Welcome Back And Big Gratitude

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Will that work? Oh, there we go. Hello, my darling friends. Hello, hello. Welcome to the Artist Within podcast. I'm your host, Adela Hittel, and this podcast is produced by Project Human Think A New Way to Think. And it is an extension of our creative project initiative that is part of our communications mission in conversation mission in which we will bring you conversations and different stories and aspects. And then, of course, my own personal solo episodes that I have not done in forever, to be honest. So let's acknowledge the fact that it's been, I think, a couple of months since I've actually done a solo episode where I've just come talk to you, give you a heads up of what's up, what I've been, you know, going through and how I'm navigating life and what my challenges have maybe, maybe not have been. And then um just an update on the organization or anything else. So a couple of things I want to kick the this episode with off is number one, I want to say thank you. Thank you, first and foremost, to God, because I am literally living the life in the dream of being able to communicate and conversate with human beings with literally just just for free. Um, when having these conversations have helped me and saved my life, have allowed me to think and process and and become a sounding board and a bouncing board to someone else. It has been a life-saving process and experience to produce um and be a part of this podcast, part of this organization, and just to build at the level that we've been building. And the oh my gosh, my nose just itches. I'm so sorry. Okay. That was insane. And back to main programming. And to be building what I've been building these last couple years, um, I'm kind of excited to share with you what my next steps are because they're gonna take be taking me back a little bit more and taking a step back and slowing down this pace of life. So I want to say thank you to God because I am here because of that. I'm understanding the value of life. I am understanding the value of my own existence, and I am understanding that rest is required, and the effort into rest that I put in is just as important as it is into the production of everything that I do. So I am I'm learning that. I'm learning to navigate and bridge that gap within myself because I have a hard time sitting down and resting or doing anything really that does not require me having an outcome, right? An output of some sort. So this will be a new phase of my life. It'll be something I have to, um, like I said, learn to navigate completely in a different way. And I'm excited for it. I really am because if there's one thing this year has taught me and this season has taught me, it's that trusting in the Lord and in the process has been the motto of my life. I started this organization with the motto of trust the process, and now it's absolutely trust the Lord and the process, because his process and his plans are the way to go, and mine are just ideas and thoughts and hopes and ambitions that ambitions that may or may not come to fruition. And most of the time they do come to fruition in just a completely different form than I would have thought of. And I'll talk to you guys about that in just a minute, you know, the runaway show, because that's that's really what has been going on with me the last couple months and how much time and effort that has taken. Uh, so yeah, so that was my first thank you. My second thank you that I want to do is to you guys. Thank you for following. Thank you for listening and subscribing and being part of the Artist Within community, part of Project Human community, the actual just human experience. I'm learning to be human, right? I'm just hopping into the understanding of what it means to exist as a human being and what this experience means. Not as my role in this society and in this world that has been set forth for me, but as my own human existence. No name, no, you know, no role, just a human being. And that is a different world, that is a different bridge, that is a different path, that is a different narrative that has to be restructured, reformatted, reframed, and in a way completely um, completely kind of killed off and then rebuilt in a new way, right? And that's what I did. So so this journey has been in that, and you've been a part of that. You've you've you've shown me that I'm capable and that your support has meant a lot to me in that way too. And so thank you. Thank you for being a part of that all these years. Uh, thank you for 1700 subscribers, not subscribers, downloads. I wish it was 17, 17, 1700 subscribers. That would be great. Uh, which let's do that, guys. Let's get to our YouTube channel and do that. Like that would be awesome next year to get 1700 subscribers. Because yeah, why not? So let's do that. Um, but thank you for the downloads. You know, you're listening, you're downloading, you're finding connection in in um in the stories and in the human conversation that we're having, you're finding some kind of value in my voice, which is beautiful. And I'm quite grateful for that because if you really knew what I thought of myself, um, of course I think highly of myself now, but the other part of me that sees no value in anything that I do or has no worth in any words that I say, to see those numbers, it also validates my existence, right? Not that I need the validation from the world because of course I have Christ and I and I'm really good at that. But in this world, it is it is hard to exist, and that is part of the human experience to want to see that and want to see the growth of that. And so I thank you because it proves to me that um what I am doing and the purpose that I have been sent here to have and the the value I am to provide is um is there. And so, yeah, so thank you for that. Thank you, thank you very much. I'm very, very, very appreciative. Um, last but not least, I want to thank every human being who has supported us from beginning to now, um, from every aspect. Literally, whether you were here with the organization from inception of five minutes to five hours to 500 days or five years. Um every part of that has been an amazing experience for me because it's grown, it's grown me, it's taught me how to be a leader, it's taught me how to express and how to navigate things, and it has absolutely taught me how to have human relations. Not that I have them that great anyway, still, I'm still working on that, but it has taught me that they're very important. And those human relations um are so much deeper than just a shallow, hello, goodbye, how's the weather? But a much more moment, meaningful moment of let me check in on you, uh, let me be the space that you lean on and allow me the opportunity to show you that I can be there for you and the give you the space maybe that you may not have known you needed just for that time being, so that you can navigate things, or vice versa, right? I may need it. And so that has been so great, and I'm so thankful to every human being that's been a part of the organization, part of what we've done, part of what we build. And um, like I said, it is something that I'm very, very proud of now. I was not proud when I started because I wasn't a part of who I was, um, and I shouldn't have been, but I am part of who I am today because I am not of this world. I, you know, I live in it, but I am a child of God, and that has a different meaning to me. And that means that there's so much more worth and value, and that I can be proud of my existence now, and that I can be proud of what I'm doing and showing up and stepping up and you know, being a good steward of this life. So I am very, very proud of who I am today. I know that again, the past is the past, and I have grace for the human in the in back then, and in this time and space, the fact that I can't be proud of myself and my existence, um, and that you stuck through my change and you watched me grow. I think it's a beautiful thing. And um, you know, I'm just so grateful. Uh I'm so grateful to be here. Um, yeah, so where am I at actually?

