Welcome And The Human Experience

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Hello, my lovely friends. Welcome back to the Artist Within podcast. I'm your host, Adela Hittel, and this podcast is produced by Project Human Think, a new way to think about emotional and mental health. And as I'm reminding myself again, we're moving past just the emotional and mental health. It's a new way to think about the human experience. What are we doing here? How are we navigating? How are we interconnecting with each other? How are we connecting and being aware and assessing our own relationships with ourselves and then within others? How are we creating the artists within? And I'm really, really excited for this new year because of everything we've done so far. So welcome back. I am so excited to share with you guys my next guest in the conversation. As you know, I get to meet so many different humans. Part of my job is to go out and say hello. As my husband says, you never walk away without having a friend. And as you guys know, I don't have friends, but I never walk away without not meeting one partner that I could potentially have in my life. And I happen to be get so lucky and so blessed this year with some humans that have come into my life that have helped me achieve next level things or believe, just believe in what I'm doing, believe in the mission of the human experience and creating a new way of thinking about how we connect and interact and again interconnect. And it's not even a new way, it's kindness, love, compassion. It's all the things we teach, but we become so self-absorbed that we forget that how we treat ourselves is how we treat others. And anyway, so this year I had a quite a quite a few moments where I felt so down on myself, right? Adela, you're not, you're not gonna reach your goals, you're not gonna be able to do this, you're setting yourself up so high. And then you have quite a few people around you that tell you that, like, yeah, no, we believe in you, but you're a little ambitious. Or, you know, Adela, it's I'm feeling down because, well, none of this is going down this way. Or Adela, you know what? Maybe you should just put a pause on things because it's just too much. You're playing with too many things. And you get deflated, but you know what your worth is, you know what your goal is, and you still keep going. And as I've kept going, as I've kept going, again, I've been introduced to some beautiful humans. And I met one of these, like I said, as I'm gonna introduce to

Meet Zach Phillips And His Story

SPEAKER_02 2:14

you right now. So this next human, let me give you a little bio about him. He is, to me, one of the sweetest humans, by the way, that I've gotten a pleasure to meet so far and and have a conversation with. And just the the joy that he exudes is something that um I think that we hide away from. And he gets, and in the male perspective too, he comes in with so much joy for and so much zest for life, despite the hardships, despite the um difficulties of navigating things that he has to navigate personally with his business and everything else. So today's guest is Zach Phillips. He's a Jacksonville-based financial representative with Western and Southern Financial Group, whose story reminds us that rebuilding a life begins from within. Professionally, Zach helps individuals and families think about their financial well-being and prepare for their futures. Personally, he has experienced a season that required him to begin rebuilding his own life and rediscovering who he is. Zach has often served as an emotional anchor for the people around him, the person others could depend on during difficult moments. But after experiencing divorce and what he describes as a downward spiral, he found himself in an unfamiliar position of needing that same love and support from others. His journey has required him to learn how to extend grace and forgiveness to himself, embrace self-care, and understand that healing does not have to happen all at once. Sometimes, progress simply means taking life one day at a time and choosing to make it to tomorrow. Today, Zach is learning how to love him, love himself more, more fully and to continue to show up to show up with a smile, not just for himself but for others. Not because life has always been easy, but because the humans who stood beside him helped him remind helped remind him that he was still worthy of support, healing, and hope. So I am so very excited to introduce you guys to Zach Phillips. Hello, sir. Welcome to the Artist Within podcast. Um introduce yourself. That was my description and my little bio of you that I could put together. Let me know what I've missed. And uh welcome to the team and welcome to the show. Tell us about you, Mr. Zach.

SPEAKER_09 4:20

Well, yeah, I mean, I think you did you did a wonderful job summing me up. I I think um sometimes I can be a little bit more than the sum of my parts, but you know, I uh I love life. I love I love living in Jacksonville, I love getting into interact with people every day. Um I'm I'm an extroverted person. I like to be out here talking to people, meeting new people, and experiencing new things. Um, and so that's been a really exciting part of part of my job in my life. Um working, working in a you know, I work in a sales role at my job where where you know I meet a lot of people, I help them plan for retirement, help them do these things. Um, and just getting to meet people, learn about their situations, learn how I can help. I'm always happy to like lend a helping hand to people and see if there's a way that I can add to their life. I think that that that's the best way that I can sum it up. And so I think that, you know, I I got a lucky opportunity just kind of meet you networking. And and I think that, you know, what you guys do here at Eric and what we do now that I'm I'm helping is is wonderful and I'm happy to be a part of it. So thank you so much for have and thank you again.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Uh, as I mentioned, you guys, Zach was one of these humans that I came through and his counterpart, um, Biana, who is just a fireball, you guys. Um, I have to mention her because to me they're interwined together now. Wherever one goes, the other goes. It's an awesome little partnership. And I love it. So when I met Zach and you know, I told him what he what we needed, and I was in my hump. It was literally over needing a new venue, needing some stuff. And you're like, no, let me come on, let me see what I can do, let me talk to some people, let me do this. And then within days, because you talk to a few people and a few people talked to another couple people, it all came together. And again, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be coming and having the experience at the experience this this coming October. Um, and you know, you deciding to take a shot on me too, um, because for whatever reason, you saw something more than or I sold myself somehow better than I thought I did. And um, and so I'm really just appreciative, you know, of you being here and then willing to share your story now because I think that your voice and the story you have, specifically from a man's perspective and going through divorce and having to pick yourself up and you know, children, everything else in that mist, that you are willing to, you're so so willing to share that experience because I think you've recognized how important it is when we voice something that's happened to us, but we don't allow it to create a victim out of us, but a victor. Um, and that's been a really running awesome theme, actually, through these last couple of conversations is that we're not victims to the stories or to the narratives that were given to us or were placed upon us, or even with the decisions that we've made and we're responsible for either. We can become something else. So let me ask you um

Rediscovering Identity After Divorce

SPEAKER_02 6:57

right into it. Let's get into the hard stuff because I think it's gonna be cool. When you think about who you were before the divorce, like I just let's get into the meet you guys. I think it's it's awesome on there. Um, and who you're becoming now. What parts of yourself have you rediscovered that you thought were lost or that you were like, I want to refine?

