to, or if the situation arose, but as someone who survived it once as a civilian of of of that service, um I I I don't have it in me. It's just it's just what that is. I don't have it in me. So I'm very, very grateful for those who do.

Leadership Lessons And Service Identity

Speaker 3 21:12

Um, so how was it you describe your the the the beginning of that? Um how did that that experience, the beginning of the experience coming into the Navy and then moving forward shape you into um something that you still pretty much carry on? It shaped you kind of into who you are today, like a core of you.

Speaker 21:33

Well, um I would say having served and also having been a dependent, that kind of service to country is is is core to who I am and and it had me gravitate actually toward my fiance. He's he's a veteran and retiree of the military and significant, significant combat. Um And so just kind of it it's still having an understanding of veteran status, you know, having an understanding of people whose uh whose life um they they've committed, whether for a short time or for you know a whole retirement time, um is kind of it's it shapes you into having an understanding of other people um that that have done the same. And um so my experience in the Navy as a as a Navy pharmacist beyond being able to travel, so I traveled to I was stationed in Italy where um I was able to travel um Europe a lot. And um and then coming back to Virginia, that's what that's where I got out from being close to what my next passion was was education. So there was a school that was founded by people that taught me when I was in pharmacy school, and it I just I always say that things happen as they should. So I got out there and was able to transition right into being a faculty member, so being an educator within pharmacy. And um the those are some of the movements, but while I was in, I was able to establish a lipid clinic, um, care for patients with cardiovascular diseases, and and it was the first time that that that hospital had had a pharmacist managed clinic, and so I was able to bring that into um that innovation into the naval hospital in in Naples. And um I was I was a leader right away. So I went when I first went in, I was an assisted department head, and that meant that all of the civilian pharmacists reported to me and as a you know fresh babe out of college. That was interesting to have. I have three pharmacists reporting to me that had been pharmacists longer than I had been born, and um it was it was an interesting elevation of my leadership skills to be able to go from them looking at me like a babe and to leading them to leaving there, and then they were requesting that I come back, you know, like I you know, they they missed my leadership and my management of a pharmacy and everything. So I think that that was an elevation that a lot of my classmates wouldn't have had, you know, going straight into um some of the civilian jobs.

Speaker 2 24:50

Yeah.

Speaker 24:50

Um, but uh that and that's where I really became interested in leadership and how it is, how it is impactful to people. So um I think it's shaped me in a lot of ways. I probably could come up with a few more.

Speaker 3 25:07

No, I love it. It it it sounds like that you've and I'm sorry, I'll let you finish uh, but it sounds like your leadership skills again from very early on in your young young childhood to now um have not only led and shaped you, but the leadership of like you seek that structure, you seek that security, you seek that foundation that allows you to thrive, and it shows that number one, it doesn't matter your age, shape, form, size, that you can show up and and do things, but you have to do some things, maybe hard things, in the beginning and surpass a few things. Um or uh it's to me, it was that the word dynamic, the dynamic, it shows the dynam the human being being a dynamic experience of of um them learning about themselves. It sounds also like you in that moment of that leadership through that pharmacy role, you had a moment of going like man, my confidence, I can do this, and then you pushed into where was that next?

Speaker 26:16

Um I was gonna say what else, what how else it got me to where I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, yes. Um

Birth Trauma And Vitiligo Begins

Speaker 26:26

that so both of my children, my oldest children were born in Italy, and um and with my son, I um had a reaction to so in labor with my son, I had a reaction to the morphine in an intrathecal that I really didn't want to get in the first place, but I had a reaction to it, and I bel and um I firmly believe that that insult to my immune system woke up vitiligo, which is an autoimmune disease, and um and not that it gave me vitiligo, but it just woke it up because it was there in my in my DNA, kind of just waiting for for an insult. But um that particular allergic reaction um started it because about six months later the first the first white patches showed up on my arm and then it just kind of spread and um and not knowing what that was. So being in a in a foreign country and um the dermatology, the naval hospital in Naples didn't have dermatology. I had to go out into the um economy and had an Italian dermatologist that actually said that this is not vitiligo, but it um and they gave me some medications, but it continued, and and then I went to um a US a US dermatologist that that diagnosed it as vitiligo and um from there it it did continue to progress. I continued to take treatments, but I was active duty, um, and that was that. And that and the physician that delivered my my son, um I consider that a shaping uh activity in my life because because she just uh she changed that birth experience because she wasn't who I was assigned to. My my physician had um gone on vacation. My son came a week early, and um then we uh so having that and um her uh influencing me to to try to take anesthesia when I wanted to, I wanted to not be offered any medication. I wanted to try to see what I what my body could do. That's and it and she she when I told her that I tried to be all nice and I know you've only been here a little while, you haven't had a chance to read my birth plan, but I didn't want to have any medication offered to me. And she said, Oh, you're one of those. So that was kind of how that whole experience went. But um, she said, if I were I'm gonna I'm going to break your water and it's gonna hurt a hundred times more, so you'll probably want to have anesthesia on board. And I felt, you know, I hadn't delivered any children at that time. And she had, so I said she knows more than I do about it. So I did request it, you know, I I asked them to come, but I went, it was an hour before that they came and I was doing just fine. And um once they came, they're like, um, you know, somebody's gonna get stuck. It might as well be you. So then they gave it to me, and I had I had the reaction and they had to reverse it. So I ended up have not having anything on board anyway, but had that reaction.

Speaker 3 30:06

But that's so the anesthesia didn't work anyway, you is what you mean.

Speaker 30:10

Or because they had to read to reverse it, they they had to try to get, you know, they had to try to um neutralize, basically, neutralize the medication so that it wouldn't be causing the problem that was causing the itching.