Mental Check In After The Push

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Let me let me tell you where I'm at mentally and emotionally, if I'm being honest. Um mentally I'm good. Uh I struggled a little bit this last couple of months because there was so much of responsibility and accountability that I put on myself because of a goal that I had wanted to achieve and I achieved, and I'm very, very grateful for those, again, humans who helped me achieve it. But mentally, I struggled a little bit in the in the idea of I questioned why I was doing everything I was doing. I definitely had a thousand and one moments of going, why? Why did I sign up for this? Why did I decide that this was worth my time and effort? Why did I decide that this is what I wanted to spend my time on? And instead, I could be sitting on the couch and enjoying a bag of chips or playing a game or reading a good book or knitting or gardening or anything else to be frank than what I was doing. But then the end result, after it was all said and done, was worth the effort, right? Um, so I struggled through that. I struggled in the in not knowing um whether humans had faith in me or not, or not necessarily faith in me, because they shouldn't have any faith in me. Um, we shouldn't have any faith in humans, but but did they have belief in in that in the being part of what I'm doing is worth their effort and time? And was there any belief in that I would be able to accomplish this, right? Um because of course you understand concerns and you understand humans and their need for assurance, but when you don't have the assurances and you don't have the answers, but you have big dreams and big goals and ambitions, and you are set on something that you know so hard and so deep within you is a part of something you want to do, but you don't know how, and and you have knows left and right, left and right, or you have humans or parties and groups that you would have thought would have been there to support you as you've supported them and shown up for them and have been there for them in the past, they would take the opportunity to want to get to know you more or see what you do and kind of see you in a different light than maybe what they did. And maybe my impressions weren't the best at the time, or whatever the case might be, and maybe just scheduling didn't work. But the idea that you know no one answered the call when you called, and that the humans that did answer the call were exactly the humans you needed to answer the call, and it was exactly as the space and place and the project or whatever it is that you do is meant to be because you accomplished it. At the end of all of that, looking back on it now, the struggle of the self-doubt of my own worth was honestly for a very limited time because I also know that I was gonna do it. Like I knew I was gonna do this, I knew I was gonna pull this project off. I knew that I was gonna finish this documentary, I knew that all of the things set forth for me are done because well, God said it was done, so I just had to show up. But again, being in this human existence and navigating it when you call for help or when you reach out and not to have it or not to have the support that you you even yourself set yourself up for that expectation, like that