SPEAKER_09 7:17

You know, it's it's funny because you know, and I don't I don't I will never disparage my ex-wife. Um I think that when I was married and I was in a position, I had twisted myself into the shape that I was unrecognizable or who I wanted to be. Um I was I was unhappy, I was unhappy where I was and what I was doing. And um and so I took this chance as a divorce to to you know, there were bad days, maybe there was there was there was depression, there was there was there was times where I wasn't my happiest, but I I took an opportunity to say, let me be the person I want to be, let me express myself the way that I want to express myself, let me greet the world the way that I want to be greeted and through that kind of growth and kind of like coming out kind of this like crystal shell, you know, kind of like a like a caterpillar. It's been very interesting to find myself like like my mother has always told me I need to get into politics. My mother's always told me she wanted to get involved in city government and do all these things, and I never really did it before. And now I'm doing it, I'm getting to experience all these different things, see around the city. Um, and I'm getting to do it at a time when Jacksonville's going through like this really unprecedented growth. And so I'm getting to kind of get a flexic view of it and be a part of it. And so discovering the, you know, my my love for it, discovering how much I, you know, I love getting out here networking and meeting people and going to expands has been something really great for me. Um even even just I met a guy who's who's in the Jacksonville music scene. He has a band, and um I've been going to his shows and seeing them like how vibrant the music scene is in Jacksonville has been fantastic. Like I didn't know that it was such a huge thing. Um, all over. There's there's venues that they play at all over Jack's Beach, all over Jacksonville. And so getting to just kind of see another side of this place that I love so much and you know, get to get out and and how you know be myself. I think that that's that's been a really great part for me.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

I love that. Um, I think it's it shows again in my experience with having known you just a very short few few months, actually. Um, I can see the love you have for what you do in the community, and I can see that you are um seeing yourself, excuse me, in a new light and in a way that you potentially, you know, might not have. Um, you described in in your questionnaire um the we ask uh a part about going having a downward spiral after your

The Downward Spiral And Support

SPEAKER_02 9:35

divorce. Do you mind going a little bit of um into that uh without sharing anything obviously you're not comfortable with sharing? But what was that season or moment, or if there was a moment that you just like remember, or that like what did that feel like for you? And and how did you reach out for help or or did you think to reach out for help in that moment? Like, and the reason why I'm asking because part of what we do in the podcast is to kind of take a moment in our hardest time um and have an ex have a conversation about it because so many humans are in there, right? So many humans get like right now are going through navigating things, and you and I are both navigating something on a personal level, even that's not divorce, it's not other things that affect us, you know, w and more of the people we love. And that also those spirals maybe potentially helped us how to navigate today and the things we have to go through. So, how did that spiral feel for you and how did you ask and navigate for that help?

SPEAKER_09 10:35

Um, I mean, so I actually think that the a lot of it actually probably started before my divorce, like I said. I think that um for myself personally, and and this is you know, going in for me. I was in a job where I was not using my talents to the fullest. I was I actually worked in in background uh like that entry kind of work over for a company. Um and so I wasn't interacting with people, I wasn't getting to kind of go out and be myself, you know, a lot of it's still from COVID where I was just sitting at home on a computer doing work, and it made me miserable, it made me feel caged in. Um, and then that carried over into my personal life, and then that also, you know, there's there's some other extenuating circumstances in my personal life. And I found myself in this downward spiral of like, you know, the best way I can describe it is I'm in a boat with a giant hole in the side and I've got a bucket throwing water at, you know, that's how I felt. And and I felt like there was all these things going wrong, and I wasn't addressing the things that were like actually wrong. Um and so at the lowest point when I felt just completely overwhelmed, completely just lost in it. Um, it was hard. I'll be honest, it was it was hard asking for help. I'm not a person I I like to help people, I'm not a person who can naturally ask for help. Um, and luckily I had people in my life who loved me and care about me and noticed how just depleted I was. I don't even know the right word for it. And um they were kind of quietly there for me, you know. If if I they were they were they were kind of waiting in the wings for me to ask for help, and when I was ready to ask for help, they definitely all helped me. Um, and and that came from from a supportive family. But like, you know, I I like to think I'm a good person to cultivate good friendships, and my friends really just you know rallied around me and were there for me and and and helped me put me back on the right track, help me find the joy in life again. Because I I you know there's parts of the divorce, there's parts of like just the end of a marriage where you feel like yeah, I'm never gonna feel joy again. This is terrible, I'm miserable. And and learning to grow past that was a lesson in itself. Um, but I think that having been there, it it makes me appreciate where I'm at now a lot.

Don’t Be Alone On Hard Days

SPEAKER_02 12:46

I want to ask if there was one thing, if there was something you could tell somebody that might be going through that exact moment right now, and they're just stuck in that loop. Be you being that you were there not too long ago, you know, and and kind of still have the feeling of it, what would you tell them to do in that moment or recommend? Or and again, this isn't medical advice, you guys. This is just an experience of somebody going through and having a lived experience that might help you navigate something that might not take your spiral spiral further than you know we intend to.

SPEAKER_09 13:17

I mean, I mean, the first thing I will say is that help is a lot closer than you think. I mean, there are so many great resources to reach out to for mental health. Um, there is there's a lot of good programs where you can find um counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, things like that. Um my biggest thing that I will say to somebody, and I know this seems simple to say, maybe not easy to do, is don't be alone. Find find people that find a community, find somebody. And and I try and that's one of the reasons I love that I'm doing stuff like this, is because I wasn't alone at my lowest point, and that that really helped me. Um, and and it wasn't always, hey, I needed somebody to come in and have a therapeutic session with me. Sometimes it was just I'm having a bad day, and I needed somebody to just sit there with me making out some miserable. And so I think that that's one of those things that was a that's a just anybody in your life, and and be honest with them, right? You know, um people will give you a lot of grace, they will love you, do a lot of things. If you just tell them, hey, I'm just having a bad day, and then can we just you know hang out? They will, they'll do it for you. Yeah, um, the other thing that I would say for me is don't let one bad day, they would this is a hard thing that for me to learn, but don't let one bad day turn into five bad days. Yes. Um I I I would, you know, a lot of times what would happen is I would have a bad day. I think today is it's funny that we're doing this today. I had a pretty bad day professionally. Um and but don't carry that into tomorrow. Tomorrow's a new day, tomorrow's another chance, another crack at it. And so learning that, learning how to say, Hey, yeah, I had a bad Tuesday, don't make that a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday problem. Yeah, you know, and you'd be surprised how when you get to Friday, you even forget Tuesday happened because you made a better week happen.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Yep, absolutely. And I want to add to that too, you know, as you as you grow and you learn more about yourself and as you're navigating, it'll go from having a bad day to having a bad hour to having and then not having bad five hours, but you just had that one bad hour, and those next five hours can be a life-changing moment for you too, in a different way. And so you end up learning that the time you spend on the bad, you could take and spend it on the good despite the bad, and actually you don't lose anything by turning it to good. You actually lose more by keeping it in the bad. And so the more you turn it to good and go, okay, it's a lesson, I'll get up tomorrow morning again. And tomorrow you're gonna get up and you're gonna be like, I'm gonna kick kick ass today, and I'm gonna, you know, take all the names and I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna have a different perspective and a different approach. And and instead of again beating yourself up like we may have might have even before, like, oh, you're so crazy, like you're so cringe or stupid or whatever because you didn't do these things or you're never gonna make it. Now you go, okay, that's great. We didn't do it yesterday, and we didn't make it yesterday, and we made them, we may have made some stupid decisions yesterday, but you know what? Today's a new day, and how can we not do any of that today, or how can we just do one step better? So it it does change when um, like you said, you take it one day at a time instead of the full on, and sometimes you need to take it five minutes at a time because at that level, that's where you're at. Uh, and and and you don't have to worry about again that day or the week, but that five minutes and asking those humans for help around you. Um, I'm glad you pointed that out because a lot of us don't know that we do have help. Uh, we're too ashamed or too feel like we're overburdening someone, or that um that we're just not worthy of someone giving us the time and space and the capacity to like sit with us and chill with us and have a drink, or you know, I don't condone drinking, but you know, you do your thing. But have a drink with someone uh to each zone. Like I said, I'll buy you a drink. I just I won't do it myself. But um, but like but to be there for them and buy them the drink, even though you don't drink, or even though you don't have like to just be in just to be supportive, yeah. Just to be in existence with the human, um, to know that that experience we've all gone through or navigated in one way or another, and sometimes words don't need to be said, just the presence of someone, it changes that whole shift in them, too. So I'm glad you had that support. Um, I'm glad you it you you know you were able to do that. You said you don't ask for help, and then you know, you also mentioned that most of the time you're there for everyone