Speaker 3 30:26

Oh, okay. So I was gonna ask, so so so you're in the delivery room, and now I'm gonna ask because my brain is at 100 miles an hour. First of all, I wouldn't I would have slapped her silly like 18 times. Like I I this is why I'm not allowed to be in the service that way, and this is why I do what I do because I'm I can't be. I would have. I've kicked I've kicked people before. I understand assault, I get it, but I was assaulted first. So um, yeah, no, that first of all, and also you're in a foreign country, you're there the I'm I'm not I'm sure there was a language like you could speak English in the because it was still that was still the naval hospital.

Speaker 31:02

Okay, so that was still the naval hospitality.

Speaker 3 31:03

Okay, so they also spoke in language, but she was just a she was just a bitch. Okay, so no, I'm I get so I no, I get so because I understand what it was like because I went through a moment in my own pregnancy and I was here and all that stuff, and they try and I was and I literally again I'm I'm mean, I'm not nice. And so I was just not having it with any of them. I was like, you are all I would not so to to be in your situation to to feel that like and I was of course insecure, I was all that stuff, and I almost like died of all the things. It's just to be in that insecure position and to be scoffed at because one because of again the the whole I have experience and I know everything, and I went to school and all these things, which if we've learned anything in the last eight years, no experience is necessary to lie. So, um, so you're in there, you get it, and then so they start to prick you or they prick you, and within the seconds of like giving you that, you start to feel like can you walk me through like what your body is experiencing?

Speaker 32:07

Yes. So within within seconds of so it was a what's called an intrathecal, which is not so an epidural is into your spine area. Yep, I had that. It leaves okay, yeah, it leaves the envelope and catheter. Yep, and but an intrathecal is just one shot, and and it basically should last for like eight hours, so it's just a one one-time shot into the intrathecal space instead of the epidural space, and um, and then it's supposed to exert its um anesthetic effect that way. Um, but within seconds, I began just itching like crazy. And I was like, is it supposed to feel like this? And it just felt like there were a million ants. It was the worst thing ever. And so they gave me Benadryl, they gave me um Narcan, which reverses the morphine to try to stop the effects. Um, and uh they I kept saying that it was, you know, the monitors that go on your stomach. It was like it's these things, you have to get that off because they had them with a hand. And they they felt so bad that they held those on. The they held the monitors without the straps being on. Um, but yeah, it was and and finally I was able to put that out and deliver my son. I it was I still say it was a good experience because I had my son at the end of it.

Speaker 3 33:34

So right, of course, of course. And I'm gonna assume your son is okay and healthy because like your body just went through so much trauma in such a short amount of time. Like, not only, of course, mentally and spiritually, but like birth for a woman and what is it's already traumatic enough. Like, that's already just let's go out of this world. But to add on to that level of medications, the reversals, the knowing, not knowing the ins and outs of everything, and you on there. Um, can I ask you as personally, like what was your like personal thought? Like for you, like yes, the itching, all that stuff, but like you, what did you think in that moment? Like about you or about the situation, like because I I I I would like to think that in that moment somewhere I'm like, I'm going, I like this can't be happening like I'm not creating, this isn't happening. Like, there's a c like some part of you that's like conscious enough to be like having that little maybe conversation with yourself that's like going, wait a minute, like what in the world? Or or am I making it through this? Are we making like so?

Speaker 34:48

I'm trying to go back there, those 20 minutes. I know, I'm sorry, it's just so it's it's just so because some of it I remember like like I can just close my eyes and I I see exactly her the doctor coming in looking like a drawn rat, and I just I just see some of it, but to to inter it's interesting to think exactly how I was feeling at the time, other than um giving birth, you know. I I really I I think that that does say, you know, that that talks about who I am and how all of my experiences have shaped me because I really am thinking about everyone else in the room and who who you know what that what's going on with them and how that that's making them feel. But I rarely think, well, how's that making me feel?

Speaker 3 35:44

Like you pushed yourself completely out of the equation of it and were like, this needs to happen, birth needs to happen, this needs to happen, which again, a lot of and again, the reason why I'm asking because a lot of women and and humans, men and all that stupid, but women in particular genuinely do that in in the most stressful situations and do that not once, not twice, but multiple times in in in and maybe not as heavy as that or as traumatic as that, but in different situations that can still be that way. And they remove themselves completely from the situation, but it still impacts the mind, body, and soul. And then we may not notice that until we're way down, you know, in there where it starts to do that. So again, with what you just impacted you, that caused a whole reaction that potentially, not potentially, that like started to have to question your identity, question who you were, where you've come from, all of that because of a condition that was not of your choosing, not of your want, of an experience, not that you had planned, not that you had prepared for. Um, nothing in the way you had, again, your body, mind, and soul came to an agreement to, and then it was disrupted. So, how did after after you you cut came out of that, you came back, you the patches came the patches started showing up? Um, how did that start to affect your processing of yourself and your identity and moving forward and and navigating this new condition?

Two Selves Behind A Brave Mask

Speaker 37:15

Yeah, so for most of most of the time from the time that it started on my face, like it really wasn't a bothersome thing until it started on my face. And um, and I went through life, and I was still active duty at that time, um thinking that people were looking at me and wondering what's going on, what's wrong with me, and um it's nothing that I could control or nothing that I could, you know, I couldn't wear a sign that said, you know, it's not contagious or or whatever, but it just it it started and it made me feel very ugly though when it started on my face. I I just felt ugly and um I didn't want to look in the mirror for the longest time. So even after I got out of the military and after I um um so after I got out of the military, I started working at the university. Um, a lot of times I had to suppress, so I had to suppress feeling that I didn't want people looking at me just to move just to go out to the store, let alone go and get in front of people and teach something. So there was like two people existing, one that felt a away truly, but then one that had to walk through life anyway, even though they felt that way. So I had it's it was like a mask that I wore that but couldn't wear a mask.