Expectations Versus Requirements

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expectation. And you know how I feel about expectations, you guys. The fact that I even fell for my own, you know, rules, broke my own rules of there's no expectations, there's only requirements, Adela. And are you worried they're not meeting the requirements? And I fell for the expectation for some reason. Uh not just some reason, other than the reason of I have something I want to do, it's important, life is important, we should be a part of that. And that expectation that everybody should have that same feeling and same mission or same stance was my own trap I fell for. Um, that had me in loops for a little while at certain points in my life during this process. Because again, there's no expectation. No one is expected. No one is expected, nothing is expected, at least not in my the way I live my life now. But there are requirements in my life. And I was required to create a set, to create an event, to finish a job, to complete an objective. And did I do all of that? Yes, yes, yes. I was required to um deliver, you know, the product for what I needed to deliver and to make some things happen. And the ones that agreed to be a part of this were required at that same level to show up and deliver, and did they? Yes. So it's like when the requirements were there, everything was fine. But when the expectation in my own mind of expectations popped in, not so much fine because my mental health was like, mmm, Adela, Adela, you have so many expectations. But I hope that even in that expectation and in those moments, that from what I have been able to gather in the feedback, you know, the team didn't feel it so much, and things were handled, and I still navigated, and my leadership was there. They communicated, they knew what would need to be done. And um, and I'm not saying it was perfect. I'm just saying that we were able to get it done. There's so many nitpicking things that I have about like I have about as as much of a 99-page PDF file as I had on the event in the process over these last couple months. Uh, I have a 99-page PDF file on my own nitpicking of what I could have done better, how I could have communicated better, in in which way I'm gonna improve next time, how we're all gonna improve next time. The processes, what will change, what will not change when I tell you everything has already been dissected, it has been like dissected, and now it's not to have everything finally in post and post meaning, no more projects as of right now for this next year, no more um creative kind of collaborations at the moment because this postwork is gonna require quite a bit of attention and detail and strategy, and that's kind of a weight off my shoulders because I feel like I've been doing this for the last 10 years and building this up and building this idea of something, and now that I got it done and the chapter is closed, it feels so small, like I don't know how to explain it, other than it feels so small and yet it's so monumental, it feels so like okay, what's

What It Means To Be Human

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next? And it hasn't even begun. But because the work of building the actual story of building myself and the narrative of mental health and what it means to me, and what this human experience is, and actually not even knowing that that was the question I was asking, what is this human experience? But trying to understand my own existence and my own mind because again, I was told I was crazy and hormonal, and everything is in my head, and that just all the things, and I didn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it. So, how was I gonna build it? How would I express it? And what were the different ways of my need to articulate what I was trying to uh like navigate and learn, and that was literally what does it mean to be a human being? What does it mean to be a human being? And it means to me to exist in this world, to simply exist now as a human itself, uh the complexity of our existence and uh and the depth of that complexity is the beauty of navigating this life, and that's where trials and tribulations and resilience and wins and triumphs and joy and all of that come into play. But the idea of being a human is to simply exist. And the fact that we do, and the fact that we get to create more and do more. I think after this event and after creating what we did and inviting the humans to be part of an experience, hearing back that one, they needed this, some of them needed this, some of them didn't know that they needed their cup poured into, and it was so nice to have that done. Others reaching out and saying, Thank you for sharing your art and thank you for sharing your message and what you're doing. Seeing that we did impact the room and the community in that way brought so much joy to me. But at the same time, it was like I accomplished what I had set out. Now what? Like now what? It's how do we how do I impact and continue on an everyday scale, on an everyday conversation to do that? Because that was one event, and in a room full of humans, and yes, it took a couple of weeks, and yes, we had to coordinate, but for that one night, that was that, and that's not feasible every day. That's not sustainable. So, how do I do that and create that same experience of feeling of love, of feeling seen and and heard, uh understood, even for a second, in a space where, like right now, you know, I'm talking to a window and a camera, and the best way that I do everything is human-to-human experience. So this is even different for me and difficult for me because I don't like to ramble on by myself. I don't like to just talk forever by myself, even though I do that on my own. And I sit and I navigate and I'm my own sounding board, and I really do end up having some great epiphanies in those moments when I do, and I'm like, oh man, I should really talk about this or I should do this, and then I don't, because it's just for me. That whole process is for me. And what I stand on and what I've built on is the human conversation and the human connection, which requires more than one self. It requires two, hence why there's not so many solo episodes, you guys, because I like the human conversation in two together, together. But I need to use up some of my time that I spent and doing a lot of stuff, and some other podcasts are coming out soon, and there's just a lot of things, and you need to be updated. And and yes, you would like to potentially hear from me. Somebody told me that too. And so here I am doing what I'm supposed to do, reluctantly and excitedly. Again, I'm honest. Um it's been it's been a weird process after this show because everything in me is telling me that I need to slow down even more.