Being Everyone’s Emotional Anchor

SPEAKER_02 17:29

else. How is it being an emotional, like an emotional cornerstone basically for people? How is that for you? How do you um how do you navigate that when humans, you know, I don't mean the word dump, vent, but dump or put it on you in that emotional perspective, and then you might not necessarily have the ability to um do the same towards them or you know, dump or vent, and and you kind of have to navigate that on your own. How does that how is that for you? Because you are that strong one, and when you need that navig navigation for a moment, it's hard to be like, well, everybody comes to me and I need help, you know, like it's emotionally overload.

SPEAKER_09 18:20

It it is, and and it can be a lot, especially when you're going through something and somebody else dumps something else on top of you. Is it it can be almost doubly so and I think that I have a lot of empathy for for my fellow humans and for for people. And so for me, I've always I've always found myself being an emotional lodestone for people, as what I call a chemistone lodestone, is that I think that when sometimes people just need to need you there, right? And and I'm I'm more than happy to be there for anybody and everybody. Um for me as as somebody going through something, having that, I was I was pleasantly, like I said, for me in my mentality, I never thought, oh yeah, well, I can just turn around and do it the other way. And what I found is no, people are more than happy to pick up that that burden from you. Um and and it is it's a give and take. And so that was a thing that I had to learn how to do. I had to learn how to how to, you know, express my my feelings, express what I'm going through, express those things to people, um, and not feel like I'm I'm less than for it. Um I think that that's that's one of those things is that I I I've a lot of my buddies and and especially a lot of my friends who join the military and stuff like that, uh you know, they would go through these these horrible things. They would they would see terrible things and they would feel less than for talking about it, they would feel less than for being emotional about it. And um something that I've embraced for myself and helped them embrace is that hey, it's okay to feel your feelings. Um, something I teach my kids, you know, is is that my my my daughter asked me, she goes, Why do you get mad at traffic and and and and blow up? And I've had to I've had to be able to channel my road rage a little bit with them. But I I told them this the other day is that look, holding on to that anger, I'm I'm mad right now, right? That guy cut me off in traffic, I'm mad right now. I don't need to carry that into tomorrow. I don't need to carry that into 30 minutes from now. I get it out right now and I'm healthy. I'll move, I've moved past it. It's okay, feel your feelings. Um and I think that that's something that the advice that I gave that I had to learn how to take. Um but I think I've got I've gotten a lot better about it.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

So Yup, absolutely. And again, the idea isn't to validate the reality of the situation, but to validate the moment of the emotion and go, hey, listen, you're angry and this happened, and of course this happened. That doesn't mean the reality is that you're gonna go out and beat this person up or do something crazy or do, you know, in in that, or that the or that anything actually needs to happen, like your reaction needs to be bigger than the expression of an emotion. And I think we decide that we need to do so much more because we can't understand the emotion and the overwhelmness. Um, you know, for example, me too, I had got some bad news today myself. And by literally 15 minutes before we got on this call, got some really gnarly news. And to think that, you know, two, three years ago, I would have been like, I can't do this. I can't do this podcast, I can't have this conversation with you, I can't comportalize, I can't focus, I can't be here because I'm a mess. Oh, this just this bad news, and you know, at the level and the weight of it, to be able to come and say, you know what, all cool, all calm. I can validate my emotion in that moment and express it and have 10 minutes and like freak out and just like really, really be mad for a minute, but then go, okay, it was the five, 10 minutes. That's not the rest of the reality, that's not the rest of the week, that's not the rest of the day, that's not actually the real the rest of the plan. I don't even know what it is. It's just bad news right now. So being able to pause yourself in that moment, you know, in an emotional overload and talk yourself through that and where you're coming in now too, and seeing that and going, like, man, and admitting that it's okay to be vulnerable. I've had to do that in front of my son, my husband, but also be responsible and accountable for that vulnerability, right? And Not turn it into hurtful things for others or yourself. But we don't know how to do that yet. We don't know how to express it without the hurt of somebody else because we want someone to feel the same thing we do instead of just feeling the thing we feel, right? Um I think that's been a I I think I found that now as my healing journey has grown is that I don't want to hurt anyone else anymore. I don't want anyone to feel my pain, but I do want to feel my pain or I do want to feel my joy, right? Like you want to be able to express it and experience it.

SPEAKER_09 22:30

But I do want to say one thing that you just said, and and I do think you should get I'm not telling you that it's suppressed emotions, but I do think that you also want to find a place and time for that.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_09 22:41

Um, you know, maybe in the middle of public isn't exactly the best time to be having a crying session. You know, tantrum. Yeah, I know. But I I believe that when you're in a place that you feel safe, when you're in a place that that is is private, because I believe that or as private as you need it to be, because like sometimes you can like you except have your son or your husband or you know, like your kids or somebody like around you for it, feel your feelings. It's okay, it's okay to you know have a cry, have a breakdown. Sometimes you can get the anger out, sometimes, you know, hey, uh you know, sometimes you see to yell, you know, and and maybe throw a pillow around the house. I I completely understand. Just make sure it's in an appropriate place. I think that that that's an important part of that step. You know, don't just be, you know, I was in traffic and I just drove my car to your car, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Right, like right. That's what we're talking about, right? Like, don't like we're okay with validating your emotion in the moment and going like, no, you're feeling this, but the reality is you do not have to do anything about that emotion. Like, you don't have to hurt someone else, you don't have you don't even have to express the emotion actually in any space.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Yeah, so you're my computer just turned off. So pause, I'm pausing for one sec. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Okay, again, technical difficulties do happen in what I do and how I'm doing. And this was literally a part, like everything just shut down for a sec for no reason. Like I'm power on it and like no reason, but at least we're still going on. Okay, cool. Um, so yeah, but that's that's them too, that's again the universe validating, saying we're not validating your reality. We can validate the emotion, but not the reality. So you don't have to freak out and lose your mind, Adela, of what happens right there. See, prime example. I love when God gives us a moment and goes, listen, the lesson or the lesson you're talking about, let's learn it right now. Let's make sure that you can apply it to what you're doing.