Speaker 3 38:53

Yeah. So when did you start to let me go back before I even when did you start to accept yourself? Let me ask you what was the lowest point for you? Like you have now, I assume is it both children um at this point of where you're progressing with your two oldest were already. Okay. So you're you're that, you are educating, you're present, you're presenting a mask and a persona to the people uh because it's a and it's some it's a mask of resilience. Like it's not just a mask of hey, I'm gonna pretend like like we grew we grew up with fake it till you make it, get it done, and it's over with. This day and age, it's we don't fake anything, we just don't do anything. So um it's just the truth. And but we had to fake it till we make it, and you for yourself had to fake that whole idea of I'm in that sense when it was happening of I'm confident and I can show up and I can put a smile on my face when you grew up and going back to the point of when you grew up with that confidence of leadership and showing up and delivering, which I think carried you into that mask of yourself because it wasn't a mask, it was a part of who you were in the beginning, that being. What was the lowest part uh or moment in that time before you realized that that mask of resilience and showing up, who you were just in there, and like I don't care how you see me became actually an identity part of you that like you recognize as a strength.

Speaker 40:29

Um let's see. I would say so so lowest part certainly would be after my third, after my third child, and um so the most disparate, I would say, is what you're asking me. Yeah. How how how far I was away from you know part of my personality wanting to just disappear. Yes, absolutely. The other part knowing that I have to be out. Um I have children that are active, I that got to, I've got to, they can't be inside and as a hermit with me, so I have to go outside with them. So the farthest was after my youngest was born, and I also was heavy, so it was heavier than I'd ever been, um, almost as heavy as I was when I was pregnant with my um middle one. And um I said, well, at least I can try to lose weight, I can get better. I was already out of the military at the time, um, but I could be better health in health, and that would make me feel better. And I

Walking Into Zumba Despite Fear

Speaker 41:42

tried to go, so I went to the gym, and um I hated all of the aerobic things that you could do. I hated hating spicy, I hated the bicycle. I put I would put a cover up the time with a towel, and um, I'd look a peek, and I was like, you still have 25 minutes. How could this be? So um, but every time I was leaving the gym, there was a Zumba class going on, and um I was like, wow, that looks like fun. Um, but I didn't want anybody looking at me. I'm like, how can I go in there and dance and be in a class and people are gonna look at me? Um, so I kept going past, you know, for probably a few months. And then finally I would, I mean, I'd be looking like a kid.

Speaker 2 42:32

Oh, wow, that looks like I really want to join the playground, but like I'm too scared too cuz. I, you know, somebody said I stink, or something's like because you're in security. Yeah, but you're at the window going, pick me, pick me.

Speaker 42:47

I want to go in there. So finally I did. I I went into the Zumba class, and um no one no one said anything about my skin, no one said anything about me, period. They just embraced me and um and it was so much fun, and I could get rid of that. And and I think that that was the point that I recognized it, recognized that disparity, but it didn't go away, just you know, that initial joining. It didn't, it didn't even go away as I as I increased the enjoyment and that great feeling that Zumba gave me. Um I became an instructor, but even as I became an instructor, it didn't go away that disparity. It was still a few more years after that that um I reconciled those people within myself that that I really was a person that is is confident, and it's not that I don't care what other people think about when they see me. Um it's it's just okay. It's that's on them that. whatever they have, whatever concerns, whatever you know they have that's on them, it's not on me. And I can I can choose to educate them or I can choose to ignore them or I can choose to move about life or whatever. So that that came much later and but it was it was pretty liberating to reconcile those those two people and and then as I a few years after that then I found an organization that um is a support group for Bidiligo and for people with Bidiligo. And at that point I was already not really in need of the support group myself, but I was in need of what impact I had on the on the support group because I hadn't even really considered that people look at me like oh wow she you know she went through all of the stages and she's here and it just didn't even dawn on me until I heard other people's stories and um and how they look at me is um is inspiring to me because it's inspiring to them.

Speaker 3 45:22

So I think you just answered I was gonna say I think you just answered my next question of what was your what has your relationship with your body taught you about self-acceptance and the difference of being looked at and seen and you just you just said it. You just said it so yeah so beautifully through all of that and your acceptance of all of that um and your your the movement now becoming part of your healing journey and part of recognizing your body recognizing yourself um do you remember it and I and I'm sure exactly when you decided you wanted to be an instructor that changed that you were like it this is more than just a moment of me coming in accepting myself being part of this this for me is this is liberating for me and and again I want to now teach others I want to do you have a where because you might have been in a position where you're like I have this path and I have this career path and I have this and I'm in this moment I'm in this moment and you found something within you that's healing a part of you that's helping you navigate how did you have that conversation to switch yourself into that and into that role of not movement and and educating that way. And

Becoming An Instructor And Finding Purpose

Speaker 3 46:36

again that not that your leadership education all that wasn't part of your natural path but a Zumba instructor is a little bit different than being you know a leader in another facility or other places that um that have a more set schedule or have more like this is more of that freedom of expression and and freedom of of an artist of themselves of navigating their own movements.

Speaker 46:59

When did you kind of start to say like I like I know that this is like I'm gonna teach this this is it well I would say so it it happened a year in but um how great I felt so how much that that Zumba that experience of coming in and it being a family and um loving the music and having been inspired by a particular instructor um and I would go wherever she was wherever she was teaching wherever she was having an event I was there I would she was like you know mine moves better than mine and um it just it the way that it made me feel better and it kind of um it bolstered that part of me at that time so I was there was still the part of me that wanted to just disappear that didn't want to go anywhere and and cared what people thought in a way that was devastating. But then what Zumba did was really um shine up and polish up the part that was going to just go out there and do things anyway um despite it and woke up that there's a a way to be dis despite it. And um then my the person that inspired me said you know you should be an instructor you know my you know my dances better than I do sometimes you should be an instructor I was like me an instructor? Yeah okay yeah do it I didn't think very long when she said that it's but that is what made me even think about I I hadn't thought about it before she said that but I didn't think about it long because like yeah I do want to do that.