Slowing Down And Preparing For Harvest

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And I thought I had slow down, and it's not slow down and not do anything, it's slow down and reprioritize, restructure. Our 10-year mark is coming up, and my 10-year mark is coming up. God told me my 40s were gonna be my harvest year. There's a part of me that know there's some things coming to fruition that I have no control over how small, how big, how deep, how wide, how whatever, but there is some things coming to fruition. And the preparation for that too is in that season as well. And as I've been learning how to garden and seeing what it takes right before harvest or what it takes to build the garden and how long it takes to actually grow something, that season for me is coming as a human. Again, I don't know what that means, I have no understanding of any of it. I I do know that that is happening, and part of that harvest, I think also for me has been I've planted so many things out there, and not everything is going to actually survive through all the seasons. And that's a little bit scary for me because I'm so used to uh doing so many things at once. And yes, I've scaled back, but I'm still doing a thousand things, and to be scaling down even more, and not that they won't come to be needed later or that they won't regrow later, or that the fruit of it won't need to, um, or the root of it just doesn't need to be repotted into something else, or but a lot of the plants that planted out there will potentially not have, you know, will not be growing. Now, if they all grow and have, I'll grow a huge harvest on uh on this season, that will be freaking fantastic. But the reality is that, and you know, that means with what I'm doing with my organization, with what I'm doing with my personal life, my own desires of growth that I want to have, and my dreams of my own education more and furthering my own self in in teaching my own self more. Right. Not just how far I've come right now through you guys and the conversations I've had, but really now hunkering down on some educational things that I want to learn and understanding a few things so that I can come to you with more wisdom. There's a part of me that's not so childish anymore, and that's exciting. There's a part of me that is very excited to step into this new world of the so-called adulthood and being able to walk the paths and feel really confident in that walk without the need to explain myself or overcompensate, just showing up in all of it is kind of where it's exciting for me now. What that looks like, I don't know yet how that will look like. I don't know yet, but I do know that taking that time is gonna be necessary. And so for the first kind of quarter or two of the year, I you'll still see the podcast, you'll still see our MCCs, there'll still be content from us, but I will be on a little bit of a different space and focusing on a little bit different things, and we won't have our community events as much this year, as much as I want to. I really do. But we do want to focus, and I do want to focus on educating ourselves more, restructuring a bit more of how we lead, how I lead and and growing our organization from within. Part of something else I realized is that as much as I've been caring and pouring into learning