SPEAKER_09 24:27

Let's let's drive it home.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

That's right. Like, let's put the pin and the needle to it. Oh my goodness, I love that.

Grace, Forgiveness, Living In The Moment

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Um, I want to ask about you mentioned giving yourself grace and forgiveness. What have what is one thing you've had to forgive yourself for? And how was that forgiveness possible for you?

SPEAKER_09 24:48

I think for me, uh, you know, not to get overly personal, especially at the end of my marriage, there were things that were leveled at me um by uh by other people, um you know, by by my ex-wife and everything like that. And I'm I'm a people pleaser and and I I love to make people happy, love to make things work. And for me, it was I'm you know, I'm being told things about myself that that I don't I didn't feel were right. I didn't feel were and and I took steps to resolve things that weren't problems with myself, and I had to back up, really look at myself and give myself some grace and give myself this and say, Hey, there's nothing wrong with you. Um and even even you know, sometimes now I still have to do that, where like I I I I look at myself and I go, What's wrong with me? And I was like, There's nothing wrong with me. I you know, I have to be accepting of who I am and kind of forgive myself for for for my things that I I didn't think that I did right. Um and and I think that for me, and it's it's a powerful lesson that I've had to teach my kids as a father, is that even when you do things wrong, you don't really like the the lesson that you need to learn there is that you learned a lesson.

SPEAKER_04 26:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_09 26:02

Um that hey, you did something wrong, now let's correct it. And so a lot of that forgiveness for me was looking at what I did wrong, looking at things that I that maybe I didn't feel that I did wrong, and really looking at myself and saying, hey, why why did this happen? What what what did you do that led to this? Um, even if it's not that you did anything wrong. And because like I think a lot of things where I was before, where where I was in these depressive episodes, and I was always um this is what my what my therapist thought that would share calls. Like, I used to do this thing called Living in the Wreckage of Tomorrow, which is where I would like get in my head that something is gonna happen, you know, and and it would be something like, Oh, we're gonna go to the beach, and I would, oh, well, the going to the beach entails this and this, I gotta get the car ready, I gotta pack this, I have to pack that. And it would become so overwhelming in my head, I would just immediately have a bad attitude about it. And then I'd have a bad attitude at the beach, and then have a bad attitude, and then the beach would go terribly, and then I'd be in the car afterwards going, see, I told you it wouldn't go well, and that's because my attitude from the jump had been negative. I was living in the wreckage of it, and so learning how to live in the moment, give myself some grace there and say, Hey, just enjoy it. It's going to the beach, right? It's not supposed to it, if it doesn't go perfect, it doesn't have to go perfect. You can just enjoy it. And learning how to do that has been a thing for me that's that's been a very long journey. I'm still on it sometimes, but but I find myself able to live in the moment. And like you meet me and see me on public, I'm I'm just enjoying it. So that's really what I've learned how to do.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

I love that. I'm gonna pause for one second. Timing on. So you you just said that living in the wreckage, like that might be the title of the episode for real. Living in the wreckage, because because I know that feeling. My therapist told me, Adela, your baseline is death, and the way you live your life is on like at any given moment you could die. So if you don't have what you need, if you're not like you, but I never heard living in the wreckage, and that makes so much sense because I would be. And you just mentioned, like, oh, when you pack up, I remember one specific moment and we were going to the gator game at UF. I packed up everything, I did all the right things, I followed the rules, I want my backpack, I have my stuff right, and but I needed all these things to have a good day, to have like I needed it, and we got there and I couldn't bring it in. And I lost my ever-loving mind. I lost like my ever-loving mind. I could not grasp the concept that I didn't need it. It was gonna be okay. I wasn't gonna die. Like, there was no wreckage that would happen, or that, but the wreckage was that I created the wreckage now. Like I wrecked everyone's day, I wrecked my own day, I ruined it because all I could see was wreckage instead of going like, oh, just put the bag away until I walk in without anything. And you saying having to work on that, that is one of my hardest lessons I've had to learn too. Where now I'm mentally, emotionally, like it takes me literally like two days to prepare for an event when I have to go somewhere to do anything. Like, it takes me to prepare completely, not having anything other than my ID, other than my ID and my keys. Like, how do I prepare to not have anything for survival and for the wreck I may cause, but not getting anything in there and literally avoiding the wreckage by not thinking about it. And that's the hardest part because your what ifs, your everything in there just spirals uh you out of that. So I'm glad you brought that up because I think that's a lot of us something that we're and and and what I've learned actually that is more of transition. It's not necessarily of it's the transition between what we what we know our lives have been and what we've experienced and we we know and we can see the signs and the patterns than to having something completely change it within a split second and not be able to transition between one action or another. And that's like the same thing with tasks. Sometimes we can't transition between that, but on a bigger scale of like life on decisions, on moments, not being able to transit transition from wreckage to joy or or from joy or transitioning to from joy to wreckage is like, and that's easier to like go the opposite, right? It's so much easier to go to the bad than it is to go to the good.

SPEAKER_09 30:08

Um, yeah, and I think we base a lot of our like when we get into the bad, that's one of those things that talk about the downward spiral. A lot of that is you have bad experiences, and then in your mind you just, oh, this is gonna be a bad experience because that was. And yes, that's not always true. It's not always the same cycle. Sometimes it can be different. We have the power to make it different. And so when that's one of those things I get talked about, it doesn't have to go that way every time. Um yeah, and so for me, learning to to navigate that, learning to hey, treat everything like it's a new day, treat every day like it's a new chance, you know, it's not the same way that it went before. Um, and even when I tell people and you know, excuse my language, but it's it's the the when I go out in public with my kids now, I I've I've kind of embraced this concept of like it's gonna be a shit show, it's not gonna go perfect. Yes, you know, and so like hey, we're just and and it is what it is. Honestly, it's who my kids are, it's who I am, and I'm not, I don't get mad when we're in public, I don't get mad, they don't, you know, I love my kids and it can embarrass me. It's just one of those things.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

We're gonna go in public and what happens happens, you know, right so right, and that doesn't mean that there's not again like the the discipline or the accountability or responsibility for your actions, for your words, for your choices, like all of that is in there. But the ability to be just very authentic in our existence, um, and and and experience it the way we've been forced not to, actually, is a new process, it's a new experience, if you will, for all of us. Um, you know, that it goes beyond the I believe capitalism and everything that we have here is like the greatest thing we have in this country. On the other end of it, too, it is also the thing that it rules everything right now, including our humanity. And so if we can find the humanity within that, it can change for the best in everything and everyone. So if we're in the country and in a space where the abundance for us is supposed to be here and it's the greatest, then the humanity part should be too. And again, I talk about the should be what be could be for the whole human um in our society, but not for the individual, because I can't judge or you know, I can't be a jury, judge your executioner for your life and where I think you should be, how you could you like none of that is my business. Um, it's just that we believe that we're worth the effort of having that experience, that much better experience than we are right now. And it requires us stepping up and having conversations like this and showing up and going to events and being like, hey, I'm Zach, you know.