Speaker 3 48:54

No when you know you know when like when when God tells you and you know it just sometimes takes another human being to see it before you do you might be thinking about it. You might have an inkling that you might be doing this way this way but it takes another to have some faith in you that hey I'm I see you uh you're capable it what we think when we hear that we think that that other human being is supposed to do it for us nowadays whereas where we come from it's like we see that and we go oh okay great thanks for the faith I'm gonna go to work and then you go to work you don't think twice about it and then you're like hey I did it look you said I should be an instructor and I'm an instructor can we like instruct together whereas most people would require potentially or expect that other person that inspired you just a little bit to be part of your whole journey your space and everything and it's like no it's required of you and your really resilience to be like no okay I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do this my way and I'm gonna do this which led you to being the dance doctor so how did that moment turn you into the dance doctor okay so so that was back in um 2012 that I became an instructor and you know made that decision.

Speaker 50:10

And um I I was not super serious about being an instructor I did have some classes here and there um but until about five years in is when um I went to my first Zumba convention which there's a conve I mean there's a convention for everything. There's a convention there's a convention of everything of course there's a Zumba convention is it everybody just Zumba hang all in like one big room like it is the brightest colors that you ever want to see a C of them that ascends on the I might have to go with the next time yeah and hopefully um they have it again soon so they the first one was um I think uh 2010 I think was the first one um and then they had it every year it's always in Orlando um always the same time of year every year up until COVID. Of course and then so it was they didn't have it they but they came up with a virtual way to have it um for two years and then they they resumed and then last year or this year 2026 was the first time they didn't have it at all so they they opted to go for a cruise a Zumba cruise um for this year and then the convention will be in 27 December 27 listen we'll need to make a plan I don't know how much of Zumba I'm doing but I'll come and support you and I want to just experience that light and color you just said like I just want to be a part of that room and see it. It's almost it's it's almost indescribable but um you have people from all over the world so the Zumba is all over the world and so you have people from almost every country on the planet and they come and you speak the same music language and um you take more you take classes to be able to be a better instructor you learn more things all and and there's vendors it's just um it's it it is overwhelming to even people that um draw their energy from everywhere outside it's it's overwhelming how how loud and bright it is and it's a like it's four days it just the regular convention is four days and they have pre-convention things and post-convention things and stuff like that. Hey it's party time for real you want to enjoy life and party and dance like you go to a convention a Zumba convention so at a Zumba convention Dan Starter started coming out well um the that that's when I really became serious about being an instructor and I I went to a different like I went to gym to LA fitness and and auditioned and I got my I got real classes the others were just kind of around town just not real but I had real classes I had people I had I developed classes and um people were following me and um the dance doctor was born probably about 2018 and and that was that was as that the reconciliation was happening as um I not didn't it wasn't that I didn't care it was that I changed my perspective on people looking at me different ways and everything um and I was like I want to have I want to go to events and have these people and I had a a particular group of people that always were with me always followed me and uh it just kind of came to me so I'm um it at first it was Zumba Doctor and I had a crew so I had an operating crew so I there there were shirts and everything and um after so it's it's against licensing to say to put anything with the word Zumba. So Zumba Doctor was not um allowed it wasn't appropriate or allowed so I was like well that's fine because I want to do more than more than Zumba anyway so dance doctor and um one of the other formats is something that I developed um and that was another reason that the Dance Doctor was born because I developed a fitness format that is still waiting to be discovered called um Halflafit. So it's it's a belly dance um fitness program. And um so half half la is party in Arabic and then of course fitness so I put them together Halflafit.

Speaker 3 55:05

I'll take your dumb belly dance class discoverable here I I've always wanted to learn a belly dance for nobody in you guys don't ever watch me I am I have no beat of rhythm okay I'm not like absolutely in my head I think I am the greatest it's just not even close to my body my body and my it does not do not relate it's two different speeds so yeah so what if that would be if if if if if you know if dance were a prescription which I believe so wholeheartedly it should be it is and as someone who has taken her own dance classes in her own room and online with YouTube um it does heal absolutely what do you believe it helps restore so also that so not only the dance doctor but the company or is D DRX fitness so and that's not Dr.

Dance Prescription And Building DRX Fitness

Speaker 55:57

X it's it's DRX. So as a pharmacist it's RX like prescription so and that's it's for dance is the prescription for fitness so and I'm looking at fitness as overall mental health physical health emotional health all of that and dance is the prescription for that and um and that's part of it. It what it was for me is healing and it was like um bringing me to people and wanting to do that for somebody else wanting to inspire someone this the way I was inspired wanting to bring somebody to to understand themselves and liking themselves the way that I was um that's how dance prescription for fitness um came about.

Speaker 3 56:47

Yeah helps restore the identity of the being which restored yours like yeah so how long has so you at as the time that a dance doctor um you started that did you start the company right away um or did you wait a little bit and process it or did you just go like I'm going straight into business I'm gonna do this and for those who are listening to as you if you're thinking of a business idea and doing that um this is a great opportunity for guys to hear too how did you like okay I'm gonna I got this I'm doing this I'm doing this and I'm just gonna go straight into business like I'm gonna do it again. Sometimes we don't think about all the processes but did you go straight into making it your your your official business?

Speaker 57:30

I think it wasn't straight in so between you know chant transitioning from Zumba to dance doctor that was at one point and then really I believe it was COVID as I'm thinking back um having to shut down having to because I went from having three in-person classes of of totally different people at all three of the classes that were relying on me for their you know Zumba fix weekly um to the whole world shut down and immediately I started on Zoom. So I took the same three classes and had them at the same time and was able to get in touch with people and um I had classes on Zoom and then as it became less of a volunteer thing because at first we all did that there's no remuneration for it and um I decided when as it was probably a year in 21 a year into COVID or a year into teaching online then it was like this is something that we need to monetize you know is you you're giving more than an hour is more than an hour because you're putting into what is the classes you got to maintain Zoom all of that so transitioning to receiving um money for it then that's when it became a business so DRX was a business and um and and it helped me to to manage that now that that's income coming and um that was what made it to a business.