Nurturing Community In A Fearful Time

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the community and doing that, I haven't necessarily been nurturing the community. And that's a harsh reality to face. Doesn't mean I haven't shown up for humans on an individual level. I have been there, obviously. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I wasn't. But on a community level, I don't I haven't been necessarily been nurturing it that way. And I want to see how I'm gonna do that. I wanna take a look at my approach to the community in all the spaces that are available and see where my impact can be the greatest and how we can nurture into change and nurture into life, right? And and nurture into something beautiful that we can all create collectively versus just feeling hopeless. You know, I there's so much conversation that I've had these last couple of weeks with humans who just feel hopeless about every situation and everything going on. And even as I'm filming this right now, it's election day. And so the idea of everything going on there, and I am going out to vote to you guys, and that's part of where the conversations I have to have with myself too is where am I nurturing in those conversations in my own understanding and and the community understanding? And where is it just fear advocated, including myself, because of the experiences I went through? And where is it the opportunities that we can take to again grow and build together as a community versus this whole negativity of destruction? And I just I don't want to be a part of that anymore, not even in my own stance, not even my own existence. I absolutely want healing. I'm not saying that there's not gonna be, you know, through that healing and through the peace and structure, those words that I talk about constantly, that there's not trials and tribulations and sadness and anger and all of these things, but they're all part of our human nature and the human experience. But the underlying one should always be peace, structure, stability. And how do we sustainably and collectively come together to build something that is going to impact our communities and impact our children and impact the humans that we love and we care about? And I think that we have a prime opportunity to do something like that. I don't know what that means, I don't know what that looks like, but I do think that, and I do see that, and I and I feel that. And part of part of me coming back into and not even back, but really coming into the word now and taking my Bible study and the word very seriously for my own self, has been having to take that step back and reflect upon my own actions, my own wants, my own needs, my own desires and ambitions versus, well, God's will is for me and the opportunities He's presented me, and which ways I am to navigate and which ways I am to maybe contribute and be a part of, but not necessarily be in, or not even be a part of anything, and continue the road that I'm on and doing what I'm doing. There's so many questions and so many unknowns from me over these next couple months that the only thing that I do know is that I am good. You know, I'm at peace right now, and in any other time I would be having so much anxiety because there's so many things to answer to and answer even for in this world, but because I know that I I don't need to for any of that. Like I don't need to, and some of it I don't want to. And if I'm being honest, that's okay. Maybe that want is not required for me to have right now, and maybe that want that I had before is something that is not, again, needed right now, and it could be draw draining me because it was a want of a past, and I can't let go of a dream, or I can't let go of something until I accomplish it and get it done because again, I know myself, I know I know who I am, and I know when I commit to something and how much I want to prove everyone wrong, or prove myself wrong, or just have this ego moment about myself that cutting loose in some things is a smarter leadership decision to do than to hold on and let things bleed you dry. And so a lot of those decisions are coming up for me. A lot of things that I am navigating and learning are a

Coming Home To Order And Peace

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part of that. And so I am gonna be refocusing and recentering and figuring out what it is that I'm in love with the most in this world and outside of myself, of course. No, I'm just kidding. But what am I really in love with? Um and part of something that hit me after this event too when I came home was I didn't realize how much in love what I was with my own home. Right? I didn't realize how how deeply I cared for the structure and the peace that surrounds my home. The the disarray and the chaos in the making of the event I had to really sit and reconcile was was all of that worth the peace and the chaos that was presented in my own home. And on a personal level, no, it wasn't for me. Like for me personally, it wasn't. But that's my own ego, I will say, talking because on another level, it was such an opportunity for me to take to declutter so much and reflect and reshape some parts of my life that I didn't think I needed to. And to recognize a few things about myself even more and to make them a solid foundation of my coming, you know, year and how I'm growing, is that I really like order. Like genuinely, I am in love with order. I love organization and and I love things to be clean and put together and mapped out, and I absolutely just it it brings all the chaos of the world and the unknowns and the unsures into one part of going, like, there's an at least a roadmap of some sort, right, in this world. And that has been something that I have actually been almost like I've been calling it, oh, I'm a strategy. I like strategy and I'm a good organ. Like, I'm just kind of putting a mask on how important it is to me. And after this event, and after everything that I had finished and seeing the value in that for my own self, I was like, there's no way that I could ever be in a position now in a workspace or an environment or even for my own self. Like literally, it made me pause for my own self of going, Adela, you are not in as much, you know, organized, organized as organized as you think you are, or as in control of your things as you think you are. You're still a little chaotic. So you should really reflect upon that and you should take a step back and declutter yourself and reprioritize and things. All of that was so important because how I ended up reacting and feeling afterwards was so amazing. It was like going to the gym or achieving, you know, my Nobel Peace Prize or getting all the awards for a documentary. Like I felt so good at being able to pause for a second and say, I love my home. I love every piece of this. I love how organized I am now. I love that I love structure. I don't care that no one understands how much I need this and that people make fun of me and my, you know, my own PDF files and my all these things that I do, I don't care. Because the peace that it brings me in my own home and knowing what I've done, the control that I may not have of the world that it gives me in my own home is something that I, as a type A control freak, need. And when you learn that there are ways that you can have that life that you want, but controlling the life that you live in by yourself, just your 40 inches, like your home, then how you come out to the world, it doesn't matter because you know that they don't live with you. The world doesn't live with you. So even that event, all of that, it I'm not saying that it doesn't matter, but like when I come home and I am at my own home, it doesn't matter.