Authentic Connection Through Networking

SPEAKER_02 32:33

And I think I wanted we met at the chamber, um, the 101 chamber event.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Um, because I was like, my first time coming in, that was actually my first time coming back into a public setting like that in like three years since like my last panic attack. And I like went to hide away and and to be in them. They're like, what do you do? I was like, I don't know, I'm human. I teach people to be human. Like that was literally my pitch. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna sit down. Um, nobody's gonna talk to me afterwards. Like, and then you showed up and you're like, hey, human? I was like, yeah, human. And then Bilana came in, and then we talked in our language because we're from the same towns in the same hoods, in the same neck of the woods, and like we just had this moment. And I wanted to ask you about that day because I think there was something really special in that moment. Most people, you saw that too. Most people don't approach when you're just like, hey, it's human. Hey, it's um like I'm not asking for money, I'm not giving you money, but I am asking for humanity and who's up for that conversation. And you were. So, what made you want to have that conversation with me? Other than I was like, I'm human.

SPEAKER_09 33:38

I mean, I think that that your authenticity really made me want to talk to you. I mean, I you were very just yourself, the person that I've every time I've interacted with you, you've been the exact same person to that that authentic selfish you are. And I I I've started going to a lot of networking events, and there's people are very withdrawn, that they they don't want to express themselves. And I was like, that's I want to help people like that. I want to talk to people who want to be themselves, who are loud, who are unapologetic about it. And um and so yeah, I mean, and then the other part of it was you know, you talked about Project Human, and I was like, I I for me, my mental health journey has been a lot for me. Um, and so I when I saw a nonprofit that was doing it, I was like, I want to be involved, I want to be a part of that. Um, it's it's part one of my actually kind of favorite parts of my job is that I get to double dip a little bit. You know, like I get to network and work with people, but I also get to do things that I'm passionate about myself. Yeah, and so yeah, I I just your authenticity really drew me in. And then when you were talking about what you do, I was like, Yeah, I definitely want to be a part. Um, and so I think that that I would encourage people. I tell people I'll try anything twice. Um, just go out and try new things. Um if you don't like it the first time, give it another go. Maybe maybe there's just something about it that went wrong the first time.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

So, you know, anybody can have a bad day.

SPEAKER_09 34:56

Anyone can have a bad day. Um, you know, and and I think that uh for me, like like I said, you know, joint things that were convinced, meetings people that that's the whole goal is to meet people and have these enjoying the conversations. Um but sometimes, yeah, you just you just meet people that you instantly click with, and I think that that's one of those wonderful things that happen

The Red Card Kindness Practice

SPEAKER_09 35:14

for us.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

So what did you think of the red card presentation? Because it's like my favorite thing ever. I watch just anybody and everybody have a red card, pick a red card, any red card. Um and honestly, I love it.

SPEAKER_09 35:25

I I first off, I think that it is it is a very unique thing. Um, I I can't think I've collected like honestly, if you go to my desk in my office, I have stacks of business cards, like like stacks of business cards. Um the ones that you hand out are the most unique things you find, but the little bit of kindness and joy that you find inside of them, the messaging in it is so positive. And I just I love I was back at my desk opening it, like, oh my gosh. I was like, I was probably giggling like they were probably looking like I was weird out of smirk, and it just kind of like And they hit, right?

SPEAKER_02 35:52

They hit you. They're like you kind of get one that's for you. I think that's like without knowing, because they're all different. I think that was so unique for me because we when we make them together, we just we we blind make them for real. Like we used to spend so much time, like really, really giving intention to it, like every card, but that took forever and hours. So we're like, okay, and then we started playing around and then we realized that we don't have to plan anything for anyone. It like they're gonna get what they need for the day, um, or what they were kind of hoping to hear. And so to see that and to hear that, and and that's been one of the feedbacks we've had, like to see that it's a little unique and then it's personalized to you, and that we don't ask for anything in return of it. We just genuinely want to give you a little bit of joy, a little bit of inspiration, a little sticker to let you know and remind you you're worth like sticking around and just these moments. Um, because I've had CEOs and I've had other humans just snub the idea of that little red card, not understanding or not even wanting to take a moment into the value of it, right? Because, well, it's Adela with her little red card. And I think that we as a society devalue those little moments, which is why I make them so personal and so it's so important to have in there. So thank you for sharing that because I I think it's important that humans hear that, like with that, we've reached over 4,000 human beings with our little red cards, like personally.

SPEAKER_09 37:13

And how I would want to say well, I was gonna say one other thing. I mean, I don't know if you remember that because we actually gave me two of them. I used to give me one to take back to the office, and one of my coaches say she used to sit next to me.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

I gave her one thank you, because that means a lot. Um, again, at the end of the day, I started those sticky notes with my own little personal moment of doing um the uh um uh what do you call them? This uh um the wall stickies, little sticky notes. And I started with that and I started handing them out because I needed that. And for me, it was a 300 stiff 365 days of PSAs, which were called positively sticky affirmations. And I was like, and it really was. I was like, if I can make one positive affirmation stick in the day out of all my negatives, what could happen in 365 days? And that was difficult because I had to be consistent and I had to sit down every day and actually write it out, write out a positive thought, not a negative one, positive action, not a negative one. Um, because again, a lot of times when we journal, we want to vent everything out that's just negative. Well, to me, I think that's great. Again, journal it out, let it out. But if you don't actually counter it with something positive in writing either, or something in there, like all you're doing is solidifying that moment into a much deeper, longer story than it needs to be. And I learned that by having to do that. And so now I think our the upgrade of our red cards and our little stickies in that is the idea that again, if we can share with you one positive affirmation, one positive word of faith, because I'm faith-based, so we share that too. Let humans know you never know. Um, but then one also practical step. I think that's the difference that we've been able to manage is that we actually give a practical step to someone taking a moment, whether that's take a breath, you know, sit down with your knees bent up, because there's some of those cards, like real literally, it's like sometimes you need to go dance in the rain. Um, but these actions that you can take that are something different is is what's made it unique. And so I appreciate that. And I'm I'm glad that we're able to share that and and um just keep looking at love for those guy, you guys, because we're coming even more with them. Um I wanted to ask you another question um regarding um your relationships and um self-care about yourself and the relationship with your with yourself. You mentioned that uh, you know, uh friends and the humans have helped you understand um the importance of self-care. What is the care of yourself? Because we're changing the verbiage to that too coming up next year. But what is the care of yourself? How do you connect? How do you assess yourself? How are you aware of yourself? Like, how do you resource whatever you may need, and then how do you empower or execute yourself? That's the care acronym for us. But how do you care for yourself now? Like, what do you do in the day or in the week when you feel or when you just need or to maintain your own mental and emotional stability? How do you care for yourself now when you you know, back because back in the day you obviously didn't, because that's what none of us didn't have to be like, why do you think why do you think we spend so much money in the other?