Speaker 3 59:15

That's awesome. And now it's been in business where we had 26 five six years now I assume and it's and it's in Jacksonville so you guys need a doctor to um give you a good prescription DRX Fitness is right here with Tanya Jackson because she prescribes dance as a prescription it really does. I as you were talking I was thinking back so the reason I started Project Human for myself even with what I do everything is because I had no one to turn to have a conversation with and everywhere I went to any person I talked to would tell me well Adela you're crazy the experts all of that and one time my therapist was like hey Adela you're paying me $100 an hour to talk literally and I was like I don't like wasting money if I like and everybody tells me to shut up so I'm just gonna create a whole organization where I get to talk all the time however I want but what it did was allow me to experience new things and learn new things and learn perspectives and understand myself and define my narrative and one of the ways that through those conversations was that I realized my body was stuck in such a like a hard traumatic response you know the this is going to sound morbid but in that um uh what is that when people die and they're in that position of like yeah that one. So that's how it felt like it felt like I even though I was living and alive my body felt like that all the time the tension the the all the things the body keeps the score from all of our traumas. And when we don't move it and we don't expand it it it it congests into our hearts and into our throats and into our minds and it just there's no expansion of it. And again fortunate enough to expand with my mouth a lot but the body still didn't do what it needed to do. And I would remember throwing on music it didn't matter what it was like it did not matter but I needed to feel the beat although guys I can't stand beat I needed to feel it but I needed I'm telling you Tanya one day when you see me I need you need you'll see it and through our show and you'll be like Adela I'm gonna teach you like listen my dream is to show up one day in my own show and be like I could dance you guys that's like my dream um because I am no nothing. And so so but I remember that I started to recognize the pattern that as soon as I would put the music on because music is my my healing like if I could listen I could get my mind good but again the body needed movement. And then I would just start wiggling I would just start moving and then for like three years straight I'd wear my headset out and I would be everywhere and just start wiggling and moving. And people thought I was crazy. But I recognized that even though I may not have been able to dance okay the wiggle and the movement was enough to start circulation to start the nervous system recognizing that hey we're not in such a where we have to hide all the time and survive that where our body gets to move our fingers get to flow like there's such energy that's stored in there.

Speaker 1:02:03

Was there a moment for you that you recognize like oh my gosh like now today when you're like hey I can recognize where my body's going into that maybe and maybe that's a terrible description but it just tightens it like makes everything feel so like this whereas when you move and you expand it you just go okay like I can breathe am I making sense oh absolutely and I mean there's there's actually you know studies and scientific evidence that it that it does just all of those things that you said so the the circulation the um even even the interaction with other people doing so you know it it it uh makes a difference and it just uh again when I first began for me it was a a time to just let loose and everybody would had the same kind of thing they they were trying to do the same and nobody was judging you nobody's looking at you they're trying to keep up themselves but um it just it it just opened up and opened up mind um so so yeah I I do see that and and I felt it as a participant and uh try to make sure that the spaces as an instructor are the same way.

Speaker 3 1:03:20

Yeah no experiencing your your um your instruction at the uh at the one event that I was in um was amazing uh I'm still learning to I can I can my movement as much in front of people as a hug that's as much or wiggle in my own way um dancing I still I uh we talk about judgment I will just it'd be like this and then I'll I'll no I'll just step out for a second.

Faith As The Constant Foundation

Speaker 1:03:44

One-on-one though you can go ahead until I'm like but I'm not I'm still working on my shame and judgment on that um I really am then talk about humility right like that goes right in there so through this whole process we've talked about our own resilience our own struggles and our own things that we've had to navigate as the human experience in here but one of the things that I do know about you because it's very important to me too is our faith and how has through all of these trials and tribulations and maybe potentially the trials and tribulations of today how has your faith held you so strong and how has all the things that are happening allowed you to accept the situations again despite of how we feel about them but accept them and be like okay I have to still show up in this because how has that helped you so I think in um in many ways for certain it's not cliche to say that it's always been the rock it's been the the rock the steady the constant through all of the things yeah you know thinking back even through high school you know through through college it wasn't it wasn't easy but I did I made it through and I still always had I had my faith in whether and I consider myself a spiritual person a very spiritual person but not a very religious person.

Speaker 3 1:05:10

Not all about religion and no you won't catch listen you won't yeah you won't catch me I have so many of my humans because I'm new to my faith not new to my faith but new to studying really really reading the Bible and being in the word and understanding right so I'm new to that so I have no room to talk. But the amount of people that are like Adela let's get you to church and I'm like it's not happening. Numb I'm not numb no he died for me to be able to talk to him so thank you so much. Like not that I saw anything wrong with it. I'm working on it I'm learning and I want to I absolutely do we should just just should not be forcing it upon people to have the experience of the relationship with their creator than the one that he has designed for us to have and so it's not you know so just religions in general I have a a a way that I see them and

Speaker 1:06:00

church, you know, places of faith, houses of faith, they have their role too, because, you know, whether I am, you know, attached to one or not, I have the faith, but the place that that does that is part of what help held me at different times was was being part of a church that that provided community. And some and and then the the other thing that I need as far as routine and the culture things like that to to help ground me. That's that's how that part of spirituality has helped. But the in the background is always whether I'm attached to a church or not is is faith and understanding that whatever I'm going through is is for my good and it's go and it's it's for a purpose whether I recognize it as my good or not it's for a purpose and um just navigating life through the purpose is is what it's about. So that that's the faith that has sustained me. And then like I said for for church at times it's provided that that cultural and community connection that that helps reground me.