Leadership Lessons And The Effort That Matters

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I completed an objective. We did the objective, and the mission and the intention was to create a space and place where humans felt seen, felt heard, including myself. And that we captured a piece and place and space that would potentially translate across the world when we when we share the documentary and hit hearts and and and maybe give you a different perspective of life. Check, check, check, check, check. We've won. Like there's nothing more that I want to sit and you know, focus on on going how terribly I didn't communicate in this way, or how badly I messed up on not showing up on my own time when I got called, or how my script was this, or how what okay, those are just minor things that I have to fix. The fact that I get to have that conversation with you right now shows the growth and progression of my own self. Because I would never in the past say that, that it didn't matter, all things considered. The amount of ways that I would have beaten myself up and blamed everyone for the things that I did not do the way I needed to be done or wanted to be done, and not be able to take responsibility or accountability for my own self and for what I would have wanted out of it, other than the intention of having good hum having a good time and having a good experience, right? Again, is a testament to when I humble myself so much that I've surrendered this idea of the expectation and just follow the requirement, which is to follow Christ and to show up in a loving manner and to deliver the best that I can and to look at everything that has been done and to go, okay, great, the effort was there. You showed up, you delivered the best you could. Everything else is an added bonus, and the objective is complete. Now, can we improve? And again, can things be fixed and made better and processes and everything, of course, that is part of the privilege and the beauty and the benefit of being able to wake up the next day and say, you know what, I want to do that again. And yes, I want to do it again. I'm gonna create another event and I wanna, you know, do it differently. I have so many different ideas and and how to do it now so that more humans are involved. But that idea also has to be paused and put on a shelf until I do what I'm supposed to do and required right now, which is to pause, reflect my own PSA, and then take action accordingly to the things that are required of me right now that make the best sense. Again, part of my training of my own self and my leadership skills it now is how do I make fast, decisive um actions and that will result in the most benefit in not just the short term but the long term. And I've done a lot of hard work. There's so many good things and so many things out there that for right now, pausing and maybe pausing some of them is gonna be a necessity. And that again is hard for me to do and hard for me to admit. But part of the humility and humbleness is to know that I'm not great at everything, that everything can be done at once, and that it's okay that you didn't see it all the way through. Like, but you saw it through. That's the other part I'm learning. I don't have to prove to anyone all the things that I said I would do. I just have to continue to show for myself. And I think realizing over these last couple of months and this last year, that has been the greatest realization is that I'm not in a proof anybody stage anymore, or or have to deliver to what I said to you because not that it doesn't matter, or you don't matter, or your thoughts don't matter to you, but they don't matter again when I'm living in my $24, 24 hours in the way I exist in this world. And the way I exist and the way I come is so different day to day, just as yours is. And that's the beauty of it. And I want to approach it that way. I don't want to approach it in the way that I assume anything anymore. Um, but I want to approach it in making the best and fastest decisions that I can to make my 24 hours, $24 be the most beneficial to me in my life. And because of that, then it can be most beneficial to the humans that I, you know, I want to pour into and nurture in the communities that I want to inspire and build and all the other things that are on my heart to do. But that requires, again, the self-reflection back on there. So yeah, so that's where I've been at. That's my my, you know, the spiel of all of what I feel, what I'm thinking, and how all of that is, you know, the event itself was fantastic, and the process leading up to it was challenging on its own. But in all honesty, in all honesty, it was not hard. Um, it was there's just so many moving parts and so many things to get done, and so much communication, just not enough time and not enough hands and not enough resources. But like it wasn't hard, and it it required a little more effort and a little more forethought, and you know, a little bit more creative thinking in how we were gonna do things, but again, it wasn't hard. And that's the other part of my lesson that I was taught that everything else in my life has seemed so hard to do, and this is one of the biggest things that I've I've I've actually had to do and got to do on my own for myself. We're not talking about the documentary, it's taken years to do and on smaller build, you know, smaller sets build and thing. This was this was pretty big. It involved two types of projects a a set and an actual event that's authentic. And so to provide to the community what they were needing, which was again that night of hope and celebration and love and just joy, and also providing footage and you know, visuals for a documentary, two things at once to be doing, to all of that to be done. Um it's it's been a pretty I'm not giving myself a lot of credit for the things that had to be done, but it wasn't hard. That's all I can say is there's so many things that had to get done and they got done, but it wasn't hard. Um, it just wasn't. And so again, back in the day I would have thought everything was hard. Now it's literally showing up and figuring out how to do it, and deciding that that is worth the effort of showing up and figuring out how to do. Like that's ultimately what this whole life is about is deciding if what you're doing is worth the effort, and if what you put your effort into is worth the value of you. And I wholeheartedly believe that the effort I put into Project Human and the effort I put into this podcast and into the conversations I have with human beings is so worth the value. Because what I receive in the end of it is absolute just joy in knowing that that human exists or that you exist, not because of us or or any shape or form, but the fact that you even find the slightest inclination that there's worth and value in us means that there is that common ground of humans are worth the effort, and you are worth the effort as we are. So anyway, you'll keep hearing me talk about that constantly, the effort, the effort, all on my own, because I am the testimony of the effort that I've put into myself over all these years. You can look back on all of our podcasts, all of my attempted podcasts, all the projects I've done. You could look back and see the growth and the progression I've done. You can see how my narrative has changed and how I've grown in what I'm saying and speaking and everything. You you can see that it's night and day. My physiology has changed, literally. So, again, the idea that humans are worth the effort, I am a testament that I have been worth the effort and that effort that I put into myself, into understanding myself, learning myself, learning what I want, where I want to be, how I want to be. And again, I know that I'm privileged in so many ways to be able to do that. But so are you just because of the fact that you exist and breathe. You are worth that effort. Literally, just because you exist and breathe. So, anyway, that's what I got going