Self-Care Basics And Mental Health Days

SPEAKER_02 44:00

It with my husband and see it with you guys, like especially when you have your nine to five job, and you're so and this is to anyone, it's so difficult to find that time for yourself because you're so worried about everything else, you're so consumed by the world, and then society also and the construct of how we've formed our again life doesn't allow for that because you are to be given to your family, to your partners, to the outside. We're where are you, right? Like you, you're not even in the equation, but you're doing all the work, and so part of the thing like you don't have to do anything big, like big, like you said. I took a whole year of going to Olive Garden once a week to have lunch for by myself. I sat at the I had I wanted to like I did for a whole year because that was like I didn't I didn't want to be around people, but I didn't want to not do stuff, and I had such anxiety of being out in public. Um, because again, my trauma is a little different. My anxiety isn't about if somebody's gonna do something for me or somebody's gonna say something, and my anxiety is that I'm gonna get sniped or I'm gonna get blown up and I'm gonna die. Like it's that simple. Like, that's my anxiety, and then I won't ever get out or see my family. And to have to force myself to go sit, you know, by myself in places and spaces to be able to overcome some of those moments. You have that also helps you overcome some shame and the guilt, and like you don't have to start big, like you said, too. Start on the small scale, go have lunch by yourself, go to the movie by yourself. Don't tell anybody, you're gonna feel guilty for it. You're gonna be like, oh my god, I enjoyed everything today, and now I should like, oh, and I took away from my family. You're gonna go through those thoughts, and oh you know, I I shouldn't have done this, or or how oh, but you're okay to do that because you're allowed to care for yourself and your want and your experience in this life. You're not a slave to everyone else, or to society, or to you know, if you're gonna be a slave to anybody, be a slave to the goodness of yourself and what you want, like, and not again to the T of like neglecting and negating your responsibilities, accountabilities, and like going, oh, so selfish on me. But when you care for your body and you need to be mentally stable, emotionally stable, physically okay and healthy, that requires you scheduling doctor's appointments. That requires you taking a moment and going, you know, did I check in with somebody just with myself for on that, or going to church if that's what you do, or you know, going out to the park? Like, what do you do that reconnects you and recenters you? And I think also men don't do that a lot or ever, or they do in just a different way, and we don't think about that like when men go fishing or when men play video games, or when men, you know, um go out with a friend to play golf or do something else or like car rides or car meets, whatever it is. When they do that, I don't know if we as women look at that as their care for themselves, and that might just be the care for someone, right? Like being able to get out and and do something that they love. Yes, yes, that's actually more stressful to me. That's going to Disney World or a trip is way more stressful than just like no, no, there's no vacationing on vacation for the ones who plan and pay for the vacation, okay? There is none of that. Yes, we're so afraid to use that because again, you're depend you're so afraid for the company. Like, no offense to the company, but like forget the company, like for the day. You've earned that PTO. Go take your mental health day. I would be on vacation. Like, I'd be like, all right, and that vacation wouldn't be a vacation, but I'd be mental health and man, if I had 300 PT hours a day, I'd be like once a week. Like, I would literally schedule once a week and be like, I need you to know my PTO is scheduled. We can't approve it. Yes, you can. It's my PTO. Thank you so much. I'm not doing it like we can work out once a week. We can, you got plenty of coverage. I'm not saying do that because you might get fired. People are crazy on that stuff. I'm just saying advocate for yourself, your PTO, advocate for your mental health. And the other part is if we don't do that with companies, right? Or if we don't advocate for that, what happens? They get to abuse that power of what they have because they just got you in store and then they get to use your use your energy. And it's like, no, you are allowed to not think about that job. You are allowed to not, I don't care how much they're paying you, I don't care what level that they brought you on, you're not a slave to them. But we fall that, and I think men, I know that specifically because I've got some personal humans in my life, men right now who are going through that, who really are like so consumed by the job, by the work because of the pressures of what the expectations are, what this is, what this is, that they forget that they're human and that they're not required to be a robot to a company, regardless of how much they pay them, regardless of what role and what job, or like that you have autonomy to say, like, no, I'm sorry, that's just not gonna work. Now, again, I may be speaking, and this is why I don't work in corporate, and this is why they'd fire me literally in a second, because I don't care. I've been fired like that for a second. So I'm not saying take that advice at all. I'm just saying learn to advocate for yourself, learn to advocate for the things you worked for because you are just as important as you know that company or that job or anything else you do, um, and not creating those moments or those pockets for your refuel recharge. Well, that's how we end up dead.

SPEAKER_08 51:37

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

I love oh my god, I love that. I love that. Oh, that's so awesome.

Men, Brotherhood, And Healthy Community

SPEAKER_01 53:07

We need to get more people on these.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

Oh on, like, no, we're listening you just gave me an idea, you're not gonna talk about talk about it for next year for how to get like no for real because because men need that. Like we we need to acknowledge that again, we tell women get hobbies. Like I've been told that all the time, get a hobby because you're too stressed about this, you're doing so much, go get a hobby, right? Um, but when we tell the man go get a hobby, we expect them to have a hobby that's related to their job or related to something that like can benefit me or benefit that. And again, that's what I've experienced, maybe not all the time, but that's what I've heard and seen and been part of. So to see and hear that we do have those pockets of men coming together and going, let's work towards a common goal of being healthy, of being there and supportive for each other. Let's build a brotherhood, build that level, because we don't have that, especially when I look at the young teens right now and I look at the what's going on in Jacksonville with our young youth, our young men in any corner of Jacksonville, like they don't have those leaders, they don't have that. And then you guys, we get to like you know, our 30s, 40s and go, oh shoot, we need that, and you're just a struggle to find it. When you do find it, it's so exclusive almost that you don't even know that it exists. But it does, like it does. We just don't have either the access or the thought process for it or the knowledge of it, and so that'll be something I want us to focus on next year because you just gave me a great idea. Like, I think that's so important. Where, especially if you guys started this and doing that, like what kind of way could you guys and 40 men influence, you know, the youth and the tea, like just because you're showing up for yourself and being like, no, we're gonna be healthy. We're not here for the competition of it, but we're here for the we'll still have a good healthy amount of competition because we're men, but we're here for the bigger and common goal of like, let's get healthy and how do we push each other to do that, and how do we get better and be better leaders? So um, that just made me so happy. Just brought so much joy to my heart to know that. Like, genuinely. That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_05 56:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

I wouldn't would you say that it would require, like, there are so many things, but it requires the being deciding that they're worth the effort of learning about that and learning what's out there and experiencing it, and like you said, trying and going and falling and maybe not liking it, and then trying something else and doing it again until they figure out what they want to do.