Speaker 3 1:07:26

Absolutely and again there's a place and space for everything this is not to be it just I know exactly where you're at with like have the experience of relationship the relationship that we have with our father with what we're going on is really our own personal one. And when we come to community when we have this two or more gatherer it is church and when we can think that the humans or brothers and sisters gather to have conversations to work through life to support each other to uplift each other to navigate it to have that moment of like you know to think for the strength of that community and the wisdom of it and and the guidance of it when we're in there versus in what most have in my experience and again this is not all so I'm experien I'm learning to venture out you guys invite me I'll show up but the idea of judgment on how I show up whether I'm in my finest or in my my best or my worst or not like in in and to me that's not what I've learned that that experience of my relationship and what Christ did for us to have that like it's not on that but that's what the experience is for most of us who are lost most of us who have not have found our way yet or our identity is when we go into search for those so again when I speak on it's not you know on the religious it's it's nothing personal it's just the experience. So if when we talk about that we have great humans and great churches that do so much great work that we need that for and um we need to be in support of that because we we need that. But you also need to be reconciled with the idea of knowing that you need to walk the path that is set before you for yourself without having to it's not a need nor a necessity for you to be in a building to have a relationship and to have faith and to be as as devout of a follower for for that for the goodness through all the trials and tribulations um it's just yeah and it's just you know so so it it requires this right here too the moment of togetherness and that one moment of calling up a human being and being like hey I need that moment of conversation I need you to be my church I need you to be my moment I need you to be my wisdom or that guidance. And I I really feel that a lot of us are trying to navigate that that way there now but it's an art and a science that's been lost through the conversation and communication which is why we exist to have these to be able to have that experience and that space to say that our faith requires us to move forward without understanding most of the time of our life and if we don't accept that as part of it and go in I may not understand it but accept it for the goodness of it all and I will navigate it and accept all of it because it has to be better past it. And do you have anything that in your moment space and time you might be wanting to share with someone if they may be navigating a hard

Finding Good And Practicing Gratitude

Speaker 3 1:10:18

time.

Speaker 1:10:18

I don't know how much you're willing to share if you're navigating hard time but if if they're going through it because I do want to ask you a much more personal question of how you met your fiance after that um because that was at the beginning that I was really I was like I want to go in there but I don't want to get into personal yet I want to know her first so if somebody's navigating a hard time and having to maybe not understanding how to accept the unknown of that hard time what might be your your uh dose or your wo your words of wisdom well I try you know I try not to get into words of wisdom per se because who knows but um the way that I try to move move through life period is what I would recommend is seeing situations whatever they may be for uh some kind of good where where is the good look if you have to investigate and look for the good if you do that then the experience is going to be valuable and and and whether it was positive going through it or not it it at least has value. But and and I know and I can only know that it is hard to do that in many situations. So like if you're given if you're if you're diagnosed with something that seems so contrary to how you've lived your life and how how um anybody in your family and how you are it it has to be disorienting. Yes it has to be disorienting and have you have to question well how did that happen and why is it happening to me and um I say experience that experience that moment of of questioning of anger of blame whatever um but move through it as quickly as you can to find something to be thankful about. And if you find a thing to be thankful about focus on those things because whether they're small or large they're there focus on those things and focus on what you have not what you have not then it makes it easier to move through life in general because if you're focusing on what you regret if you're focusing on what you don't have or what you want so bad that you can't get then that keeps you in a very negative space. But if you turn your attention to what you do have because you have something you woke up right if you're if you're if you're able to I woke up and I have bread yeah you woke up so you're thankful if you can be thankful for that thankful for be the ability to walk if you have it thankful for the ability to roll if you have that thankful just find something to be thankful for and always be looking for the good then you'll you look you find what you look for.

Speaker 3 1:13:30

Yes so he says ask and it shall be received and look for it and it will and if you're asked I understand again our trials and tribulations but if you're asking for the good and seeing for the good even in the worst of it you will see the good of it a lot faster. And a lot of times guys too when we talk about how did our faith get us here how do we focus on the thankfulness how did you do it how are you doing it as Tony just mentioned it's literally as waking up every single day and repeating maybe for like a year the same exact thing. I'm thankful for my breath I'm thankful for waking up thank you God for another opportunity to do better do better. That could be your whole thankfulness for the day for everything that you're doing for a year the same exact one. It could be the simplest of thank you for the for my feet that like she said it could be the simplest thing that you're thanking over and over until you realize how how actual how how blessing and valuable that thing that you're being so thankful for, so small it is to your life when compared to someone else not being able to have it not having movement not having experience not having thought not having freedom the idea of us again those I was literally thinking on my way today and this is so crazy because I was talking about it I'm I'm now finishing the chosen um the show and in my moments of again the gratitudes and stuff and when I couldn't even think of anything to be grateful for and I survived so much and all that to going saying to myself years ago going I never want the ordinary and mundane ever to being here going like it's all about the ordinary and mundane it is like literally all about the ordinary and mundane moments of your life and I've but like I was like I don't want them that's not who I am I am blah like oh girl and God said and I was driving picking my son up right before coming to here and having to get him because he was sick and all like so like all these moments and you're going you know God it it thank you for my ordinary mundane of picking my kid up of school and being like this and getting my cup of coffee and like the and then my grandfather's when I was 18 going to visit him back home in Europe and again no understanding of anything as we sat down in the morning early mornings drinking and he's thanking his prayer and he's doing this and I'm like rushing what are we gonna do what are we going to do what are gonna he goes Adela we're gonna drink this tea and we're gonna be thankful for the tea and we're gonna be and today as I was driving I was like thank you for the tea like the ordinary and mundane moments of our life that most humans might not even get to experience and it's like we do how blessing. So then anything else we do whether we go dance or teach or have a conversation or create something or have a show it doesn't matter that's literally a cherry on top to the fact that you woke up and got to experience the ordinary and mundane moment. Like it it just so I want to ask you how does your um how did you meet your fiance and how did he propose because I've been married now for 20 years and I'm I just celebrated 18 years we celebrated we've been together for 20 years and we got married on our couch in flannels white shirts with two people on our sides and one person no picture no nothing and that was ours. So and he proposed while I was sick with tissues so it was nothing romantic but we lasted 20 years now so tell me how did he how did you meet and how did he propose?