Voting Day And Grace For Tomorrow

SPEAKER_00 40:11

on. That's that um I want to continue to say thank you to you. I want to continue to say I'm so, so grateful and so joyful for your support, for your subscriptions, for your donations, for your belief in me as a human being, that my mission and my belief, the humans are worth the effort of actual peace, love, and joy, not destruction, but creation. Um again is a deeper, longer mission that I will potentially never fulfill, will probably never fulfill, but it's one worth fighting for, what one worth putting an effort into because every human is worth life. Um and I will never ever, ever give up on that, no matter what um anyone says. I don't care. Uh, because I feel that I feel that so wholeheartedly me that I am worth life, I am worth breath, and all of us should be fighting for that um and advocating for that. Anyway, I am gonna go and uh it is voting day. We're gonna go vote and get a few things done. And uh until then, I hope that you are doing a fantastic job in your own life by recognizing that you're a mere human being and that everything that you oh, this is the other epiphany. Everything that we're doing is for the first time. Like today is the first time today. Yes, tomorrow is Wednesday, and we've had the Wednesday, but tomorrow is a different Wednesday because it's not the same Wednesday as last Wednesday. So you've never experienced Wednesday tomorrow, so you were never a human tomorrow and we're tomorrow Wednesday, but you were human and last Wednesday, but last Wednesday might have sucked, so but tomorrow's Wednesday might not be the same Wednesday. So you're not your new human experiencing well, you're the same human, but you're experiencing the new human experience of a Wednesday tomorrow because it's new. Anyway, if that makes sense to you, I hope it does because it makes sense to me, which makes me a lot like gives me a lot more grace to myself to be like I'm human, and if I messed up today and I get the grace to wake up tomorrow, I get to be a little bit better. That's kind of where that is. Anyway, that's that. All right, I'll talk to you in a while, you guys. Bye.