SPEAKER_00 57:40

Love that. Bite. Don't be humped and dumpty like Adela.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

I do that all the time. I used to do that all the time. All the time. We'll call it an ADHD problem. We'll call it the ADHD problem. That's what we'll just leave it on. But you don't have to go into debt for it.

Financial Fear And Planning For Life

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Speaking of going into debt and as a financial um advisor in that sense, how did you end up? You said you worked for a different company, and I want to get and ask you, how did you end up in the world that you're in right now and being on this level of um sales and almost entrepreneurship in a sense, too, because it's a lot of what you have to like go out and do. Um, and how did you find the finance in helping others? How do you relate the helping others understand their finances helps them understand their mental health, and then you have to do it? Yeah, what do you think holds a human back from reaching out to a financial advisor or to um a planner or anyone who understands finances and understands the structure of it, whether you're rich or poor, you know, whatever, of course, more for the lower income and the you know, what do you think stops them from going? Um I know for me it was fear. It was fear of looking at my finances, it was fear of actually seeing the numbers because being faced with being faced with the responsibility, accountability of the decisions I've made in the financial like realm and why I was where I was was one of the hardest things I I could do because it meant that I didn't value again the money or the time that I spent into building a life or any of that. And so when I was so afraid to look at that, I would never reach out to someone. Like I would never even think that I had the possibility or that I was, and because I was poor, right? Because I didn't know my finances, I did I was in debt, I was all that. So who who would be able to help me? How would like how would anyone, you know, want to take me and look at me because I have no money, I have no investments. And when we hear the word financial advisor, financial planner, financial like strategist, I think we all assume in a second that you have to have some kind of money or you have to be so rich to invest in yourself, right? Am I what what do you think? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:09

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

To even just to even just approach you for a conversation. Like we think we have to be like so well off just to approach you for a conversation when for the most part you guys give conversations for free. Yep, that's me. You and I, you and I met, you and I met, and I was like, I don't care. And you're like, but you know, I was like, I don't give a shit. I don't care about money. And you're like, but you know, and I'm like, nope. And then the amount of people around me, I'm like, nope, don't care. Although I know the importance. And now I understand the value of caring and having that care of my finances. Not, oh, I need money. I want money and like how do I live or whatever? But no, caring on how what I do today, instead of going and spending, you know, a weekly $25 on Starbucks, I could take that weekly $25 and put it into a life insurance plan or an insurance plan or an investment something. Like your $25 can go a long way if you actually can see what you're investing, but you have to face yourself first. Like you have to look at yourself and you have to go, hey, I'm not doing a very good job of monitoring what I'm doing every single day and how I'm spending my dollar and my penny. But then the other part is if we don't value our time, like and yeah, I've we've talked about this. Like my one hour is like worth thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, and people can't afford it. Like, I just to tell people you can. But if I'm willing to give you my dollar, my one hour, my thousands of dollars of what I think I'm valued at for like my existence, then why would you not care about the dollar you have in your bank account or the dollar of your time or how you're investing and how you're looking over your lifetime? Because again, it's 65, 70. We're living so much longer now. We think that our lifespan is gonna be like we're gonna die in 30 years. Like, no, I look at my life now and I've got 60 years to like win like hardcore. I just spent 40 years struggling and like having a hard time and not knowing. Man, thanks for the lessons. 60 now, the next 60 years, let's go, let's go. Like, there's no stopping it. But it took those conversations and uncomfortable conversations and facing myself and having, you know, somebody tell me, Adela, you're spending way too much money. You're not being accountable with what you want to do. And as a spiritual human, as a as a follower, Christ, not being a steward of my life and of my money, that hit me harder because I wasn't stewarding what I already had. And I was asking for more or asking for different venues to like solve problems, but I wasn't even willing to steward what I had. And I think that's part of our problems. We want to run away from what we have because, well, it's not good enough or it's not valuable enough. But we can't reach the next level unless we actually stop and pause and see where we're at, right?

Shop Around And Ask Plain Questions

SPEAKER_06 1:12:46

What could you do for yourself? Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:08

It's non-existent anymore. Like, we used to have to make like 15-year business plans back in school. Guys, I'm old, okay? I look I don't look old. I'm young, like, sure, I'll play youngins. But back in school, in our like in college days, high school days, when we think we'd have an idea or a plan, they'd ask us for a 20-year plan and like literally step by step on how to do this, where we're gonna get the money, how we're gonna execute, what we're gonna do. And then you realize that 20-year plan ain't coming to fruition in any shape or form, but you had to plan for 20 years. We can't even plan for like two weeks now. We can't even like the overwhelming anxiety for a human to plan out for two weeks is like mind-blowing to me. And I'm over here, like, my next six months is planned. What do you mean, Adela? Like, if it's not on my schedule and you're not within a two-week period, like having a conversation, you're not getting on my schedule. Like, my life is planned. And again, we don't find that value because we don't think that planning for our own self. I have a motto be smarter, prep harder. Prepping so much harder, prepping yourself in knowledge, arming yourself in education, um, in experiences and conversations, even though you may not do anything. Before I ever even went to a financial advisor or ever went to like a CPA or like the professionals, I spent like probably three years talking to people. Right? I spent time you and I've talked, like, and this is even recent. I and I keep telling people, the other part is you're allowed to shop for your financial advisor. Like, we think that we're like part of what we also, I don't think we understand as an independent, you know, sovereign agent of this existence is that we have the right to shop for what we want. Like you have 18 different billion financial advisors, doctors, all kinds of stuff. If one does not work and does not fit the life you are seeing for yourself in the upcoming future, go to the next one. It costs you nothing but the time. And most of like you said, they're willing to have a free conversation with you. So why are you so afraid of a free conversation?