Speaker 1:16:48

Okay

Meeting Her Fiancé And The Proposal

Speaker 1:16:49

so how we met um was at a a birthday party that he was sharing with um a friend of mine that was a Zumba student of mine. And so although it was a joint party I only knew her and so I can't I had a gift for her I was coming for her and then um it was nice to meet him you know where's my gift he still doesn't let me live that one down that I didn't have a gift for him.

Speaker 2 1:17:16

You know mine doesn't let me live down the fact that I didn't give him a hug when I didn't know him and I gave my friend a hug how was I supposed to know they were best friends and like friends what was my like how am I I get it I get it yeah I hadn't heard of you so I how am I gonna get you a gift so anyway but um yeah so uh and he was quite intrigued by me and and he says he's he still to this day thinks I have an accent.

Speaker 1:17:45

So he was trying to figure out where I was from and just to you know who I was and what is she what is she so all of that he spent the evening like that and I spent the evening playing games and um and being loud and laughing and he was drawn to my laugh um and my long appendages reaching over the table for the the game that I brought but um that's that's how we met and then he then he the way he got my phone number was um saying that he could he knew somebody that he that could patent the game that I brought because it was just something very very simple and it didn't have a name it was something me and my kids did and he was he was we were gonna work together to get it patent.

Speaker 3 1:18:32

He was like he said I just gotta get this girl's number and see like look she ain't gonna enter she's not gonna talk to me about anything if it's not business so let me try to see what I can do. So and how and so and then you guys how long have you been together now um three going on four so three and a half years.

Speaker 1:18:50

Okay and he proposed when and how he proposed at um he proposed July 13th of last year 25 and um it was at the day before the day before my birthday yeah that's crazy good time um it was he was um he it was a nice romantic dinner but before that he had said that we we just we need to go out more we have you know we haven't done that in a while and um and and we still didn't there there's life is always life issues so um he was like okay well um we're finally gonna go we're gonna go to this dinner and went to chop house 13 which is the same place he took me for my birthday and um I should have known all along I should have known but I wasn't really in that head space at the time um I should have known because we got there there were rose petals on the table and I was like oh look at him really being romantic you know he you know and and this waiter again I should have known waiters and people at a restaurant were coming by and I was like congratulations and um and somebody said happy anniversary and he was like no we're just you know it's just a dinner and um and another person came by I was like wait a minute is it our anniversary like you know am I missing something because the what people were doing and so we we ate and we enjoyed the company and um and then he I went to the restroom came back and he went to the restroom which he didn't but he went out to the car that we had driven together in and I didn't even know that he had put a ring in there he went and got um that from the car and met the waiter gave it to him and um he came back from the restroom in regular time you know and uh and then with dessert oh also I should have known the waiter because it was the same server we had when um it was my birthday and um I said oh you know how about that he's like oh look at this I haven't seen you guys since what is it February March he played it so well like I was like wow he remembered us wow he's really good at his job and so I found ways to explain everything that was around but he brought the he brought the nice pretty bag with the dessert and I was like wait a minute I don't I don't have gifts gifts coming from and then he went all into how he loved me very much and he's pulling out the ring and um he wanted to spend the rest of my life and I'm I'm going what wait this is not happening there's gonna be earrings in that he's messing with me there's gonna be earrings in that box he's messing with me and then it was an actual ring and I was like you serious and it was I said yes of Chris what about him is is a thing that you you for yourself not just for your kids and the structure and the family and everyone else what about him do you value the most that he brings to you what I what he brings to me is he enhances what I think are the best parts of me supports and enhances the best parts of me and allows them to come and shine so that's um what's most valuable and he makes and he makes me very organized things have to be in order so but that that I think is the greatest value he he supports and and appreciates when I shine the best parts of me.

Speaker 3 1:22:56

I love that I love that makes you feel secure and safe to do so too yeah that's amazing that's amazing um it we've talked about you being a human that holds everyone up and doing all that is there a community that you have outside of Zumba too that holds you up that supports you through your trials and tribulations um because yes we have those outside but that interior maybe support system someone may not have do you have some and um do you want to say anything to them for for the support that they provided you and I I'm I like to say I'm thankful for my tribe you know so my parents and and my children so my parents especially through everything that that that they've go through as they age and everything they they still are genuinely the most supportive and um kind and thoughtful people and um they they maintain a distant support structure for me.

Speaker 1:24:08

And then my fiance what even with whatever he's going through he is you know supportive of me and wants to see what's going on with me. And even though he says that's just so that I could be there to take care of him. But anyway and then my children and they round it out. So um even though they look to me for some things they they have grown to be the oldest two have grown to be adults that that I admire and um and and they don't even know how much they provide support for me um in in being the great humans that they have turned out to be. So I would call that my real um my in inner structural support system.

Speaker 3 1:25:02

I love that it's hard to find the navigation between having those strong like you said nuclear family um homes and and foundations that despite everything that you know they're there for you and that support with kindness, compassion love and grace and mercy um through it all too and that your children get to be there with you too when you see them and um that you feel that joy through

Support Systems And Asking For Help

Speaker 3 1:25:27

them.

Speaker 1:25:27

I want to have one more question before I I wrap up and see where people can find you and do that because we could talk for hours and um I'm sure you have places to go but I wanted to ask you when someone's navigating and going through how would one go about asking for potentially help or if maybe not asking showing that they need help I think that the the quick most significant step toward that is acknowledging that you need help. So if you acknowledge to yourself that you need help then then it is more readily available to see that somebody's there to help you. So if you if you know you need help then you just take the step to the closest person that is there you don't have to they don't have to have the answer even but they can provide you help by getting you in the right place where you do need to be to get the help. So the closest person to you once you realize you need help ask ask for them and then that's where your help will come from.

Speaker 3 1:26:36

Absolutely and sometimes the closest person doesn't have delicate provide answers but they can hold space um and most of the time a human doesn't need us to talk at them through them with them and they need someone to hold their being while they're navigating what is actually happening within them before they can even express it or um be a part of having any semblance of what's happening in reality and not have to worry about how one that they reach out to sees them, um perceives them, receives them all of the things that after they come out of their stance that they can go, hey, I don't even know and the other being can go I was just here dude how where where are you at? What what can I be? That that moment of just holding space for that safety and structure for a human is so important. So when she mentioned acknowledge it acknowledge it's very important and then reach out and for that when you get that reach out okay this is the part where we need to step up as advocates and part when we get that reach out don't feel pressure that you have to solve the problem but you are required to at least have a conversation in a way of I'm here for you and also to voice I don't have the capacity to do so. Because once you do that it gives it to go thank you for being honest and not feel like they were a burden but understand that they're all you are also in a space that maybe their weight cannot be put on you, but then they can ask for another place to be out there. And then you don't feel so just know it's about communication. It's about that conversation with that ask too. So on both parties.

Speaker 1:28:11

Um in and not to forget if you do have if you do have faith and relationship with God, then that's that's really the first place to start and and that will give you help with your courage to ask for help.

Speaker 3 1:28:25

Thank you for ending it on the highest notes of the weekend because ultimately if you cannot find another human being who will answer that call, your father, those of you who believe and are there will answer it for you. It absolutely absolutely will. It just might not be the way you think you should receive the answer. So be patient. Have some grace for yourself, feel it, experience it, and know that he's already it's already done. All of it is already done. We just don't know how to navigate it because we're on this human form trying to learn it. That's it, that's it's already done. So um and again doesn't make it easy and does not make it exceed anything. It doesn't and the fact that we make light of it is because we can see the good in in this situation which allows for us to be able to be the pillars for the humans around us because if we did and we would crumble um I would like to think that if I allowed that part of me to be even the slightest bit seen anymore, like I would crumble. I am one of the weakest beings in that space and the fact that the opposite is the strength, I'll lean into that always. And that opposite isn't me. It's you know it's it's the Holy Spirit within me. But like I'd rather lean into that than my own self knowing that it my own self is very very debilitating and very self-sabotaging and doesn't believe in my own self. And I'm like nah that's not like that's not who we are. Like I know who I am. Right no I like na be gone be gone and the fact that you have to tell yourself that and go no I have humans who love me. I have a place I have that it's a hard not it's a hard conversation for us to have we live in such a negative world and we live in such a negative space that it's hard to have that of going how can you think positively well when you're in a positive existence or and I use the word positive loosely when you're in a joyful existence um there's no thought it's it's it's will and it's done and it's those two things despite all the nuanced context of what's going on within that will and done it is done.

Where To Find Tanya And Closing Wisdom

Speaker 3 1:30:20

So um just know there is a difference in that and and if you're navigating navigating yourself and on there we are here for you in every shape or form the um doctor make sure I get this um Dr. Rx Tanya right did I get it right I'm gonna make sure I get it right Dr. Rx Tanya Jackson is here to be the prescription so you can dance it off if you need to so where can um humans find you and what um where where what can you uh tell them about your upcoming events or anything like that.

Speaker 1:30:51

Well right now I'm only going to tell you about my upcoming wedding because that's what I'm concentrating on. I don't have um I don't have in-person or online classes right now but starting in 27 I'll be back online classes and um you can see some of it at my um social media that remains open and both Facebook and Instagram is at dancedoctor.drx and that's spelled all the way out d-a-n-c-e-d-o-c t o r dot drx yes and where else you can find her is at our runway resilience fashion show on October 24th so get your tickets because they are buy one get one right now for general admissions until September 7th so please come support Miss Tanya and her resilience and her walk and we have to thank the venue for their um thank the venue thank the experience for their venue uh it is an amazing uh venue here in Jacksonville off of Goodwin Street and in Riverside on five points and they have been so gracious to support us and support our mission and support what we're doing and provide a space and a home for the ending of our documentary and you will get to hear and see Ms.

Speaker 3 1:32:04

Tanya in there too.

Speaker 1:32:06

Last question uh the artist within you this is a this is the question when you look beyond the uniform and all the roles you've carried and the changes and um the e the title of Dance Doctor and everything else in between all of that who is the artist within Tanya and what is she still learning to express create or set free um that person is the crafty Tanya and she's trying to return to scrapbooking in the in the physical form and bringing that back to to what people do. So that that's who's trying to get discovered and one day I'm gonna make this time for her to come out.

Speaker 3 1:32:59

Oh I love that oh my goodness scrapbook crafty one I love that I think we're all crafty in our own shapes and forms. So that's amazing I can't wait to see it and I'll show you my crafty notebook that I made in my own scrapbook things that I made it as my planner thing. It's called the artist within and you get to design it and there's just a blank piece of paper everybody can do. It's just you know you you just put color markers but I made it so yay um you guys can get your own book in there and support us that way. But uh is there anything you'd like to leave off our our listeners with because Tanya this conversation was so amazing and and I really really genuinely enjoyed hearing your perspective um when I tell you that I see you like your whole life has just been strength leadership despite all the circumstances and the things that you are even navigating now um you're you're just magnificent. So is there anything that you would like to leave all of our listeners listeners off with the last word well thank you thank you for the opportunity and I just want to leave with um one of my favorite movies um quoting them so treat treat today as a gift because yesterday is history tomorrow's a mystery and today is the present and and it's a gift so you know I saw that um I actually just saw that reel from uh the older gentleman that I don't know if you've seen it on on our socials but it's an older gentleman he said that exact quote the other day and I just cried and I was like absolutely so the fact that you said it right here today is just it's it it's a gift today you guys the fact that we're breathing having these conversations treasure them value them and um enjoy them learn about each other learn through each other and learn for each other because it's important um that's how we change what's everything that's happening. So until next time I will talk to you guys in a while and make sure you follow like subscribe and do all the other good things listen to all of our podcasts and episodes on every streaming platform and um I will see you guys shortly