SPEAKER_06 1:15:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:55

I'm just saying that. And I'm not saying don't have business and partners with family and build family and communities and all that stuff, please do. But like again, shop around. You're entitled to shop around. You're entitled to go and get different. And I say the word entitled because you are not, oh, I think I should know. You are literally entitled. That is what this country of offers you, that is what this life offers you, that is what this freedom offers you, the entitlement to go shop around. And if we're living in a capitalistic world of that, then go shop around. We like window shopping. Why? And that's the other part. Like, I couldn't understand how we would this is from a woman because that's how, you know, I think we go shopping, we do all this stuff. We'll we're willing to go spend hours of window shopping, but not spend hours of window shopping for a financial advice and conversation. Like, I will spend, you know, we'll spend hours going and looking at things on there that we might not be able to afford and dream of, but then we won't spend hours going to talking to somebody about how we could potentially afford the dream that we're dreaming about.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:58

They do. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:34

Yes. And it's not just about their personality, like, know if you like the being you're spending time with, because you're gonna spend a lot of time with that being.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:18

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:31

And that goes back to right, but that goes back into again that the fact that you are still responsible and accountable for what it is that you sign up for, how you get to there, what you do. Like, there's still so much work on you in your life that you for that life. You can't be dependent on it. Again, if we were to go into business for whatever reason, I'm not gonna sit here and you know this because I've been honest. I'm like, whatever Zach says, I'm like, Zach, let's talk about this. Like, I need to know where this perspective is. Here's where I'm thinking. Tell me your perspective. And then I'd be like, oh damn, you're right. Okay, cool. Okay, and the other part is can you explain it to me? Like you said, I call myself the common commoner. Like, can you explain it in the most common language for me? Because I'm stupid, and I say this with all due respect to myself. But I also have, again, I'm not not intelligent. Okay, I'm extremely intelligent. You know this, I'm a mastermind. However, understanding words is difficult for human beings when they're big, like you said, jargons, and for humans who already have emotional um tribulations that they're dealing with, mental stability, instability, or whatever it is that they're going through, or some like us have second languages, third languages, 15 languages that when you explain us into terms like this and this and this and this big thing, and you can big things, it's just we're like, that's too much, my brain hurts. I don't even want to talk to you. And it's like, how do you get it to lame in turns? Hey, Adela, I can take this $25 and I can turn it for you into $200,000 in 15 years. But here are the steps you have to take, and here's what it's gonna require you to do. Are you willing to be on board on that? Like, it's really that simple, not the other way around. Again, the sales dances we do. So as you shop around, how how are humans talking to you? What language are you understanding? Um, and then what questions are popping up and you're not asking either? Ask the questions, don't be afraid to ask the questions. You're not gonna insult anybody. What you're gonna do is gain more information and gain more understanding of something that you want to do, and then maybe just realize that you might may or may not need that. Um, but part of that process is you stepping up and be willing to work that, take that effort that you're worth those conversations. Because, like I said, Zach's there, but he's not gonna chase you around. You know, I'm here, but I'm not gonna chase you around. Like, you have to be willing because it's a partnership, it's a two-way street. Like, this is a responsibility accountability because I'm not gonna be responsible and be blamed for the decisions you made and you agreed to, right? Like, no, you you decided that we had a plan. Uh now follow through. And I think that's part of again our hard being it was me, the hard-facing truth of commitment and follow-through um on ourselves, and that we need to be, we need to do that, and and that we don't find value that we're worth the commitment in the follow-through. Like we were not worthy of that, um, as someone else might be. And I and you know, now I know for 100% I am. So like that's why we do what we do is like absolutely you are. There's no telling me any other different way. And if you tell me something different, then your mind is wrong. Like you're wrong, like you're just wrong, because I think 100% believe it that you're worth the effort of everything that you have to do. Um, doesn't mean it's easy, it doesn't mean it's gonna be maybe even hard. It just means that the effort has to be put into that, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:43

Correct me, yes. He's like, I will chase you.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:20

I will chase you down. Come near me, I'm coming for you.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:29

Yes. Yes. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

He's listen, he's that ne what's that um what's that one movie uh with Neil oh what's that Nelson guy? Neils Nielsen guy, he's like, I will find you, I will that's what just reminded me. I will find you, I will find you, I will call you, and we will have a conversation. That should be your deck that goes, I will talk to you, you will know who I am.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:49

I love it, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:52

He is he is, he is, or or a beautifully bright tie, or a beautifully bright tie. That's been his thing too. That's that's his thing, yeah. Absolutely, you guys. You can't miss his energy and me. That's what this is why you see, God is so good at putting humans in my life that are like my kind of, and I mean my kind of human, meaning heart, love, compassion, accountability, responsibility, like worth, all of those things, and the belief that humans are worth us serving humans and being good stewards of this life, not only for ourselves, but for those around us and those in need, is like the greatest like service we could ever give to the world. I think that you know, just to steward it the right way and be honest and be helpful in

The Artist Within Zach’s Next Chapter

SPEAKER_02 1:24:39

there. Um, so I want to ask you after like all this whole conversation, everything you you've reflected and all like this has been an awesome one, by the way. Like, this has been so cool. And one one more question for you. Um, when you think of Zach now and who he might be, who is who is the artist within Zach now? Or who is the artist that Zach might be wanting to become, whether that's in the financial world, because again, no matter where you're at, what you're doing, you're creating something, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:09

So who is Zach as an artist within? Who is Zach's artist within? Who is he? What is creating this next chapter?

SPEAKER_05 1:25:23

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:43

Yes, yes. And like you mentioned, the Commer Museum, I went to a networking event for um next next up jocks not too long ago, uh, which Ian, by the way, is gonna be your speaker at the event. So I'm so excited, you guys, too, for you guys for October 24th. Make sure you check us out, we'll be there. Um, but Ian is gonna be speaking at the event and and went to one of his events, and you know, you go through the networking, and I took the opportunity for like literally five minutes to in the rain, because it started raining, to just like I everybody's you know going one way. And then I decided to deviate in the little path and then just by myself, like dance in the rain for like five minutes while the whole world is up there having like, you know, their drink, they're having the conversations. I just like took myself out for a minute and did a little walk and then went up and I'm re-engaged again. So you can even in your networking opportunities or in your spaces take that moment as you're training yourself to disengage for a second, walk through, appreciate the beauty, and enjoy the joy, embrace it all, and then come back and re-engage into society. Um, I think that's a beautiful way of putting it and saying that. And so thank you so much. If uh there's one last thing you could leave our listeners off with, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:33

I love it. I love it, absolutely.

Final Words And How To Connect

SPEAKER_02 1:30:36

You guys, what a wonderful, wonderful conversation we just had, and I hope that you get some absolute amazing value out of it because I know I did. Um, and I want to again encourage you to follow, like, subscribe, do all the good things on our website, follow. You'll you'll get all the links, all the stuff for Zach. So follow him if you need any help or if you want to reach out to him and you're like, hey, I'm considering about rechanging, reshaping, or having a different conversation about my future. Reach out to him because he is obviously more than willing to have a conversation and chase you down. If you need conversations on the mental and emotional health inside of that, you know where Project Human is, you know where we're at. Um, but we don't chase you. We ask you to come to us willingly and wanting to help because we don't know your state of existence and we want to be there for you when you tell us that way. And that's part of responsibility of our of your own accountability of knowing yourself and knowing when you need to pause for a second and reach out. And we want you to know that we're here for you, no matter where you're at, no matter what state of existence you are. Our conversation is what we do. Um, and it can change and save a life. So if you can't reach us and you need and you have the capacity to offer it to someone else, please do so. And again, follow, like, subscribe, and thank you again for listening to the artist within. Until next time, we will see you guys.